Healing from a Traumatic 1st Birth

This morning I woke up with a text from a past client who gave birth to her 2nd baby boy early this morning. She gave me the stats of the baby and wrote "Great birth!" I was so happy to hear this as her first birth was quite rough and left her feeling unsure about what she wanted for her 2nd birth. This time around, she ended up achieving what she wanted the first time: an all natural birth. This is the 2nd time in the last couple of months that I've had a past client contact me to tell me similar stories. It got me thinking about birth trauma and how subsequent births can truly HEAL some of the scars from traumatic births.

If you have experienced a traumatic birth, you may be frightened the next time around, as was the case with this client of mine. We met early in her pregnancy to discuss her birthing options. She expressed to me that she really wanted to try again for a natural delivery but was afraid because of what happened the first time around. When we met, she had been seeing her primary OB/GYN and wasn't sure if she should switch because he was very C-Section happy. I encouraged her to explore other options and she did end up switching to a very well-known midwife in the area. She signed up for hypnobirthing classes. She prepared for this 2nd birth and worked through her fears.

So when I recieved the text from her this morning that said "Great birth!" I was immediately curious as to how it went! She had a perfectly natural, uncomplicated birth. Here are some good resources about preventing traumatic birth as well: http://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/traumatic-birth-prevention-resource-guide/

The Night You Were Born

The Night You Were Born

Dear Oliver,

I met your Mommy pretty late in her pregnancy with you. From the moment we met, she expressed how ready she was to meet you. We all thought you would be born very soon, however, you stayed nice and comfortable inside Mommy through the end of August, and then through Hurricane Irene which I thought I would have to go out in to get to your birth. But you had other plans.
Your Mommy, Daddy and big Brother Henry had been anxiously waiting your arrival for a few weeks before you decided it would be a good time to come. Then on September 4th you were ready. And I mean ready! Your mommy called me at 5:30pm to say she thought that it would be the night! About an hour later, she called again and said the contractions were 10 minutes apart. An hour later, they were 4 minutes apart! So we all left for the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital around 8:30pm, your mom was in very active labor. The contractions were about 2 minutes apart and strong. Your mommy was amazing through each one, moving around and coping beautifully. Not long after I arrived, Mommy said she needed to push. Daddy and Henry walked in just in time and after about 5 minutes of strong pushing, you were born - perfect in every way. The look of love and joy on Mommy and Daddy’s faces was priceless. When you were first born, you gave out a nice cry but then settled peacefully on your mommy’s chest and nursed for the next hour. It was a beautiful moment of bliss.

Happy Birthday Oliver!

Jackie and Matt are one of the warmest couples I have ever met. I imagine they are just one of those couples that everyone just loves because they're love for each other and for their children is so apparent and contagious! So when I was invited to the birth of their second child, I was thrilled.

The story of their birth of daughter Claudia was positive and they seemed very happy with how it all unfolded. Jackie's plans were pretty simple for this delivery. She wanted a natural, unmedicated, supported birth. We met a few times to discuss the "logistics" and practiced some imagery exercises for the pregnancy and upcoming birth. It was quite nice to see how confident Jackie was feeling about her body and her inner strength to get through another birth completely naturally.

March 22nd was the day I got the call from Jackie. She had been contracting quite a bit but wasn't feeling the intensity yet. She happened to have an appointment with the midwives that day and they determined she was 4-5 cms dilated. So they midwife sent her to the hospital being that this was her 2nd baby - it could be quick! So I met Jackie and Matt a few hours later at the hospital. We did some visualizations, some hula-dancing, some of this, some of that. But, contractions seemed to peter out and not much was happening - baby wasn't ready! Jackie and Matt were disappointed but decided it would be good to go home and rest while they had the chance. We all went home and got some sleep (I slept, I'm not so sure about the excited parents!)

The next morning, I heard from Jackie around 6am. Sure enough the contractions had intensified and she knew "this was it." so I met the soon-to-be parents of 2 at the hospital. Jackie was visibly in real active labor at this point. She was managing the contractions incredibly -- breathing through each one with her eyes closed, very focused. Matt and I applied a lot of counter pressure and hip-press action along with some massage. Jackie was so strong. Any nurse who walked in couldn't believe she was in active labor because she was so calm and collected. By 10am, she was ready to have her baby. We all "geared up" and helped Jackie into a comfortable pushing position. She pushed only a couple of times before she and Matt met their beautiful, healthy 9 pound baby boy -- Matthew Jr. How perfect it was. Jackie and Matt were overjoyed as they stared into the eyes of their boy and one another. It was a truly blissful experience.

Ellie’s Birth

Ellie’s Birth
November 18, 2010

Ellie decided she wanted to make her big appearance on her due date – how punctual. She had been teasing her mommy for weeks with all sorts of Braxton hicks and contractions so I was quite excited to get the call that mommy thought this was the real thing!

Although we had planned to labor at home and only go to the hospital when things were really heating up, Mary thought it would be best to head to the hospital to labor so that we didn’t have to worry about making the trip when things were really close. So, I met the lovely Mary and Todd at the hospital around 3:30pm. Mary was doing a fabulous job managing her contractions – breathing through each one and relaxing in between. She and Todd were stunned, but very excited, to hear that Mary was 7cm dilated. Naturally, they kept comparing this labor to their first experience, but it was far from similar.

When we finally got into a labor & delivery room, we were able to set up. Todd and I tried everything we could think of to keep Mary comfortable. We talked her through contractions, helped her into different positions, reminded her to breathe and believed in her. Mary did a wonderful job during each contraction which were short, but visibly increasing in strength. Mary used her voice to get through some of the contractions. The first time the nurses heard what I consider a beautiful labor noise, they all rushed in to see what was going on. After all, it’s not every day that they see a mom give birth without any drugs. When they left, we all giggled at their reaction, and at how quiet the L&D floor is. But they were all very supportive of Mary’s decision to birth her baby naturally.

By 6:30pm, only 3 hours after we arrived, Mary’s doctor checked her and said she was progressing nicely and that soon she would push her baby into the world. So around 7:00, Mary did just that. She birthed her beautiful, healthy baby girl. Ellie went almost immediately to the breast where she nursed peacefully. Mom and Dad were thrilled to meet their new daughter while the doctor, nurses and doula were lucky enough to witness this miracle. Joy filled the room as Mary and Todd looked into each other eyes and then at their baby girl, back and forth.