Maggie's Birth Story: My Second Marathon

I've written a lot of birth stories, but this one is my own. It's my account of my experience of the marathon of a labor and birth of my baby girl, Margaret Eva.

Saturday, December 5th

The contractions, which had previously been just Braxton Hicks, seemed to be coming more regularly and getting more and more consistent. I got excited. Don and I were at a beautiful Puja ceremony which seemed like a perfect way to start my labor journey. But later that evening, things slowed down. That night, I snuggled up with Don and slept a solid 6 hours. Since I hadn't been sleeping well in the week leading up to this point, this solid stretch of sleep ended up being a life saver later on.

Sunday, December 6th

When I woke up Sunday morning, contractions started almost immediately. They were 3 minutes apart and I noticed quickly they felt different, stronger and they happened in more of a consistent pattern. I felt this was finally the real thing! Don and I ran a few errands, took Piney to the park, made birthday cupcakes for baby, and enjoyed early labor. We stayed in touch with our doula and midwife all day. We agreed to meet the midwife at 7pm at the hospital to check in and see what was happening. As we were leaving for the hospital, I felt I was leaving too soon, but didn't listen to my instincts. I let my curiosity get the best of me and off to the hospital we went.

I was 3 cm and 80% effaced when we arrived. Even though I knew this was probably our fate, I was disappointed. We thought we would just go home but unfortunately I had a high blood pressure reading and was medically advised to stay. We set up shop in the labor room. My mom came to join us. My best friend and her husband came to bring us some dinner and their love & encouragement which lifted our spirits up. Labor continued as we walked the hallways, used the birth ball for different positions and I continued to try to relax.

Monday, December 7th

Our doula came around 2am. We were happy to see her, knowing she could help support our efforts of getting things moving. Side note: My doula was someone who I took my doula training with in 2008. I ran into her a couple of years ago and after a brief chat, I told her that when I get pregnant, I'd love to have her as my doula. And here we were.

As we continued to labor through the night, the cx were getting stronger. At around 6:30am, the midwife checked me and announced I was still 3cm. After laboring for 24 hours, I was only 3cm. I thought HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?! I completely lost it. I sobbed like a baby in Don's arms. So many self-doubting thoughts raced through my head: "My labor isn't progressing?!?!" "Why is this happening to me?" "Yes of course, this WOULD happen to me!" "Just give me a C-section because that's how these type of labors end!!" "Okay, just get a C-section and be fine with it"

After my necessary meltdown and much encouragement from my birth team, I was ready to just keep trucking on, to try to keep the labor going. But, by 3pm things seemed to be slowing down, and almost completely stopped. At this point, my doula and midwife pulled out all their tricks: nipple stimulation with the breast pump, acupuncture, even an enema which I completely resisted (it wasn't that bad). When the midwife checked me again at around 5pm, I was 5cm. Yay! It's working! She offered to break my water at that point too, which I was open to. When she broke my water, I felt SUCH relief from the constant feeling of extreme tightness I felt in my belly for the past month. Turns out I had a LOT of amniotic fluid in there.

After that, the contractions got way more intense and when the midwife checked me a few hours later, I was still 5cm! My body was messing with me. Come on! How?? I thought. The midwife suggested I labor in a specific position for a while, because there was something stopping my cervix from opening. So I labored in a modified hands and knees position for about an hour. Things were really picking up. She checked me at 9:30pm and low and behold, I was 6-7 cm! TUB TIME! Finally!! This came at the perfect time, I was starting to feel that soon I would be unable to cope if I couldn't get in the tub because the cx were so intense and I was utterly exhausted and sick of hearing discouraging cervical progress reports.

The team packed our bags and moved over to the birthing center. I couldn't get in that tub quick enough. When I got in, I immediately felt a sense of relief and relaxation although I am sure it didn't sound that way. I was moaning so loudly, like an animal in the wild. It was the only way I could cope and everyone in the room kept saying "good.." "that's it".

I started to push around 11:30pm, and I remember everyone saying "this baby is going to be born right on her due date!" which was the next day, December 8th.

Tuesday, December 8th

Pushing felt great. It felt right and gave me relief. I pushed for an hour before I was told that baby had too many heart rate decels, and that I needed to get out of the tub. At that point, I didn't care, I just wanted to meet my baby! I got in the bed right next to the tub and spent the next hour pushing her out with lots of encouragement (and NO COUNTING!) from my team. Her head was born with her little hand right next to it. The rest of her was born at 1:26am and she was placed directly on my chest. Sweet, sweet relief. The best. Everything I pictured - a perfect little baby at the end of the marathon. She was placed face down, so we couldn't see if she was a boy or girl. Frankly, neither Don nor I cared. We didn't even look at first. Finally after a few minutes, they flipped her over so Don could take a look. It took him a few seconds to announce it because he was in shock at what he didn't find (he was sure it was a boy the whole pregnancy). It was a girl! A beautiful, perfect daughter.

My mom sobbed happy tears, and Don and I just looked at each other in disbelief. Margaret Eva was here, we were elated. It was the most joyful moment of my life.

Maggie's birth taught me many things. Going in, I thought I had a great plan: trust my body, and it will all work out. Turns out that wasn't that far from the truth. But actually trusting my body was the hard part. Luckily I had the most amazing, supportive team at my side, to help me get through the hard parts when self doubt and fear crept in.

The lessons I learned from Maggie's birth continue to arise as I process different moments from the entire labor. It was truly an eye-opening experience in so many ways. I had witnessed 40 childbirths before my own. Each one helped me prepare but nothing could have prepared me fully. Birth is a unique experience each woman goes through each time she bears a child. My journey was what I needed and nothing more. It was perfectly imperfect and has made me appreciate the process of pregnancy and birth as a right of passage into motherhood more than I already had.

I Heart My Perineum

a great post about efforts to maintain an intact perineum during birth

10 Tips for “Labor Day”

How to achieve the labor & delivery you imagine
By Healthy Moms Happy Babies

1. Labor at home as long as possible

Hospitals often impose informal time limits for labor & delivery. They may want to introduce interventions to speed labor along if they feel that you’re not progressing quickquickly enough. Once one intervention has been made, it’s that much easier for more to happen. Avoid the cascade effect and stay home until your contractions follow the 4-1-1 or 5-1-1 rule (contractions occurring every 4 or 5 minutes that are one minute long over the course of one hour). You’ll be more comfortable at home!

2. Eat, drink, & rest in early labor as much as you can

Keep your strength up by taking care of yourself in the early stages of labor. Often the excitement of everything will cause you to want to make calls, clean the house, pack your bags, etc… Resist the urge to expel unnecessary energy so you can be strong through the whole event. Eat, drink, and rest as much as possible. Think marathon, not sprint!

3. Change positions often to find comfort

Standing, sitting, laying, hands-and-knees, and squatting are all viable ways to labor (and deliver). The birth ball can be a great tool to sit on, or lean on – from a standing or kneeling position. Try different positions and follow your body’s rhythm to know when to change things up.

4. Walk to make some progress

Let gravity do some of the work! Walking in between contractions can be a great way to further move the baby downward into the birth canal. If you aren’t able to walk far, try making figure 8’s with the hips or marching in place.

5. Tell your doula, or birth partner, how they can help you

Doulas come prepared with an array of massage techniques and position suggestions that they can offer. In addition, they can get you water, food, chapstick, heating pad, or whatever you need. They are also great sources of emotional support and encouragement. Communicate your needs and let others help you.

6. Use the shower or bath to relax

The warm water will soothe your body and you can use the sprayer to target any spots (like the low back) that are painful and/or uncomfortable. While baths in early labor can slow things down, they are very effective in late labor to relax the urogenital muscles

7. Go to the bathroom often

If you are drinking often, you’ll need to pee often and believe it or not, urinating is a great way to relax the muscles of the pelvic floor. Sit down and stay awhile. Maybe even turn around and lean on the back of the toilet to get comfortable.

8. Use your breath effectively

Breathing is an effective way to lower stress levels and keep your awareness on the present moment. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. With every exhale, open your jaw slightly and let go of your pelvic floor. Making sighing sounds or any other sound will only enhance the effect of the breath.

9. Take your time when making decisions

There are lots of decisions to be made during labor and delivery and it can be a confusing and disorienting time. If you are unsure about the options that are being put in front of you, ask for a few minutes to discuss it with your partner or support team. Take a deep breath, and weigh your options.

10. Think positively

Keep your attitude elevated and avoid letting negativity cloud your mind. Know that all of your efforts are working even if they don’t show in your degree of dilation right away (there are more ways than dilation to make progress). Know from deep within yourself that you are capable of giving birth – it’s what your body was made to do!

"Imagine if you sent your kids to the local swimming pool on ten different days in the summer. If your child was given complete CPR, oxygen, and a drug injection on nine out of the ten days he went there because the Lifeguard “thought” he was drowning, and he wasn’t, you’d get pretty upset. The fact that normal, healthy young women walk into the hospital to have a baby, and 90% of them came out looking like they’ve had major trauma, is ridiculous."
- Gloria Lemay

Birth Trauma

Warning: This video is graphic

http://vimeo.com/5695045

Bonding

In my doula world, mother baby bonding is very frequently talked about and discussed. But I think it is still am important topic to discuss with everyone, not only with moms, doulas, midwives, doctors and other birth professionals.

When a mother fully bonds with her baby during pregnancy, she will gain a better understanding of what actually takes place during labor and birth and why it is important to be an active participant as much as she is able. To trust the natural process of birth, we must understand how strong a connection mother and baby have. Together, they know how to birth. When mom and baby are connected, mom has a strong intuitive knowledge of her body and her baby and what they are doing during labor. This can greatly effect her birth experience. She be able to make decisions for herself and her baby and will own her birth.

This bonding lasts forever, not just during pregnancy and birth. Mom and baby bonding lasts a lifetime and has a significant effect on both lives forever. If everyone could understand how important this bond is, there would be more respect and support for women, women's bodies, pregnancy, the natural birth process, babies, breastfeeding and parenting. After all, they are all naturally linked.

Here is another blogger post about bonding: The bond between mother and baby

going past your "due date"

There has been a lot of debate about how long a provider will "allow" the mom to stay pregnant. Fact of the matter is, every woman, every baby is different. For the same reason some babies come at 38 weeks, some might need to stay in their first home for 42 weeks.

It is very common for mom to be impatient and feel as if she has been and will be pregnant forever. But really, no one will be pregnant forever. Try to cherish your final days of being pregnant. Use this time to relax, sleep, and pamper yourself. Get a massage, go for a walk, read a book and if you are having trouble sleeping, drink a nice warm mug full of chamomile tea before bed time. Snuggle with and make love to your partner. Stay positive and open. Your baby WILL be born soon!

If you are thinking about induction because you are sick of being pregnant, consider the following:
-Being induced is a medical procedure
-As soon as your induced with prostaglandins or synthetic oxytocin (aka Pitocin), you are going to be monitored closely which means you will be at the hospital, with machines dictating your status and progress
-Research has shown that induction increases your chances of have a C-Section

Unless there is a REAL medical reason to be induced, try to avoid it. If your doctor suggests induction, ask why. Do your research and follow the BRAN model of intervention by asking:

-What are the BENEFITS
-What are the RISKS
-What are the ALTERNATIVES
-What if we do NOTHING

"You go to the moon when you're at a birth"

I attended a Labor Doula workshop a couple days ago and one of the things the teacher, Judith Halek, said really stuck in my head. She said "You go to the moon when you're at a birth...if you don't know and feel that, you shouldn't be attending births." If only everyone who attends birth (moms, dads, sisters, OBs, midwives, nurses, doulas) could see it as this sacred life changing experience, maybe they would treat themselves, women, and babies with more compassion.

Part of my job as a doula is to teach both men and women about the miracle of childbirth so that they and their partners can achieve their goals for the birth of their baby with a supportive team by their side. It is possible to have a safe, happy, AND healthy birth!

A Joyful Birth Video

Some people may think doulas aren't unnecessary, but in today's society, there is a major lack of support for pregnant, laboring and new mothers. Doulas can provide this very important support to help make your experience the best it can be. Every woman deserves that.

Read an article about how doulas can provide this lost support.

Birth Made Simple

The fact of the matter is that birth is SIMPLE. It really is. With all of our modern technology, we have forgotten how simple birth can be. Our culture has created this fear centered perspective on birth. BUT there are ways to undo this fear. Educating yourself about the birth process is the first step. Changing the way you see birth can make a huge difference in your own pregnancy, labor and delivery. Helping yourself see birth from the perspective that it is a normal, natural, beautiful process can even help your labor and delivery go more smoothly. After all, your brain is one of the most important and useful parts of your body during birth.

BIRTH MADE SIMPLE

-Birth is NORMAL, NATURAL, and a true miracle
-Women (and many other mammals) have been giving birth vaginally forever
-You and your baby are made to birth
-Surrounding yourself with people who also believe you are a strong woman who can birth will help keep a positive attitude
-Connect with your baby; Pregnancy and birth are a team effort, you and your baby are both contributing to the process
-If you can create a beautiful being in your body, you can do anything
-Create a comfortable setting for birth, your body will be able to do what is it meant to do when you are in a safe, supported environment
-Support during labor is key: your partner, mother, sister, friend, doula, or anyone who believes in you will help keep you feeling safe and strong
-Eat, drink, use the bathroom during labor
-Use your body: moving around during labor will do wonders for progress
-Stay off your back unless it is the most comfortable position for you and baby
-Listen to your body - it knows what you need and what it's doing
-When things in labor change: work with it - stay in control of your mind

Educating yourself about how to make labor go as smooth and natural as possible will contribute to a positive birth experience. Pregnancy and birth is a miracle, and something we are LUCKY to have the opportunity to go through. It is not a burden, it is not scary, it is a blessing. Make it YOURS!

US Maternity Care in crisis

Many articles about the Amnesty report stating that US maternity care is poor compared to other developed countries. Intestesting seeing as how we are supposed to have the most access to the latest and greatest technology.

Two of the articles:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/12/amnesty-us-maternal-mortality-rates

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100312/hl_time/08599197163300

Delivery-Day Jitters?

"Delivery-Day Jitters? Let us put your mind at ease" - the headline on the cover of American Pregnancy magazine. I was disappointed at the way this magazine thinks they can ease your mind by addressing normal fears about labor and birth. The first fear was about pain. The woman quoted explains "I wanted an epidural when my pregnancy test came back positive." Fear? Yes. Informed? No. The ONLY way the magazine "eased" your mind was by talking about the epidural and how you shouldn't be worried that the epidural won't "work its magic" because the amazing-miracle-working doctor says "it's not a big deal to put in another one." Great.

As a doula, I'd ease delivery-day jitters by explaining where this pain comes from and provide natural suggestions for pain relief before jumping into an epidural. We must educate women so that they understand the importance of experiencing labor naturally for as long as they can. There is no need to be scared when you have support from all angles - family, partner, doula, nurse, midwife and doctor. Together we can all use our tricks to help women in labor.

Birth Controversy.....

Controversy

I guess its all about the choice. Be informed, make a choice.

Childbirth Simulator?

A friend sent me this link. You should check it out:

CLICK HERE