5 babies!

Birth Stories
by M.B.

My first pregnancy with JM went really well - I gained 45 pounds and I loved being pregnant! I was young and 3,000 miles away from my family, so I didn't get much guidance. The pregnancy was uneventful- I was happy and healthy. Unfortunately, my father in law died very suddenly when I was 8 mos. pregnant. We hadn't gone through any Lamaze yet and never did - so when my water broke a month later, (on Super Bowl Sunday) I was not prepared. I thought I could handle it but I was desperate for an epidural. Unfortunately, they gave it to me when I was 8 cm. and just beginning transition so it really made it difficult to push. I ended up pushing for 2 1/2 hrs. and was given an episiotomy from hole to hole! There was a mirror available so I got to watch the whole birth. It was amazing! JM weighed 8lbs. 1oz. The recovery was slow because of the many stitches and nursing was quite challenging, but overall it was a good experience.

My second pregnancy was just as good if not, better, because I knew what to expect and I was much more aware of my body. I truly loved being pregnant! The only issue that bothered me was pain at the tip of my pelvis. It felt like a constant bruising - I found out it was caused by friction where the pelvis bones meet. They separate briefly in order for the baby to pass through. I was trying to be more active during this pregnancy, but with activity, came the pelvic pain. Ann was born in a naval hospital about 40 minutes away so I was nervous about getting there in time. My experience at the naval hospital was quite different from the first hospital. First of all, I had a male nurse. I have to say, he was fabulous! He was very supportive and caring. Unfortunately, I was not in a private room so I was a bit self conscious during and after labor. I didn't have any drugs. I felt very much in control during labor. I only pushed for about half an hour and no episiotomy! Ann weighed 8 lbs. The down side to being in this facility was that I had to walk down and get my baby in the nursery when I wanted to nurse. She did not sleep with me in the ward. I even had a group of corpsman (navy medics) observe while the doctor put a catheter in me because I had trouble urinating! There is no such thing as humility during childbirth. Ann was a very healthy, alert baby who loved to nurse!

Pregnancy number three - again, I loved being pregnant! It was a little more challenging having two little ones to take care of but overall, I felt great. I remember rollerblading while pushing Ann in the stroller as I took JM to preschool. I had lots of energy and felt really good for the duration of the pregnancy. I was very nervous towards the end about leaving the other two children when I went to the hospital. I ended up being 11 days past my due date (middle of July in Southern California!) I had a neighbor who was signed up to watch them when it was time to go, but she was not available at the time of delivery. So, I had to take them to a day care center where no one knew them. I was sobbing as we dropped them off! I delivered at a private hospital but unfortunately, my doctor was not available to deliver my baby. His partner (I met once) delivered John without a hitch. Again, I had no meds and the pushing was bearable - no episiotomy either. John weighed 7lbs 15oz. I learned later that I burst quite a few blood vessels in my face and neck during pushing - it looked like I had the measles! My skin eventually returned to normal. John was a healthy, very calm baby. Another good nurser! One thing that got more painful after each pregnancy was when the uterus would contract to get back to its original size. Each time I nursed it would trigger the uterus to contract......It felt like labor all over again! My mother had warned me of this (she had 8 kids)! I literally had to breathe through the pain, so nursing was not always fun.

My fourth pregnancy was also uneventful......I felt good most of the time aside from the bruising pelvic pain. I really took care of myself, was active and busy with the other children. On the day of a scheduled appointment at the end of my pregnancy, I began labor very early in the morning. We waited to see the doctor for appt. and when seen, he informed me I was already 6 centimeters. We quickly walked over to the adjoining hospital. I was settled in minutes, and ended up pushing very briefly before my doctor barely made it in to deliver my daughter, Emily. She weighed 7lbs. 14oz. She was an enthusiastic nurser and sweet as can be! Again, the afterbirth contractions were quite painful but temporary. I geared up for life at home with 4 children under the age of 5........I didn't want to leave the hospital!

After a divorce and remarriage, I wanted to have another child with my new husband. I had a tubal ligation after my last baby, so I went back in for a tubal reversal. After a 4 hour operation, there was a 60% chance that I'd get pregnant. Well, they didn't call me "Fertile Myrtle" for nothing......I conceived right away but suffered a miscarriage. Thankfully, my next pregnancy was successful. I was 38 and felt a difference physically with this pregnancy but I was very healthy. I had taken up yoga prior to getting pregnant and continued all through the pregnancy. I was very active and really took care of myself. I felt great most of the time. When labor began I continued to go about my business, carpooling, helping with homework etc. I labored all though the night, put the kids on the bus and went to the hospital around 8:00 a.m. We walked the halls of Labor & Delivery, pausing for contractions, I rocked in a chair for a while too (that was soothing). I eventually asked for something for the pain but I can't remember if they even gave me anything. I pushed for about 1/2 an hour. I thought I was in good shape but the pushing took a lot out of me - I was exhausted in the end. Hope was my biggest baby at 9lbs. 2 oz. No episiotomy - I was thrilled! I bounced back pretty well - although I did suffer from postpartum depression for about 6 months. It was tough. She was a very stubborn nurser, I was very frustrated having to pump often - she only nursed for 3 weeks.

......And life goes on. My oldest daughter, Ann married in October and is now expecting! She is an extremely nurturing woman with a wealth of information. The thought of watching my daughter become a mother warms my heart!

Birth #5

I was in Montauk last week with my friend Liz who was in town for the week, when Tina called to say she was at the hospital and about to be induced because a test revealed low amniotic fluid. It was 10:30am. I drove home, going 70 the entire time, took the train into the city and arrived at the hospital - it was 3pm. I was there until noon the next day. Baby was born at 11:00am, Thursday, May 21, a hearty 9 pounds, 3 ounces after a long, hard labor. Mom worked so hard and did an amazing job. This is the 2nd baby out of only 5 to be born on a close friend's birthday...weird. More to come on this birth soon!

Postpartum visit with Loretta, Damien and Baby Raheem

Baby Raheem was doing beautifully when I saw him at our postpartum visit. He looks so different from the last time I saw him, a couple of weeks ago on his birthday. Mom, Loretta, is doing well and said she is busy with baby and looking forward to her trip to Jamaica for the summer. The family seems to be adjusting to life with baby and happy that their son is healthy and home after a 7 day stay in the hospital. I was delighted to meet with them. Mom let me hold little Raheem, which is always fun.

Birth #4

Theresa’s Birth
May 4, 2008
4:16 p.m.
7 pounds, 11 ounces

Theresa's birth was quick. The labor, however, was a different story. Catherine went into labor around 2am on Monday, May 4th. She called me, complaining of back pains. She didn't know what it was because with her previous two labors, her water had broken, and that was her queue to go to the hospital, the baby was on its way. This time, things started differently. When her back pain became unbearable, Catherine decided to go to the hospital. When I arrived, she was strolling the halls to manage her pain, which she was doing very well. I could tell that the contraction feeling was kicking in and she was definitely in labor. We went into her labor room to get settled. Catherine was visibly uncomfortable so I reminded her to focus on her breath, to keep it present and deep. Her partner, Ron, was very supportive and kept the room vibe in the room positive and fun, at least for me. He was cracking jokes, or perhaps just being himself. Either way, he was quite a character. Catherine chimed right on in. Their sense of humor seemed to help pass the time. Catherine’s initial thought was that this labor would be similar to her two previous labors, short and manageable. But, she dilated slowly, she thought. We tried many different positions and pain management resources including the use of a rebozo, massage, and rythmic breathing. Catherine's doctors decided to start her on pitocin after about 7 hours of labor and slow dilation. Her body responded well and her contractions came more frequent and regular. Prior to the pitocin, she received a small dose of morphine. Things were progressing as we continued to change her position and activity every hour or so. By 3:00, Catherine felt she was ready to push. The doctors encouraged her to wait until she felt a really strong urge because they knew it would be a quick second stage if she waited, being that it was her third baby. And that it was, Catherine pushed mightily 3 times and born was her baby, Theresa. It was so fast that the doctors didn't even have time to get the birth kit ready. I am pretty sure the doctors had never seen someone push quite like Catherine, she was a pro! Ron cheered Catherine on from behind the curtain, while Auntie Vai and I did so by her side. Everyone but Catherine was surprised when she pushed her baby out so quickly. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Theresa was born 7 pounds, 11 ounces, at 4:16 p.m. on May 4, 2008. What Catherine thought would be a short labor and delivery turned into a long labor, for her, and a very short delivery. She remained in good spirits through the entire journey, staying positive even when she felt impatient and frustrated. Baby Theresa was born perfectly healthy, bringing Mom and Dad smiles of bliss. It was an adventurous day, one that was filled with patience and perseverance and ended in a bundle joy.

Raheem's Birth

Raheem’s Birth
May 3, 2009
10:59am
7 pounds, 0 ounces

When I met with Loretta for the first time, I was very fond of her. She was a sweet Jamaican woman, pregnant with her first baby, and a little bit nervous about her upcoming labor and delivery. I assured her that we would labor at home for as long as possible, hoping that would progress her labor some before we arrived at the hospital. But, you can never be sure about the plan of action until the day actually comes. Loretta’s labor started a few days after her due date but seemed to keep slowing down and stalling over the course of about 3 days. And than, early Sunday morning, at about 3:30 a.m. she called me to say that they were going to the hospital because her contractions had picked up quite a bit. I was happy and excited and on my way. When I arrived, I was surprised when the nurse at the Labor and Delivery check in desk told me to wait in the waiting area until Loretta was out of the triage room. Okay, fine, I thought, at least she has her partner, Damien, with her. A few minutes later, Damien comes strolling off the elevator. Now I was a little confused and upset that Loretta was by herself. Damien went to the L&D desk and asked if he could go back there to be with Loretta. The same nurse replied, with the same answer. We waited patiently for a few minutes which turned into an hour. Finally, we were allowed to go see Loretta. She looked a little scared and was hooked up to monitors, IVs and an oxygen mask already. The doctor explained that there had been some meconium in her water when they were broken so they had to keep a close eye on her and her baby. We got settled and figured out ways to work with the machines to help her get through her contractions. She did an amazing job, breathing through each one, and taking them one at a time. Hours passed and she was slowly but surely dilating. Dr. Josephs was very supportive and allowed her to stand up, in hopes of making Loretta as comfortable as possible. By 9:00 a.m., Loretta was beginning to feel very uncomfortable so she decided to request an epidural. There was an emergency in the hospital so the anesthesiologist was unavailable. Loretta managed her pain beautifully, and I was very impressed with her goddess-like strength. Damien and I worked together to provide emotional support for Loretta as she progressed. Soon she reached 10 centimeters but still wanted an epidural. Dr. Josephs said that it might be a good idea because she would probably be pushing for a while.

When the head doctor came in to check to see if she would be a good candidate for an epidural at this point, she announced that Loretta would need to deliver her baby via C-section. We were all a bit shocked because there was no mention of this possibility up until this point. They explained that there were a few different factors stacked up against her, and did not think the baby would handle the pushing stage very well. I could tell Loretta was confused. All of that, for a C-section? I tried to reassure her, telling her she did well and the best she could. Damien seemed a little bit sad but realized that his baby’s health might be in jeopardy if he was not delivered soon. The next couple of hours were slow, as I waited for Loretta and Damien to come out of the operating room. Baby Raheem was born at 10:59 on Sunday, May 3rd. He was 7 pounds. I was able to see Loretta in recovery after her surgery. She seemed tired but happy that her baby was here. I gave her my best, and left, as she needed to rest up. Raheem was in the NICU, being monitored. I got the chance to go with Dad to visit him, which was very exciting and is usually not allowed in this hospital. I was grateful. He looked beautiful. It was a long journey but Mom, Dad and baby seemed to be happy, and healthy. I was happy and proud of Loretta for all of her hard work.

A Story

Unnamed

by A.K.

I found out that I was pregnant with the second one in October 2008. My parents happened to be visiting us in Honolulu, so I was thrilled to break that news when they landed. My partner and I were excited to have a sibling for Isato, our son, and everything felt right.

But one Friday as I was preparing to go to a meeting, I noticed that I was bleeding. First I thought nothing about it, but then started to freak out. In panic, I called my OB/GYN whom I just met for the first time several weeks before. She called back and told me casually that "well, there is nothing we can do about it. When it passes, you'll know" and told me to come on Monday if bleeding continues and then hang up. I was left to myself, trying to understand what she meant by "passing," and shuddered when realized that she meant a miscarriage. How could she be so unsympathetic?

I spent next two days not knowing what to do. Bleeding continued, and the slightest change in the amount of blood in the pad made me hopeful in one moment devastated in the next. I googled the web looking for information and tips, and found that 15-25 % of all pregnancies end up in what doctors call "spontaneous miscarriage." I could not believe how high the ratio was, and thought back about my oblivious carelessness during the first pregnancy when I did not even think about a possibility of losing the fetus I was carrying.

Monday, I called and demanded the appointment with the doctor. She squeezed me in and my partner and I were in the room by 8:30. She pulled out the ultrasound machined and looked for the heartbeat, but it was not there. My miscarriage was confirmed. She then went on to talk about three options of removing the "pregnancy." (1) wait until it naturally "passes," (2) surgery, and (3) off-the label use of pills. She did not recommend (1) and suggested (3) to which I simply nodded. But I decided to wait to take the pills until after I go home, as I was warned of possible side effects.

I had to teach a course two hours after that bad news. I am not sure how I lectured, but students seemed not to notice my swollen eyes, and I managed until the last 5 minutes of class. As I was showing a clip from a video to demonstrate some points I was making earlier, I felt a strong contraction in my lower abdomen. It brought back the memory of my first son's birth-- painful, but powerful urge that I had forgotten. After several seconds, I felt the gush between my legs.

I somehow managed to finish my lecture as if nothing happened, ran out of the classroom hoping that the pad was able to hold for a while. In a lavatory, I saw the tiny pink object on the pad. It was so small, shining like a creature from the sea. The doctor instructed me to put the "pregnancy" in the plastic container to bring it to the lab, so I put my little dead fetus in it.

After crying while in my office, I walked down the University Avenue to the lab with my container. The bright sunshine of Hawai'i made me even sadder and the walk felt terribly long. When I finally found the lab, I was glad that I was wearing sunglasses to hide behind it and simply wanted to get the business done without bursting into tears again in front of strangers. I wanted to do a minimum conversation, so I handed one of the receptionists the paper work from my doctor and the container in a brown bag. The woman took the form but then yelled "what is this? I don't understand this order form. What did your doctor say?" and summoned another woman in the office "can you read this? I don't understand..."

As I tried to utter the word "miscarriage,"another woman grabbed my brown bag from the other, opened it, took out the container, and (I swear she said this) "yikes! It's a baby!" At that point, I had no use of these insensitive people and ran out of the door crying.

After that incident, I dreamed about my pink fetus. I did not understand why I was able to leave it with those people. I wanted to bury it properly, and I regretted not thinking through what I was told by the doctor. At the next appointment I asked whether I could take it back, but the doctor did not think so. I needed some closure, a tangible evidence that it was there, even for a brief moment, for us. I took crayons, wrote the pink creature from the sea, and burnt with flowers in the back of our yard. The unknown lavender flowers were blooming and it felt like a perfect place for the fetus to rest.

I had told some of my students about my pregnancy, and hearing the news, Laura lent me a book by a midwife and one section of the book was about miscarriage. I was glad to see that among many stories of happy births in the book, miscarriage was given a space.

When I told people that I had a miscarriage, it was surprising how many said "oh you know, I did too." Miscarriage is an unspoken, yet a natural part of pregnancy. With baby magazines and advertisements emphasizing rosy and cheerful sides of childbirth, we do not have words to talk about it. Yet birth and death are together and inseparable. Life is sacred, yes, but fragile.

Now I am pregnant again. I approach this pregnancy with more acute awareness about possibility of going wrong and greater appreciation of normalcy. I am going to Japan in a week, and there I plan to visit a temple famous as the guardian for the unborn and aborted babies. My mother had gotten me a small jizo (small Buddha) after the miscarriage. The thought of my small one among thousands of cute jizos comforts me-- at least it is not alone. I will be praying for it and the safe arrival of the one that I am carrying.

Fear not; it is a miracle

Fear not; it is a miracle

by midwife Jan Tritten

Well written and so true!!!

Rebozo in action!

This shot was taken when I was using my newly purchased rebozo at my 4th and most recent birth. I love it! Thanks girl.

Postpartum visit with Mary, Tom and Baby Ben

Only a few hours after my 3rd birth, I had the chance to go visit the new mommy from my 2nd birth, Mary, her hubby, Tom and their little baby boy, Ben. I was extremely tired but had been excited to see this family so I went. The visit was wonderful. We caught up and also had a long chat about all of our memories of her birth (see Hearth Strength). It was really fun to see the family after they had a few weeks to adjust to their new life. Baby Ben is just adorable and seems like a content little guy.

Mom shared that she had positive memories of her birth, which was music to my ears. As her doula, it was nice to hear her speak of her birth experience in this way. We definitely bonded before her birth, but even more so during and after. I was so lucky to work with such a great couple who I hope to keep in touch with for many years to come.

Mommies love to meet their babies

In my recent poll I asked "What is the best part of pregnancy/childbirth" and the most popular answer was "meeting my baby". This part is my favorite, too, even though I myself have not been pregnant or given birth. I LOVE to see a new moms face when she sees her baby for the first time. Seeing a mom fall in love at first sight with her newborn after what can sometimes be a long, strenuous labor and delivery is for me, the ultimate reward of being a birth doula.

Welcome little baby!

A beautiful baby girl was born on Monday, May 4th at 4:16pm after her mother labored with confidence and efficiency for 14 hours. It was an adventurous day, to say the least. Daddy stayed close by, lending a soothing hand when it was needed. This couple kept the energy flowing the entire day, cracking jokes, chitchatting, and watching entertaining TV shows. The baby was born in perfect condition after only a few strong and hard pushes from her mommy. Congratulations Mama!

Deja vu?

Not deja vu...just another birth! Next day, same time, same hosptial, same doctor, two totally different experiences. This morning, around 3am, one of my clients called and said she was feeling some back pains but wasn't sure it they were just back pains or if it was early labor. When she started experiencing more intense pains, she went to the hospital and found out she was 3cm dilated and definitely in labor! Needless to say, I was on my way to the hospital yet again. I am too tired to write the whole birth story so stay tuned.

Birth #3

I attended my 3rd birth this morning. My client called at 4am and said she was heading to the hospital after 2 days of sporadic contractions. It was time! She did a fabulous job laboring the entire time without any pain meds whatsoever but unfortunately ended up with a C-section due to baby in distress. There was a lot of meconium present when he was delivered via C-section so everyone was grateful that he was born with only a few minor issues. He was transferred immediately to the NICU where he is now being watched closely to make sure his lungs are strong. The doctors are confident that he will be just fine. When I left them, Mom and Dad were tired but ecstatic about their baby boy.

Bellissimo!

"un bambino bellissimo"

(from a Gigantino after seeing this pic on facebook of me and baby Ben)

Heart Strength

Heart Strength
Ben's Birth
April 15, 2009
12:56 p.m.
7 lbs, 13 oz, 19 inches

When I woke up to a phone call at 2:20 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I thought it must be a wrong number or a call from a friend in Hawaii forgetting about the time difference. But, it was Tom King, one of my dads-to-be. I was immediately awake. He explained that Mary’s water had broken and that they would be heading to the hospital to be checked out. I put on my game face because I knew that it had the potential of becoming a long night/day. I had been excited about Mary and Tom’s birth since the day I met them. They seemed like such a great couple, excited about their labor and delivery, and to become parents. So when I talked to Tom early that morning, I told him to call me after they got settled at the hospital to let me know if it was really labor or not. But a few minutes after I hung up with him, I felt something telling me it might really be labor, and that I, too, should go to the hospital. I got ready and took off at 3 a.m. It was raining buckets and just nasty out so I took my time driving. When I arrived at Stamford Hospital at 3:50, Mary and Tom had just arrived. I met them in their room. They seemed excited about the possibility that this was it, and I shared their excitement. Nurse Jane came in and gave us the low down – no food, no water, no birth plan, no nothing. This was a little disconcerting but Mary and Tom remained calm and took the news as best as they could. Mary explained to the nurse that she and Tom were very open, and that these were more “birthing preferences” than a plan. Nurse Jane replied that she liked the term birthing preferences more than birth plan because in her experience, one can never plan a birth! We got comfortable because Mary’s contractions had begun to pick up and after the resident doctor checked her, she knew it was real labor.

Time passed fairly quickly, and Mary’s contractions came frequently and were increasingly stronger. Mary took deep breaths through each one and managed quite nicely. I watched Mary and Tom take one contraction at a time. It was a beautiful sight, to see the love, compassion and friendship that they share. All the while, their little baby’s mighty heart kept beating strong, on and on. At 7 a.m., it was time for shift change, and so we got a new nurse, Jen. She was very kind and seemed to bring a new positive light to the room. Mary took a shower with her supportive husband by her side, which seemed like a relaxing and helpful option for pain relief at that time. When the doctor checked Mary after the shower, she was 4 centimeters dilated and definitely on her way. She was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable and slightly weak. At that point, Mary decided to get an epidural because she felt it might bring her some relief and a chance to nap and hopefully re-fuel. Almost immediately after the epidural was in place, the doctor announced that Mary was already 6 centimeters! We all got excited, knowing that she was making such great progress. She remained strong, despite her feelings of sleepiness and nausea. The epidural brought on some relief, but that only lasted about an hour. Mary was still pretty uncomfortable so the doctor decided to check her again. He gave us the news that she was 10 centimeters dilated! We were all in shock! Mary seemed happy but very surprised that she went from 6 to 10 centimeters in only one hour, and pushing seemed like the furthest thing from her mind. We tried to encourage her, knowing that she could do it. Her baby was ready, and she just needed a little encouragement before she discovered that deep inner heart strength that would help her do what she was meant to.

It only took a few pushes for Mary to whip out her hidden power. It was unbelievably moving to see someone transform this way. Mary stunned everyone, including the nurses and doctors, with her might. She took advantage of every contraction, using them to move her baby down. Mary kept a positive attitude for the entire two hours that she pushed, which surely contributed to her efficiency. Tom cheered her on, every step of the way, making sure she knew how proud he was of her hard work to deliver their baby. At 12:56 p.m. on Wednesday, April 15, 2009, Mary gave a final push and delivered her son, Ben. Mary immediately embraced her baby boy, showering him with love and kisses. The feelings of love between Mary, Tom and little Ben radiated throughout the room. I had the chance to take some pictures, in an attempt to capture this truly beautiful moment. Ben stayed snuggled close against his mommy, and breastfed perfectly. Dad stood next to his wife, watching her cuddle with his son. These are the best moments in life. I could feel this new family’s heart strength.

Tom’s parents were waiting anxiously in the lobby, waiting to meet their first grandchild. When they came into the room, I saw their faces light up. They explained how amazing and unreal it was to have a grandson. Tom’s mom even said “I have been waiting for this moment since Thomas was born.” After they were settled, I left Tom, Mary, and Ben because it was time for them to bond and rest after a long night and day of hard work. I left feeling lucky to be a part of something as real as this birth.

Lord, Protect My Child

Lord, Protect My Child by Bob Dylan

For his age, he's wise
He's got his mother's eyes
There's gladness in his heart
He's young and he's wild
My only prayer is, if I can't be there,
Lord, protect my child

As his youth now unfolds
He is centuries old
Just to see him at play makes me smile
No matter what happens to me
No matter what my destiny
Lord, protect my child

While the world is asleep
You can look at it and weep
Few things you find are worthwhile
And though I don't ask for much
No material things to touch
Lord, protect my child

He's young and on fire
Full of hope and desire
In a world that's been raped, raped and defiled
If I fall along the way
And can't see another day
Lord, protect my child

There'll be a time I hear tell
When all will be well
When God and man will be reconciled
But until men lose their chains
And righteousness reigns
Lord, protect my child