Maggie's Birth Story: My Second Marathon

I've written a lot of birth stories, but this one is my own. It's my account of my experience of the marathon of a labor and birth of my baby girl, Margaret Eva.

Saturday, December 5th

The contractions, which had previously been just Braxton Hicks, seemed to be coming more regularly and getting more and more consistent. I got excited. Don and I were at a beautiful Puja ceremony which seemed like a perfect way to start my labor journey. But later that evening, things slowed down. That night, I snuggled up with Don and slept a solid 6 hours. Since I hadn't been sleeping well in the week leading up to this point, this solid stretch of sleep ended up being a life saver later on.

Sunday, December 6th

When I woke up Sunday morning, contractions started almost immediately. They were 3 minutes apart and I noticed quickly they felt different, stronger and they happened in more of a consistent pattern. I felt this was finally the real thing! Don and I ran a few errands, took Piney to the park, made birthday cupcakes for baby, and enjoyed early labor. We stayed in touch with our doula and midwife all day. We agreed to meet the midwife at 7pm at the hospital to check in and see what was happening. As we were leaving for the hospital, I felt I was leaving too soon, but didn't listen to my instincts. I let my curiosity get the best of me and off to the hospital we went.

I was 3 cm and 80% effaced when we arrived. Even though I knew this was probably our fate, I was disappointed. We thought we would just go home but unfortunately I had a high blood pressure reading and was medically advised to stay. We set up shop in the labor room. My mom came to join us. My best friend and her husband came to bring us some dinner and their love & encouragement which lifted our spirits up. Labor continued as we walked the hallways, used the birth ball for different positions and I continued to try to relax.

Monday, December 7th

Our doula came around 2am. We were happy to see her, knowing she could help support our efforts of getting things moving. Side note: My doula was someone who I took my doula training with in 2008. I ran into her a couple of years ago and after a brief chat, I told her that when I get pregnant, I'd love to have her as my doula. And here we were.

As we continued to labor through the night, the cx were getting stronger. At around 6:30am, the midwife checked me and announced I was still 3cm. After laboring for 24 hours, I was only 3cm. I thought HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?! I completely lost it. I sobbed like a baby in Don's arms. So many self-doubting thoughts raced through my head: "My labor isn't progressing?!?!" "Why is this happening to me?" "Yes of course, this WOULD happen to me!" "Just give me a C-section because that's how these type of labors end!!" "Okay, just get a C-section and be fine with it"

After my necessary meltdown and much encouragement from my birth team, I was ready to just keep trucking on, to try to keep the labor going. But, by 3pm things seemed to be slowing down, and almost completely stopped. At this point, my doula and midwife pulled out all their tricks: nipple stimulation with the breast pump, acupuncture, even an enema which I completely resisted (it wasn't that bad). When the midwife checked me again at around 5pm, I was 5cm. Yay! It's working! She offered to break my water at that point too, which I was open to. When she broke my water, I felt SUCH relief from the constant feeling of extreme tightness I felt in my belly for the past month. Turns out I had a LOT of amniotic fluid in there.

After that, the contractions got way more intense and when the midwife checked me a few hours later, I was still 5cm! My body was messing with me. Come on! How?? I thought. The midwife suggested I labor in a specific position for a while, because there was something stopping my cervix from opening. So I labored in a modified hands and knees position for about an hour. Things were really picking up. She checked me at 9:30pm and low and behold, I was 6-7 cm! TUB TIME! Finally!! This came at the perfect time, I was starting to feel that soon I would be unable to cope if I couldn't get in the tub because the cx were so intense and I was utterly exhausted and sick of hearing discouraging cervical progress reports.

The team packed our bags and moved over to the birthing center. I couldn't get in that tub quick enough. When I got in, I immediately felt a sense of relief and relaxation although I am sure it didn't sound that way. I was moaning so loudly, like an animal in the wild. It was the only way I could cope and everyone in the room kept saying "good.." "that's it".

I started to push around 11:30pm, and I remember everyone saying "this baby is going to be born right on her due date!" which was the next day, December 8th.

Tuesday, December 8th

Pushing felt great. It felt right and gave me relief. I pushed for an hour before I was told that baby had too many heart rate decels, and that I needed to get out of the tub. At that point, I didn't care, I just wanted to meet my baby! I got in the bed right next to the tub and spent the next hour pushing her out with lots of encouragement (and NO COUNTING!) from my team. Her head was born with her little hand right next to it. The rest of her was born at 1:26am and she was placed directly on my chest. Sweet, sweet relief. The best. Everything I pictured - a perfect little baby at the end of the marathon. She was placed face down, so we couldn't see if she was a boy or girl. Frankly, neither Don nor I cared. We didn't even look at first. Finally after a few minutes, they flipped her over so Don could take a look. It took him a few seconds to announce it because he was in shock at what he didn't find (he was sure it was a boy the whole pregnancy). It was a girl! A beautiful, perfect daughter.

My mom sobbed happy tears, and Don and I just looked at each other in disbelief. Margaret Eva was here, we were elated. It was the most joyful moment of my life.

Maggie's birth taught me many things. Going in, I thought I had a great plan: trust my body, and it will all work out. Turns out that wasn't that far from the truth. But actually trusting my body was the hard part. Luckily I had the most amazing, supportive team at my side, to help me get through the hard parts when self doubt and fear crept in.

The lessons I learned from Maggie's birth continue to arise as I process different moments from the entire labor. It was truly an eye-opening experience in so many ways. I had witnessed 40 childbirths before my own. Each one helped me prepare but nothing could have prepared me fully. Birth is a unique experience each woman goes through each time she bears a child. My journey was what I needed and nothing more. It was perfectly imperfect and has made me appreciate the process of pregnancy and birth as a right of passage into motherhood more than I already had.

A birth story by B.R.C.

An old friend and high school volleyball teammate graciously shared her birth story with her blog followers. It's a truly amazing recount of her perspective of the birth of her first baby. Check it out! http://bushbabycolvin.blogspot.com/2012/04/birth-story-2-weeks-post-delivery.html

Pushing for First-Time Moms by Gloria Lemay

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/pushing.asp

A wonderful article in Midwifery Today by Gloria Lemay about Pushing for First-Time Moms

Born at the Right Time

Dear Edward:

You were right on time – born on your due date! But the road was not an easy one for your Mom and Dad. From the back and forth’s during the pregnancy to the extended labor process, you had your own plans for how you wanted to enter this world.
When your mom went into labor on November 3rd, she and your daddy labored at home for a good 10 hours before I even arrived. When I got there, your mom was doing a lovely job managing the contractions. She felt a lot of pressure in her back so your daddy and I spent most of our time with our fists in her back! This provided some relief for her during the contractions. I kept urging your mommy to drink her Thyme tea – which she did like a trooper! At 2am, about 17 hours after her labor began, we made the trip to the hospital. When we arrived, we found out not only was your mommy 3 cms, but her water had broken also! We were proud of her hard work but knew we had a long way to go.

Your mom remained calm and maintained a beautiful breathing pattern throughout the entire process. The position you were in wasn’t making it easy for you to come down or for your mom to stay comfortable. Mommy and daddy were hanging in there but were very anxious to meet you and see your cute little face. Not to mention your 4 anxious grandparents waiting for you in the lobby since 5am!

Finally around 6pm on your due date – November 4th, we got the good news that you’d be making your appearance soon! As we geared up for the Second Stage of labor, your mom and dad were clearly excited about the idea of meeting their little one. The mystery of your sex would be revealed, and they could soon revel in the joy and love for their new child.

During this stage, Dad had a few moments of queasiness but he hung in there! Your strong mommy pushed you out very efficiently! After all, she was very ready to meet you. Before we knew it, you were being plopped on your mommy’s chest. A beautiful, healthy boy you were. Your parents rejoiced, smiled and showered you with love and kisses. Your grandparents rushed in to meet you and fell in love right away. You are a special boy, Edward Jacob, and I feel honored to have been a part of your birth.

“I can handle anything that comes my way”

I have been eager to attend a homebirth since even before I was a doula. The idea of birthing your baby in your own home seemed somehow magical to me because all I had ever hear about was hospital births. But two years into being a doula I still hadn’t attended a homebirth! I knew I would eventually but I never knew it would be as amazing as I pictured it.

I met Lily and Robert through the local doula network. After meeting them once, they graciously invited me to attend their upcoming homebirth. When we met, I could tell Lily really knew what she wanted. She was excited to birth this baby! She was confident and instinctively believed in her natural abilities to give birth. I felt excited and lucky to be working with Lily and Robert.

The day Lily went into labor was the one day Robert absolutely had to be at work. He had asked the baby to wait until this day was over to be born. So I went to their home that morning and hung out with Lily while Robert finished his project at work. She was in early labor, and was managing the contractions very well. We talked, walked, ate, and relaxed. She showed me her daily affirmation which read: “I can handle anything that comes my way.”

When Robert arrived home around 1pm, Lily’s labor progressed into active and she was on her way! The midwife arrived at about 4:30pm to assess the situation. She determined that Lily was 4-5 centimeters and definitely going to have the baby sooner than later. I was proud of her, she had worked hard all day so it was nice to hear that it was paying off. She and Robert went into the shower and did some good work. She was breathing and making beautiful labor sounds. The midwife and I let them do their thing. After the shower, Lily walked a bit more and then decided it was time to get into the tub.

Her contractions were picking up. She was powerful – taking each contraction as it came – talking to her baby, asking him gently to come down so that she could meet him. Robert anticipated the arrival of his son. We all comforted Lily, letting her know she was doing exactly what she needed to. A few times I reminded her of her affirmation: “I can handle anything that comes my way.” That seemed to help her get back into her body and focus on what she was doing.

At 8:20pm, Charles Timothy was born in the bath tub. He seemed so content right away, relaxing in his mommy’s arms – staring into her eyes. Mommy and daddy inspected their son and were in awe of the miracle that just took place in their very own home. It was truly an honor to be a part of something so natural yet so extraordinary.

James’ Birth - September 7, 2010

“the secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
-buddha

James’ Birth ~ September 7, 2010

Dear James:

On the day you were born, your mommy and daddy’s world was changed forever.
That morning when your labor began, it was happening much quicker than expected. Your mommy and daddy didn’t know what to think! Was this what they had been planning? Not exactly, but they did exactly what they needed to do. They stayed calm, and found comfort in each other. When they called me, they said your mommy’s contractions were getting increasingly stronger, longer and closer together. Active labor didn’t last a very long time – only about 6 hours. Your mommy was overwhelmed by the intensity of it all. The “birth plan” was not exactly in effect. When your mommy and daddy arrived at the hospital, the staff was amazed! Your strong mommy was already in transition! She allowed herself to work with you to get your ready for the world.

But then, when you were ready, something bigger than any of us stepped in and decided you needed to be born in your own way. All of your mommy’s hard work prepared you for your entrance into this world. And though it was not exactly how we’d had it planned, you were here and safe. Your mommy recovered quickly, while your daddy gazed into your eyes with joy. Shortly after delivery, you landed in your mommy’s arms, right where wanted to be.

We learned a great lesson from you that day: birth, just like life, is unpredictable. But you are here and we are grateful for that. Welcome to the world!

Monday, September 6, 2010 - LABOR DAY!

Monday, September 6, 2010 ~ LABOR DAY!

Dearest Ben:

I had the pleasure of meeting your mommy at a yoga studio where she had been practicing yoga throughout her pregnancy with you. She and your daddy invited me to your birth and of course, I agreed. We met, talked, and planned. But nothing could prepare mommy and daddy for the special day on which you made your grand entrance into this world.

On September 4, 2010 (the Saturday before you were born), your mommy called me to tell me that her/your amniotic fluid level was too high and that the midwife and doctor wanted to start an induction that evening. She had hoped she wouldn’t need to be induced because she really wanted to labor at home for a while to help keep herself, you and daddy comfortable for early labor. But she was also very excited to meet you, so she agreed to go in. That night she and your daddy went in to the hospital and started the induction. Very quickly we learned that you can’t plan everything. That night you all tried to rest but it was a rough night.

I arrived the next day (Sunday, September 5th) around 1:30 p.m. to find you and your mommy laboring quite well, with daddy right beside. They updated me on everything and it seemed to be going as good as it could be. You were strong; your heartbeat was perfect – even the nurses were impressed! Early labor came and went as your mom and dad ate, walked the labor and delivery floor and rested when they were tired. Your daddy supported mommy through each contraction. I could tell that they both hoped you would make your entrance sooner than later! Your mommy managed her contractions nicely, breathing in and out, deep and gently.

Finally it was time for mom to get some relief, by getting into the birthing tub where she hoped you would be born. But when her water broke, there was some meconium that alerted the midwife that something about this labor may be stressful for you. That changed the water birth plan very fast. Your mommy stayed cool and calm, making the most of each contraction. She was strong – and so were you and daddy! The 3 of you on a team and doing a great job together.

Active labor went on and on and mommy needed a little relief and rest so she opted for an epidural. But the epidural didn’t seem to bring her what she needed – all she needed you, in her arms! Still, mom and dad stayed really strong. And you did too, continuing on with that steady heartbeat. It was 28 hours or so since your induction began, and boy were you just taking your time. After a few more hours, you were ready to start your entrance. Mommy started by easing you down. She worked very hard at pushing you down and out for a few hours. This was another tough stage. Little did we know it was because of your size, presentation, and position!

Finally, after many hours of labor and pushing, you arrived! You came with your arm right next to your head, as to say “Hooray, I’m here!” Mom and Dad were sure glad you made it into their loving arms safe and sound. All ten of us in the delivery room were stunned at how big you looked! Mommy, Daddy looked at each other in amazement while your Aunt Sarah stood by and smiled, obviously proud of all of the hard work.
You were handsome right from the start! Dad went with you to the warmer while Mom got cleaned up. After about 15 minutes, you landed right where you wanted to be – on your mommy, with your daddy right over her shoulder, watching and protecting the two of you. What a beautiful labor day!

you are super woman!

When I met Nicole for the first time at our doula talk at Full Circle Family Care, I got feeling that her ideas and visualizations for her birth were strong and real. When we discussed positions for birth, she explained how she couldn’t wrap her head around birthing in the flat-on-your-back position. After all, she is a veterinarian and sees animals giving birth in only positions and environments that feel natural and most comfortable. So I wasn’t surprised when during our pre-natal chat she expressed her desire to have her baby in the most natural way possible.

When Nicole began contracting at 36 weeks, her midwife told her to rest and try to take it easy. Nicole explained to me in an email “I believe my body was just letting me know I needed to slow the pace and take a break, as I feel so much better now.” So wonderful that she was able to listen to her body and relax. Her contractions subsided and baby stayed comfortable inside her mommy.

At 38 weeks, Nicole called me at 1:30am on Sunday night to let me know her water had broken but she was not yet contracting. Her plan was to chill out and try to get some sleep before things picked up. But her baby was on a mission! At 3:30am Nicole called me again and explained that her contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and getting much stronger. It was a quick conversation because she was going to the hospital so we just agreed to meet there. When I arrived at the hospital at 4:15am, I entered the peaceful room where Nicole was laboring quietly and calmly, with her husband and midwife by her side. She was 7cm dilated and moving very quickly. She was doing a beautiful job managing her strong, frequent contractions. About a half hour later, Nicole got into the Jacuzzi tub. Her urge to push came fast and soon enough, she was 10cm and ready to start. The midwife told her that she might want to reach down and feel baby’s head and when she did, tears of joy and love came to her. It was a beautiful, emotional moment to witness. She was moving her baby down in a very nice, calm, natural way. It seemed as though she knew exactly what she was doing. It was very clear that she was in touch with her body and baby, and that they were all working together. With each contraction, she pushed a little bit more, resting and relaxing during contractions with a supportive team by her side.

In just over an hour, she birthed her baby. Watching Nicole reach down and grab her baby and exclaim “mi amore!” so passionately was truly incredible. Anna Victoria was born, weighing 6 pounds, 14 ounces, into the loving arms of her mommy and midwife with daddy by their side. The love that filled the room was moving. She and her husband embraced one another and rejoiced in happiness and awe. I had the chance to snap a few photos of their first few moments as a new family – what precious moments they are.

Baby nursed very nicely and was content as she was just where needed to be - cuddling skin-to-skin with her mommy, falling in love. As the room was cleaned up and cleared out, the air was filled with such energy and peace at the same time. There is something about birth that just changes you...and changes the energy of the world. It is a true gift to experience it time after time.

One of my favorite parts of the birth was at the end when the midwife told mom "you are super woman!" and all mom said was..."I know."

Birth Made Simple

The fact of the matter is that birth is SIMPLE. It really is. With all of our modern technology, we have forgotten how simple birth can be. Our culture has created this fear centered perspective on birth. BUT there are ways to undo this fear. Educating yourself about the birth process is the first step. Changing the way you see birth can make a huge difference in your own pregnancy, labor and delivery. Helping yourself see birth from the perspective that it is a normal, natural, beautiful process can even help your labor and delivery go more smoothly. After all, your brain is one of the most important and useful parts of your body during birth.

BIRTH MADE SIMPLE

-Birth is NORMAL, NATURAL, and a true miracle
-Women (and many other mammals) have been giving birth vaginally forever
-You and your baby are made to birth
-Surrounding yourself with people who also believe you are a strong woman who can birth will help keep a positive attitude
-Connect with your baby; Pregnancy and birth are a team effort, you and your baby are both contributing to the process
-If you can create a beautiful being in your body, you can do anything
-Create a comfortable setting for birth, your body will be able to do what is it meant to do when you are in a safe, supported environment
-Support during labor is key: your partner, mother, sister, friend, doula, or anyone who believes in you will help keep you feeling safe and strong
-Eat, drink, use the bathroom during labor
-Use your body: moving around during labor will do wonders for progress
-Stay off your back unless it is the most comfortable position for you and baby
-Listen to your body - it knows what you need and what it's doing
-When things in labor change: work with it - stay in control of your mind

Educating yourself about how to make labor go as smooth and natural as possible will contribute to a positive birth experience. Pregnancy and birth is a miracle, and something we are LUCKY to have the opportunity to go through. It is not a burden, it is not scary, it is a blessing. Make it YOURS!

"NATURAL was the theme of the pregnancy"

By Julia M.

I always knew I would be a mother. Thinking back, I notice that I have spent much of my life following my mama around, wanting to be just like her. When my mom had her fifth, and last child, I was 14 years old. You might say that the new addition to the family was good birth control for a teenage girl. But her presence was also incredibly inspiring to me. I didn't know I could love someone so much, and dreamed of someday having a baby of my own.
About five years later, I fell in love with a wonderful man, who would soon become my husband. We shared a love of natural living and organic food that became even more important to us when we learned I was pregnant. NATURAL was the theme of the pregnancy - we were sure we did not want to proceed in any other way. We found the perfect group of midwives at a hospital in Cambridge, MA, and did not look back. We sought advice from the amazing yoginis, doulas and conscious mothers in our lives. I was sure that we had been blessed with a boy, but we decided not to learn the sex of the baby before his/her birth. The pregnancy was normal and healthy, but of course, often overwhelming. All in all, I felt like my body was a sacred temple for a beautiful new life. We could not wait to meet the soul which had chosen to be our baby.

I was due on November 28th. By the end of October, I felt that I was carrying the baby very low. My appetite slowed, and my energy soared. I felt joyful anticipation each day. I was nesting. On November 8th, I was feeling a unique and powerful energy surging through my body. We had a busy Sunday, and I was a bit more talkative than usual. Then, at around 8:30 PM, I felt a small gush of fluid. We were home, and I walked into the bathroom, thinking that maybe it was my mucous plug. Within a minute, I was experiencing bigger and bigger gushes of fluid leave my body - my water broke. I grabbed a towel, and yelled for my husband. Our hearts raced as we called the midwives. We heard from a midwife named Julia that I had tested positive for Group B strep, and would need to come to the hospital to receive IV antibiotics. We were too excited to be bothered by the news, however we had planned to labor at home for as long as possible, and felt somewhat rushed. My husband packed the car while I sat on a towel, on our bed, and continued to feel my waters leaving my body. I was nervous, but ready to go.

Ten minutes after my water broke, my contractions began. As this was my first child, we were prepared for a lengthy labor, but my body had a different plan. After nine months of being told not to expect a "Hollywood movie labor," we got exactly that. By the time we reached the hospital, my contractions were 2 minutes apart, and quite intense. The hospital was full, and we were put in an overflow room to labor until a delivery room became available. I was already 4 cm dilated, and my contractions were coming fast and strong. I barely had a break between each, and the pain was almost unbearable. I labored mostly leaning forward in a standing position, and on all fours. I was incredibly sensitive, refusing any kind of touch or sound offered (too bad for my husband who was prepared to support me through each contraction - I wouldn't let him near me). There in the overflow room, midwife Julia checked my cervix to find that I was almost fully dilated. I had made it through transition, and was preparing to push. I was sort of squatting when the pushing began, but the baby's head was not coming down. I did not want to deliver on my back, but after midwife Julia noticed that the baby's head was not able to pass my pubic bone in a squatting position, I laid back and was able to push the baby down. It was just after 1:00AM and I was struggling to push at all. Between each push, I felt I needed to fall asleep. But soon I was told to reach down and feel my baby's head. I could feel a hairy little crown, and got a boost of energy to finish the job. With a few more pushes, my boy was out. He was immediately placed on my body. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. It was completely surreal. John weighed 7lb 11oz. He nursed well right away. I loved my birth experience with a midwife, and will absolutely seek the same care in the future.
The only unfortunate issue I had physically, was that I had been given 2 stitches which came apart. The day after the birth, I received many more stitches to repair the damage, and I was not entirely numbed for the procedure. Ouch! After having John, I experienced intense "baby blues." The weeks following his birth were manageable otherwise, but extremely difficult emotionally. As my stitches healed, and I was able to get outside to walk, my mood lifted. I began to enjoy my new baby and our love grew exponentially.

Taking Charge of Giving Birth

Taking Charge of Giving Birth is a story written by a Hypnobirthing instructor I know. It's her amazing birth story. Click here to go to her website, which gives a link to the story. It's a MUST READ for ALL women!

Gisele's Birth in the news

This article is about Gisele's home, water birth and how she describes it as an amazing empowering experience. It "made headlines for its reported lack of pain." Interesting...

Read it here

Even though there are many amazing, empowering, homebirths, the celeb ones are usually the only ones that make the news. At least its good press about birth!

Happy Birthday Gloria!

My most recent birth was an interesting one. I met Charice when she was 37 weeks pregnant after her doctor suggested that she might be interested in having a doula at her birth. Myself and a fellow doula went to her house to meet with her. We met her and her lovely husband and had a wonderful talk about what it means to have a doula and how we might be able to help her get the birth she wanted. Problem was, she didn't really know what type of birth she wanted. Together we gave her a mini childbirth education lesson and by the end of the visit, she seemed more confident in her birth plans, and excited about the thought of giving birth with a doula by her side. My doula partner and I agreed to work with her and went on our way.

A couple of weeks later, Charice started having contractions. My partner, Silvie, went to her house to help her through the early labor contractions. Silvie said Charice managed them very well which was very good news considering one of her biggest concerns was that she would have an anxiety attack during labor because she was very prone to anxiety. Her contractions started and stopped and ended up being a case of a false alarm. When her due date came and went, the doctor said he would have to induce Charice a week after her estimated due date. That day came and I was on-call. So I met Charice and her husband at the hospital 16 hours after they started her induction.

At this point, Charice had been induced with cervidil (a synthetic prostaglandin tampon inserted to help soften and hopefully dilate the cervix), a folly catheter, and pitocin. Her contractions were about 4 minutes apart and she was handling them beautifully, breathing deep and staying calm. I encouraged her to continue doing this as it seemed to be working for her. She was 1 cm dilated, a slow start to a long labor. I stayed by her side, helping her to remember what she was doing and that she would soon get to meet her baby. Every single person who walked in the room said "have you gotten your epidural yet?" and she just shook her head and kept breathing. At one point, one of the doctors tried so hard to convince her to get an epidural, he said "You know, these contractions are NOTHING, you just wait and you will see how painful it is. I don't know why you're doing this without pain medication." Charice just told him that she was doing fine and kept trucking. I was so proud of her for sticking up for herself! Charice's husband supported her decision to try to go as long as she could without an epidural and held her hand through the intense contractions.

15 hours later, Charice was only 4 cm and not feeling great. She hadn't slept since the induction began and was just exhausted from managing the tough pitocin contractions. The doctors were being patient but things weren't looking like they were going to change. They finally convinced her to get an epidural, hoping that she would get some rest. 30 minutes after the epidural was placed, she had an exam which helped the doctors determine that Charice's baby was presenting ear first, which meant C-section.

A half hour later, Charice's baby girl was born, weighing 6 pounds, 1 ounce. Charice was overjoyed to finally meet her daughter. The new family fell in love right away and are doing great. Charice said she was a bit disappointed that her birth ended in C-section but happy to have a healthy baby. Doctors promised her that a VBAC for her next baby would be a possibility, and I think that put Charice at ease.

Always a learning experience...

Does birth change us?

I am really lucky to be living with my wonderful mother for many reasons. One reason is because we've had the chance to sit around and talk about all sorts of issues and topics, including birth. She is my biggest cheerleader when it comes to my doulaing and I love that I can talk to her and tell her just about everything! She always listens, supports and gives me great feedback.

Birth has been an ongoing discussion of ours since I moved home in January 2009 and started working on learning everything I can about birth. One of the best things I've learned are the details of my own birth, and those of my sister and brothers. I feel so lucky to have heard all about my mom's experience because I think it is an important talk to have, one that many women do not have with their mothers.

So recently my mom and I were reflecting on our birth dicussions and realized how we most likely never would have had these in depth conversations if I hadn't become a doula and learned about birth the way that I have. This is when we realized: why don't we have these discussions more? Why is birth not talked about more amongst women??

Sex, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and mothering are all things we MUST discuss in order to feel comfortable with the fact that they are all an extremely important part of human nature. We cannot deny that our experiences during sex, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and mothering change us as women.

My mom has pointed out that these intense discussions have also made her realize how much her pregnancies and births changed her as a woman and person. She said that after she had my sister (her first baby), a friend came up to her and said "something about you has changed since you had a baby..." and now she knows more specifically what that change was. She has explained how empowering pregnancy and childbirth were for her. She was ready to be a mother when she got pregnant and therefore accepted her pregnancy as a blessing from a higher power. She cherished her growing fetus and even kept a detailed journal of the entire pregnancy. My mom said that she didn't even need to do research or much thinking to decide that she wanted a natural, un-medicated birth. "Why wouldn't I want to do it naturally?" is how is she explains her thinking. I am fascintated by her strength. She had a wonderful pregnancy, birth and experience breastfeeding. That was the beginning of her new life as a mother. It's beautiful! She, a 25 year old woman, could find her natural mothering instincts and make the best of them. I feel blessed to have a mother who has cared to share her experiences with me. Hearing her stories give me strength and hope that we can all take advantage of the extraordinary gift we are given - to give life!

If you can, talk to your mother about her experiences as a woman. If you can't, talk to other women.

New cousin!

My cousin had her first baby - a baby boy - yesterday at 1:42am. When I talked to her today, she sounded very happy and of course, tired. She said she was very pleased with the way things went - a speedy 5 hour labor and delivery - with minimal intervention and wonderful support from her husband and midwives. Congratulations Julia and Matt - welcome baby John! I am so happy for you guys!

chilling with my 6 month old friend

Seeing a baby being born is an amazing gift. When I have the opportunity to see them grow, I am filled with joy and amazement. Mom, Mary, has been so great about keeping in touch with me and has given me the chance to become her friend and we've gotten together several times since Ben's birth. I feel a special bond with Mary and Ben and am glad to be a part of their life and want them to know how special they are to me!

A Birth Story

By K.F.

As I am writing the memories of that special day come back to me when my first born was finally handed to me. After having lost my first child due to a miscarriage I was extremely excited but also nervous about this delivery. I will say that I was unprepared for what was to come that day. My Mom, being very old-fashioned, did not exactly explain what was or could happen to me. I was only twenty two years old at the time and my husband was a policeman in the Bronx. He was at work when I went into labor and unfortunately in Court when we tried to contact him. My parents ended up having to take me to the hospital. I must also say that I was, by this time, a little more than two weeks overdue and very big. After getting to the hospital and being examined by my doctor he said he was giving me something to relax me but in actuality it was something to slow down my contractions so that he would be able to go to his office for his office hours.

Well it backfired on me, making me very ill. I began throwing up and feeling miserable. My poor husband arrived and I ended up getting sick all over him. He was a trooper even though neither of us knew what to do or really what was happening. When my doctor finally returned to the hospital he examined me and now wanted to speed things up. Well, my baby had other plans; he was lying sideways and therefore not ready to be delivered. While in the delivery room, the staff hooked me up to the vacuum, not a very nice feeling. I remember sitting at the edge of the delivery table, in excruciating pain, with no pain medication, and trying to help push him out. The doctor also had to use forceps which were extremely painful. I truthfully thought I was going to die. One of the people, and there were many since it was a teaching hospital, was lying across my stomach trying to help. I later found out she also was a doctor, a little more compassionate than my own doctor.

By the time I finally delivered, I had been in labor for a total of about 35 hours. I was all torn up needing many stitches. Our son, William, was born weighing in at 9 lbs. 8 oz. and was pretty marked up. I was initially very concerned since they did not bring him to me for 1 1/2 days but later found out they were very concerned about me. I was not able to get out of bed for the first two days because of the terrible tear and the many stitches. I really do not think I could have stood up on my own anyway. Billy, as we called him, came out of it miraculously well except for some bruising and the marks from the forceps. We were all grateful for the outcome. As I healed I decided not to return to the same doctor since he put me through such hell. He actually did not even step inside my room after Billy was born. I was seen by my roommate’s doctor who was very concerned about me having heard from other doctors what had gone on. I felt it was like a big “show” when I was delivering. There were so many interns and other doctors watching on and I guess learning.

After I healed and time passed I decided I wanted another baby only to find out I was going to have problems. When the delivery doctor stitched me he sewed me all wrong which resulted in a couple of surgeries. Well seven and a half years later I finally had another baby, a girl, with absolutely no problems. I feel my doctors who delivered and saw me all through my ordeal, after Billy and throughout my pregnancy, understood me and helped me to have a smooth delivery. It lasted only twenty minutes, start to finish. I feel with the right care anyone should be able to have a beautiful pregnancy and delivery.

Birthing Fans

Sean’s Birth
June 3, 2009
4:13pm
7 pounds, 14 ounces

From the day Stephanie and I met, I felt we had a great connection. She and I chatted for over an hour and a half about everything from her pregnancy to my doula background to her boyfriends’ life in the US Army. It was a great conversation and when she told me that she wanted me to be her doula, I was excited. We met a few more times over the next three months. Her biggest concern about the birth was that was she very nervous about the pain. I assured her that things would be okay, and that she would never have to be alone during her labor. I promised her emotional support along with some secret doula pain relief strategies.

So when she called me the night she went into labor, I was happy to hear she was at home, contracting steadily and ready for me to come over. When I arrived, Stephanie seemed to be handling the contractions very well. She was calm, relaxed and quiet. During contractions she took deep breaths and I tried to remind her of what her body was doing. She asked me if we should go to the hospital yet or not and I told her that it was ultimately up to her but that we could try to stay at home a little longer as I had just gotten there. We broke up the time into 30 minute intervals. I kept saying, okay, lets just see if we can stay for another 30. That only lasted about 90 minutes. Stephanie said “Okay, I think I’m ready to go.” Since her contractions were every 2 minutes, I knew she was really getting there, making progress.

When Stephanie, her mother, grandmother, and I arrived at the hospital, Stephanie went right into triage. Her mother, grandmother and I waited in the waiting area for over an hour before we found out what was going on back there! They allowed me into triage after the doctor announced that Stephanie was already dilated 7cm. We were all very happy but when I saw Stephanie, she seemed to be in different kind of pain than before. This is when I had to tell her after each contraction that she was almost there and that she was doing beautifully! She didn’t believe me and just asked for some relief. I gave her some ice and tried to relax her with a light massage during contractions. When we finally got into the L&D room 6, she asked for an epidural. When the anesthesiologist came, Stephanie looked relieved. By this time it was 11am and although she was 8 centimeters and was nearing the end of her labor, she felt an epidural would allow her to relax so she could rest before the pushing. It took a while for the anesthesiologist to place the epidural correctly and Stephanie was a real trooper through the whole thing. I was able to stay in the room while this was going on, my first time seeing an epidural placed, and I was so impressed by how calm she was, even during contractions!

By 2:30, she was ready to start pushing. The birthing team, or I guess I should say the birthing fans were geared up and ready to cheer Stephanie on. Between me, the female resident, Stephanie’s mom and grandma, we made a rather strong sound during the final stages of Stephanie’s pushing. Perhaps it was because we felt such energy and excitement from watching a miracle happen before our eyes, or maybe it was the way we instinctively felt Stephanie needed to be supported. Whatever it was, it felt like a true womanhood moment. The two male doctors in the room kept looking at one another like as if to say “yikes”, but managed to keep smiling. When it got a a little too loud the head doctor to give us a “shh.” At 4:13pm on June 3, 2009, Stephanie gave birth to her beautiful baby boy, Sean. He was absolutely stunning. Mom looked shocked and in awe when she laid eyes on her son. To witness the birth of a 4th generation was an amazing thing. Stephanie did a fabulous job and seemed to be feeling good a couple of hours after delivery. I gave them all hugs and well wishes and was on my way.

A Big One

Justin’s Birth
June 1, 2009
2:59am
10 pounds, 8.4 ounces
22 ¼ inches

When Katie’s sister, Jo, called me at 11:30pm she told me that Katie’s water had just broken and that they were going to relax because her contractions had not started yet. I told her to call me if things changed. The phone rang again at 1:30am but this time it was Katie. All she said was “can you come over and show me some breathing techniques because the pain is getting bad.” I said yes and got going. I arrived at her house around 2:15am. She was visibly uncomfortable but still chit-chatty so as to seem that she was managing her pain very well. Her sister and mom were asleep. I helped her breath through her contractions as they came, every 4 or 5 minutes. She changed positions every half hour or so and that seemed to help. We went for a walk, she took a hot shower, we ate breakfast and before we knew it, it was 8am. We managed to stay home until 11:30am. If the doctor hadn’t requested that we come in, Katie could have definitely labored at home for a while longer. But since her water broke 12 hours prior, the doctor felt we should come in.

When we arrived at the hospital, it took a while for Katie to get checked out. I noticed how much the hospital atmosphere changed the vibe of Katie and her labor. She seemed a little more scared and anxious to have her baby. When they checked her at 1:30pm, she was 4 centimeters dilated. I could tell this disappointed Katie because she had been in labor for more than 12 hours and was hoping that she was 6 or 7 by now. I tried to reassure her, letting her know that we would labor at the hospital until the job was done. She got an epidural a few hours later to relieve her discomfort and hopefully get some sleep. Katie’s labor might have lasted two days but unfortunately she acquired a fever and her baby’s heart rate was going up. The doctors tried some Tylenol and although Katie was 7 centimeters at 2:30am, 26 hours after her water broke, the doctors agreed that a C-section was the only option. She seemed disappointed but she put in a very good effort, and I was so proud of her. It can be hard to go through such a long labor in a hospital setting.

So, her 10 pound, 8.4 ounce baby boy was born at 2:59am on June 1st. When the doctor came to tell us in the waiting room, we were stunned at the size of this guy! Her Dad said “oh he is definitely going to be a football player!” The doctor had a few pictures to show us so that was exciting. When I saw Katie in recovery a few minutes later, she looked okay but was fast asleep. After all that hard work, how wouldn’t be tired? She needed to rest.

I left around 4am, got home at 5am, and crashed…

A Baby Story

Allison’s Birth
May 21, 2009
9 pounds, 3 ounces

After driving back from the Hamptons, I finally arrived at the hospital where Lindsay had recently been induced. It was obvious from the moment I arrived that Lindsay’s mother was there for more than just her granddaughter’s grand entrance. The two of them were definitely in a rhythm. Her mom was doing all the right things. It was nice to see the way Lindsay and her mother worked together. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my place in this birth would be to take a step back and let Lindsay do her thing with her mom and husband, William, by her side and her supportive father in the waiting room, checking in from time to time. This was truly a “mothering the mother” situation and I wasn’t about to interrupt their beautiful dance.

Lindsay labored for about 21 hours and did a great job managing her pain the entire time. She took deep yogic breaths and seemed very focused on what she was doing. When she got an epidural, she seemed to get some relief but it wore off pretty quickly. The anesthesiologist gave her a top off or two. When she was ready to push, everyone on her birthing team was excited. William, Lindsay’s mother, father and I all cheered her on. She pushed for a little over an hour and delivered her entire baby in one last push at 11:00am. It was an emotional welcoming as Lindsay and William were obviously overcome with joy to meet their little girl. I teared up as I watched them embrace one another with hugs of happiness after they told Lindsay’s mom that the baby would be named after her. I felt like I was watching a movie but it was far from a movie – it was so so real.