Woman's Way is coming along!!
Our group is now offering birth doula services to women and families in Westchester and NYC. Please visit our website here.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Formula Fed America
A new documentary about the lack of breastfeeding in the United States. Click here check it out!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Does birth change us?
I am really lucky to be living with my wonderful mother for many reasons. One reason is because we've had the chance to sit around and talk about all sorts of issues and topics, including birth. She is my biggest cheerleader when it comes to my doulaing and I love that I can talk to her and tell her just about everything! She always listens, supports and gives me great feedback.
Birth has been an ongoing discussion of ours since I moved home in January 2009 and started working on learning everything I can about birth. One of the best things I've learned are the details of my own birth, and those of my sister and brothers. I feel so lucky to have heard all about my mom's experience because I think it is an important talk to have, one that many women do not have with their mothers.
So recently my mom and I were reflecting on our birth dicussions and realized how we most likely never would have had these in depth conversations if I hadn't become a doula and learned about birth the way that I have. This is when we realized: why don't we have these discussions more? Why is birth not talked about more amongst women??
Sex, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and mothering are all things we MUST discuss in order to feel comfortable with the fact that they are all an extremely important part of human nature. We cannot deny that our experiences during sex, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and mothering change us as women.
My mom has pointed out that these intense discussions have also made her realize how much her pregnancies and births changed her as a woman and person. She said that after she had my sister (her first baby), a friend came up to her and said "something about you has changed since you had a baby..." and now she knows more specifically what that change was. She has explained how empowering pregnancy and childbirth were for her. She was ready to be a mother when she got pregnant and therefore accepted her pregnancy as a blessing from a higher power. She cherished her growing fetus and even kept a detailed journal of the entire pregnancy. My mom said that she didn't even need to do research or much thinking to decide that she wanted a natural, un-medicated birth. "Why wouldn't I want to do it naturally?" is how is she explains her thinking. I am fascintated by her strength. She had a wonderful pregnancy, birth and experience breastfeeding. That was the beginning of her new life as a mother. It's beautiful! She, a 25 year old woman, could find her natural mothering instincts and make the best of them. I feel blessed to have a mother who has cared to share her experiences with me. Hearing her stories give me strength and hope that we can all take advantage of the extraordinary gift we are given - to give life!
If you can, talk to your mother about her experiences as a woman. If you can't, talk to other women.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
New cousin!
My cousin had her first baby - a baby boy - yesterday at 1:42am. When I talked to her today, she sounded very happy and of course, tired. She said she was very pleased with the way things went - a speedy 5 hour labor and delivery - with minimal intervention and wonderful support from her husband and midwives. Congratulations Julia and Matt - welcome baby John! I am so happy for you guys!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Running on empty
I was so not in the mood to work out yesterday but forced myself to go to spin class. 10 minutes in I was feeling tired and not in the mood because I was winded, exhausted and thinking about other things. One of the things I was thinking about was the new doula group and how I really hope we can attract clients and then it occurred to me..."I'M TIRED?? EXHAUSTED??" yeah...okay. After witnessing 7 amazing childbirths, how could I really think this way!? So I kept reminding myself of the strength my clients had before, during and after their births and suddenly wasn't tired at all. If I'm running on empty in spin class for unknown reasons, how could these women have the energy to deliver an infant? Oh...right. That was all it took. Pretty soon spin class was almost easy and flew by quickly. Thank you to every woman who has every given birth, you radiate strength and power!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
chilling with my 6 month old friend
Seeing a baby being born is an amazing gift. When I have the opportunity to see them grow, I am filled with joy and amazement. Mom, Mary, has been so great about keeping in touch with me and has given me the chance to become her friend and we've gotten together several times since Ben's birth. I feel a special bond with Mary and Ben and am glad to be a part of their life and want them to know how special they are to me!
The Business of Birthing
Click here to watch a video about the business birthing in the US. Sad but true.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi
Woman's Way Doula Group
We've started a doula group - Woman's Way Doula Group. I am super excited to get back into doula work after 5 months of not doing anything doula related! I miss helping women through this amazing time and have realized it is definitely a passion that is not going away. Check us out: Woman's Way Doula Group
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Quote
"All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of [subsidiarity]."
— Dr. Kloosterman, Dutch Obstetrician/Gynecologist
— Dr. Kloosterman, Dutch Obstetrician/Gynecologist
Monday, August 31, 2009
Laura Gigantino, CD(DONA)
Finally! I am a certified birth doula(DONA International)
I am so excited that my certification is complete. It took just over a year to finish my certification process and I couldn't be happier. The only sad thing is that I'm not practicing at the moment. Hopefully I will be practicing again soon!
Thank you to everyone who helped make this happen. Especially Celeste R., Aya K., Genelee and Cody S., The PATH Clinic of Honolulu, Tara, Mike and Dylan B., Annie R., Suzette L., Herbert and Akeem H., Dr. S. Hartman, Rina C., Uta M., and all of my family and friends for the support!
I am so excited that my certification is complete. It took just over a year to finish my certification process and I couldn't be happier. The only sad thing is that I'm not practicing at the moment. Hopefully I will be practicing again soon!
Thank you to everyone who helped make this happen. Especially Celeste R., Aya K., Genelee and Cody S., The PATH Clinic of Honolulu, Tara, Mike and Dylan B., Annie R., Suzette L., Herbert and Akeem H., Dr. S. Hartman, Rina C., Uta M., and all of my family and friends for the support!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Medicalization of Childbirth
Over the past 100 years, birth in the United States has changed drastically. Some argue that birthing today is better than ever because we are taking advantage of technological advances to make birth safer for women and babies. However, we must also examine and recognize the affect that these changes have on women and their birth experiences. Is our “improved” way of birthing really a change for the better? Feminist theory explores the many existing challenges American women face when they birth in the United States.
In the 1700s, 1800s and early 1900s, women all over the world gave birth at home. Although it was not exactly their choice to do so, women gave birth in their own homes, barns, sheds, and even on street corners with friends and family by their sides. One midwife, Martha Ballard, kept records of her experiences while attending births. She noted that of 814 births she attended from 1785 to 1812, no mothers died during childbirth, only 5 died in days after birth, 14 babies were stillborns, and 5 babies died shortly after birth (Chase & Rogers) This may seem like too many deaths but we must take into consideration the high likelihood of this midwife’s lack of medical training, and access to technology and equipment.
In the early 1900s, male doctors suddenly became a part of the womanly process of giving birth. It was seen as an improvement in one area of birth, as doctors provided a “safer” environment if anything were to go wrong. Along with this came the struggle for women to birth in their own ways, the ways they had been for so many years. The power was swiftly shifted from women to men.
One example of this power shift is birthing positions. For hundreds of years, women had birthed in any way they were comfortable, including squatting, sitting, laying, standing, and even on their hands and knees. As soon as men entered the delivery room, women were told to lay flat on their backs with their legs up and open. The flat on the back position of giving birth became standard. Women were ultimately brainwashed into thinking that this was the best and only way to birth. This new standard birth position often caused more pain for women and led to slower progression of the baby down the birth canal.
By the 1940’s hospitals became the hot spot for childbirth. Half of all births took place in a hospital because taking advantage of a clean, safe facility filled with doctors seemed like the most logical thing to do. However, often times, the doctors who were in charge of caring for laboring women were unfamiliar with the normalcy of live birth as they had little or no hands on experience taking care of women in labor and delivering babies. This resulted in very poor care for laboring women. By 1960, the hospital birth rate was almost 100%.
One major problem with this drastic shift from homebirth to hospital birth was the weeding out of midwives. In many other countries, when birth moved into the hospital, with the women went the midwives. However, this did not happen in the United States. Many doctors did not support the attendance of midwives at birth as it was often seen as unnecessary seeing as the doctor would be available when needed. To understand the problem with this, one must recognize the major difference in care provided by the two.
Lay midwives were women who attended birth to oversee the progression of the laboring woman and her baby. Although these women were not trained properly, medically speaking, they had perfected the effective ways to comfort a women giving birth by witnessing many births and hands on experience. A person who properly comforts a woman during labor and delivery can make all the difference in the outcome of a birth experience. This is what was lost when hospitals and male physicians became the main place and method of delivery.
Another result of medicalized birth is a high rate of intervention, which often times leads to more intervention and is usually unnecessary in the first place. Interventions such as twilight sleep (in the early 1900s), inductions, episiotomies and cesarean sections (C-sections) are some of the common happenings at hospitals. Normal, natural and usually perfectly healthy events such as slow progression of labor and trouble pushing the baby through the vagina are excuses frequently used by doctors to step in and intervene.
Many women in the 60s, 70s, and 80s lived through traumatizing events during their births. One woman shared her birth experience from 1972, “Upon arrival, I was taken to a small, barren room to be “prepped,” meaning my pubic hair was shaved and I was given an enema. I didn’t get a vote in this process; it was standard procedure for al laboring women…from this moment forward, I couldn’t leave the bed, sit, stand, roll over, or leave the room” (Seelhoff, 42). This type of practice is an example of birthing protocol in many hospitals during this time.
In the 1970s, after too many women went through experiences similar or equivalent to the latter, they joined forces and initiated the Women’s Health Movement and the Natural Childbirth Movement. Women began to take control of their bodies, and their births. Homebirth and midwives made a come back and birthing centers were established as an alternative to hospitals and provided a safe, comfortable, homelike place for women to give birth. Women attended each other’s births to provide emotional support and physical comfort for one another.
While a small percentage supported the Natural Childbirth Movement, the majority women stayed where they thought they belonged, in the hospital. The C-section rate was climbing and the quality of care of declining. By 1990, the C-section rate was 23.5% and many of these were elective. Many people began to see the C-section option as a safe alternative to going through the pains of childbirth. What many people did not realize was the amount of risks associated with an elective C-section, such as infection, injury to mother’s internal organs, heavy blood loss, a painful recovery and the recurrence of C-section. These risks are often hidden or kept “hush hush” to keep up the façade that hospitals and doctors are the safest best.
Today, we see the vast majority of women in America give birth in a hospital. Less than 1% of women give birth at home, and midwives attend only 8% of births. Feminist views of birth in the United States include the theory that birth has become medicalized and is illogically seen as risky. Within this theory is idea that women have lost control of power when it comes to giving birth since male doctors began attending birth in the early 1900s. Birth can be a natural, beautiful process if we let it be. Unfortunately for our women and babies, today this is not the norm.
Media is also very fond of portraying birth as a dangerous process, one that needs to be handled by doctors, and doctors only. We often see dramatic births on TV in shows like ER, and Grey’s Anatomy. This gives us a distorted view of the way birth really is. Another problem is the celebrity trends regarding birth. Many celebrity icons including Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie and Madonna have given birth via elective C-section and are very publicly honest about it. This has created the false thinking that an elective C-section is the best, safest, and pain free way to go. This is a major problem because it means more women surrendering power to their doctors and not taking initiative to make informed decisions about their births.
Many people believe there are no choices about giving birth. We have seen a lack of education among the American people about the benefits of using a midwife and/or having a homebirth. We do, however, see the hospital birth represented as the best way for every woman to give birth. Although many people do not know this, today midwives are medically trained to handle most instances in which something has gone wrong in the birthing process or with the baby or mother. The rare cases when something occurs that a midwife cannot handle are few and far between. When this does occur, midwives have a back up hospital and doctor available and can transfer the woman to ensure she has the best medical care.
The unfortunate truth is that birth in the United States has become extremely medicalized. We must see that it is very important for women to have the information that allows them to make the choices for how they want to give birth. It is a right that every woman deserves and through educational support, we can work toward providing these empowering choices for women in the United States.
In the 1700s, 1800s and early 1900s, women all over the world gave birth at home. Although it was not exactly their choice to do so, women gave birth in their own homes, barns, sheds, and even on street corners with friends and family by their sides. One midwife, Martha Ballard, kept records of her experiences while attending births. She noted that of 814 births she attended from 1785 to 1812, no mothers died during childbirth, only 5 died in days after birth, 14 babies were stillborns, and 5 babies died shortly after birth (Chase & Rogers) This may seem like too many deaths but we must take into consideration the high likelihood of this midwife’s lack of medical training, and access to technology and equipment.
In the early 1900s, male doctors suddenly became a part of the womanly process of giving birth. It was seen as an improvement in one area of birth, as doctors provided a “safer” environment if anything were to go wrong. Along with this came the struggle for women to birth in their own ways, the ways they had been for so many years. The power was swiftly shifted from women to men.
One example of this power shift is birthing positions. For hundreds of years, women had birthed in any way they were comfortable, including squatting, sitting, laying, standing, and even on their hands and knees. As soon as men entered the delivery room, women were told to lay flat on their backs with their legs up and open. The flat on the back position of giving birth became standard. Women were ultimately brainwashed into thinking that this was the best and only way to birth. This new standard birth position often caused more pain for women and led to slower progression of the baby down the birth canal.
By the 1940’s hospitals became the hot spot for childbirth. Half of all births took place in a hospital because taking advantage of a clean, safe facility filled with doctors seemed like the most logical thing to do. However, often times, the doctors who were in charge of caring for laboring women were unfamiliar with the normalcy of live birth as they had little or no hands on experience taking care of women in labor and delivering babies. This resulted in very poor care for laboring women. By 1960, the hospital birth rate was almost 100%.
One major problem with this drastic shift from homebirth to hospital birth was the weeding out of midwives. In many other countries, when birth moved into the hospital, with the women went the midwives. However, this did not happen in the United States. Many doctors did not support the attendance of midwives at birth as it was often seen as unnecessary seeing as the doctor would be available when needed. To understand the problem with this, one must recognize the major difference in care provided by the two.
Lay midwives were women who attended birth to oversee the progression of the laboring woman and her baby. Although these women were not trained properly, medically speaking, they had perfected the effective ways to comfort a women giving birth by witnessing many births and hands on experience. A person who properly comforts a woman during labor and delivery can make all the difference in the outcome of a birth experience. This is what was lost when hospitals and male physicians became the main place and method of delivery.
Another result of medicalized birth is a high rate of intervention, which often times leads to more intervention and is usually unnecessary in the first place. Interventions such as twilight sleep (in the early 1900s), inductions, episiotomies and cesarean sections (C-sections) are some of the common happenings at hospitals. Normal, natural and usually perfectly healthy events such as slow progression of labor and trouble pushing the baby through the vagina are excuses frequently used by doctors to step in and intervene.
Many women in the 60s, 70s, and 80s lived through traumatizing events during their births. One woman shared her birth experience from 1972, “Upon arrival, I was taken to a small, barren room to be “prepped,” meaning my pubic hair was shaved and I was given an enema. I didn’t get a vote in this process; it was standard procedure for al laboring women…from this moment forward, I couldn’t leave the bed, sit, stand, roll over, or leave the room” (Seelhoff, 42). This type of practice is an example of birthing protocol in many hospitals during this time.
In the 1970s, after too many women went through experiences similar or equivalent to the latter, they joined forces and initiated the Women’s Health Movement and the Natural Childbirth Movement. Women began to take control of their bodies, and their births. Homebirth and midwives made a come back and birthing centers were established as an alternative to hospitals and provided a safe, comfortable, homelike place for women to give birth. Women attended each other’s births to provide emotional support and physical comfort for one another.
While a small percentage supported the Natural Childbirth Movement, the majority women stayed where they thought they belonged, in the hospital. The C-section rate was climbing and the quality of care of declining. By 1990, the C-section rate was 23.5% and many of these were elective. Many people began to see the C-section option as a safe alternative to going through the pains of childbirth. What many people did not realize was the amount of risks associated with an elective C-section, such as infection, injury to mother’s internal organs, heavy blood loss, a painful recovery and the recurrence of C-section. These risks are often hidden or kept “hush hush” to keep up the façade that hospitals and doctors are the safest best.
Today, we see the vast majority of women in America give birth in a hospital. Less than 1% of women give birth at home, and midwives attend only 8% of births. Feminist views of birth in the United States include the theory that birth has become medicalized and is illogically seen as risky. Within this theory is idea that women have lost control of power when it comes to giving birth since male doctors began attending birth in the early 1900s. Birth can be a natural, beautiful process if we let it be. Unfortunately for our women and babies, today this is not the norm.
Media is also very fond of portraying birth as a dangerous process, one that needs to be handled by doctors, and doctors only. We often see dramatic births on TV in shows like ER, and Grey’s Anatomy. This gives us a distorted view of the way birth really is. Another problem is the celebrity trends regarding birth. Many celebrity icons including Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie and Madonna have given birth via elective C-section and are very publicly honest about it. This has created the false thinking that an elective C-section is the best, safest, and pain free way to go. This is a major problem because it means more women surrendering power to their doctors and not taking initiative to make informed decisions about their births.
Many people believe there are no choices about giving birth. We have seen a lack of education among the American people about the benefits of using a midwife and/or having a homebirth. We do, however, see the hospital birth represented as the best way for every woman to give birth. Although many people do not know this, today midwives are medically trained to handle most instances in which something has gone wrong in the birthing process or with the baby or mother. The rare cases when something occurs that a midwife cannot handle are few and far between. When this does occur, midwives have a back up hospital and doctor available and can transfer the woman to ensure she has the best medical care.
The unfortunate truth is that birth in the United States has become extremely medicalized. We must see that it is very important for women to have the information that allows them to make the choices for how they want to give birth. It is a right that every woman deserves and through educational support, we can work toward providing these empowering choices for women in the United States.
The Purpose and Value of (Labor) Support
The Purpose and Value of (Labor) Support
Often times the littlest things can have the biggest impact. Emotional, physical and educational labor support is something that is too frequently overlooked and sometimes even seen as unnecessary. However, doulas, and most childbirth educators, midwives, nurses, and obstetricians know that effective labor support can make the difference between an ordinary birth experience and one that is extraordinary and often times empowering and life-changing for the mother and father. In my work as a birth doula I have had the opportunity to see the tremendous benefit that this type of support provides women and families.
The only thing I have to compare birth to is my small (relatively speaking) accomplishment on December 20, 2008. Although it is not exactly comparable, I feel that this experience could not have been completed without the amazing support that I received and for that reason, I feel it was similar to the journey of childbirth.
When I decided to run the Honolulu Marathon I was excited, but definitely nervous. I knew I could do it but was scared nonetheless of the long 26.2 mile journey ahead of me. Before I began my training, I knew I needed to find a reliable, supportive, and determined team to train with. I found a friend, Abby, who had run a marathon before and asked her if she wanted to be my training partner. She agreed and so the preparing began. Another friend, Jen, joined in the beginning stages of our training program even though she wasn’t planning on running in the big race. A few weeks into it, we managed to convince Jen to sign up and officially join our training team. Training was a journey in and of itself. We spent countless hours together, running around the city of Honolulu, hoping it would pay off. Some days I was completely unmotivated to run but my two partners kept me positive and enthusiastic. A week before the big day, we set out of our longest and second to last run. It was tough but exhilarating and got me excited for the marathon.
The morning of the marathon, I woke up at 3 am. Feelings of excitement came over me, as I realized it was the day I had been waiting and training for. I also felt scared and uncertain about what the next 7 or 10 hours might bring. When my boyfriend and I got into the car to head to the marathon start line, I started to get really nervous and had butterflies flying about my stomach. When we arrived at Jen’s house, she and Abby got into the car. I immediately felt a sense of comfort and relief, knowing that these two strong ladies would be there to accompany me on my 26.2 mile run. I was entering an unfamiliar world, one that I was beginning to wish I had never signed up for, until I saw their smiling faces.
When we arrived at the starting line I felt ready, even though I was still a little anxious. Abby looked at Jen and I and said “don’t worry, you can do it”. That was all I needed to hear. When the gun went off, we took off. Within minutes, Abby was gone, as she was a much stronger racer than both Jen and I. We stayed together for almost 14 miles, encouraging one another and keeping the energy between us strong and positive. After I lost Jen, I had a hard time. I hit “the wall” and I was all alone. My legs were burning and I was just plain tired of running. Just when I was on the brink of giving up, I found comfort in the faces and words of the locals who sat outside their homes on this rainy Honolulu morning just to cheer us on. The support made all the difference. I finished after 5 hours with a smile on my face even though my body was in pain. When I found Jen after the race, we hugged and congratulated each other on our big accomplishment.
When I began my training as a birth doula, I realized that the value of labor support is very necessary and actually quite invaluable, similar to the support I received when I was training and racing. When a pregnant or laboring woman has the unconditional support of another individual who has the passion and energy for the remarkable journey and process of pregnancy and childbirth, she feels safer and has more confidence in herself. When she has this confidence, she can find the inner strength to complete her amazing task of giving birth, whichever way is most satisfying for her. As long as we are there, to provide her with she needs and wants, whether it is a cool cloth, a back or foot rub, or just some kind words of encouragement, she will feel that she has been cared for. Too often these little but significant details are overlooked and not seen as an important part of caring for women in labor. We, as doulas, know better. We know the value of continuous, unconditional (labor) support.
Often times the littlest things can have the biggest impact. Emotional, physical and educational labor support is something that is too frequently overlooked and sometimes even seen as unnecessary. However, doulas, and most childbirth educators, midwives, nurses, and obstetricians know that effective labor support can make the difference between an ordinary birth experience and one that is extraordinary and often times empowering and life-changing for the mother and father. In my work as a birth doula I have had the opportunity to see the tremendous benefit that this type of support provides women and families.
The only thing I have to compare birth to is my small (relatively speaking) accomplishment on December 20, 2008. Although it is not exactly comparable, I feel that this experience could not have been completed without the amazing support that I received and for that reason, I feel it was similar to the journey of childbirth.
When I decided to run the Honolulu Marathon I was excited, but definitely nervous. I knew I could do it but was scared nonetheless of the long 26.2 mile journey ahead of me. Before I began my training, I knew I needed to find a reliable, supportive, and determined team to train with. I found a friend, Abby, who had run a marathon before and asked her if she wanted to be my training partner. She agreed and so the preparing began. Another friend, Jen, joined in the beginning stages of our training program even though she wasn’t planning on running in the big race. A few weeks into it, we managed to convince Jen to sign up and officially join our training team. Training was a journey in and of itself. We spent countless hours together, running around the city of Honolulu, hoping it would pay off. Some days I was completely unmotivated to run but my two partners kept me positive and enthusiastic. A week before the big day, we set out of our longest and second to last run. It was tough but exhilarating and got me excited for the marathon.
The morning of the marathon, I woke up at 3 am. Feelings of excitement came over me, as I realized it was the day I had been waiting and training for. I also felt scared and uncertain about what the next 7 or 10 hours might bring. When my boyfriend and I got into the car to head to the marathon start line, I started to get really nervous and had butterflies flying about my stomach. When we arrived at Jen’s house, she and Abby got into the car. I immediately felt a sense of comfort and relief, knowing that these two strong ladies would be there to accompany me on my 26.2 mile run. I was entering an unfamiliar world, one that I was beginning to wish I had never signed up for, until I saw their smiling faces.
When we arrived at the starting line I felt ready, even though I was still a little anxious. Abby looked at Jen and I and said “don’t worry, you can do it”. That was all I needed to hear. When the gun went off, we took off. Within minutes, Abby was gone, as she was a much stronger racer than both Jen and I. We stayed together for almost 14 miles, encouraging one another and keeping the energy between us strong and positive. After I lost Jen, I had a hard time. I hit “the wall” and I was all alone. My legs were burning and I was just plain tired of running. Just when I was on the brink of giving up, I found comfort in the faces and words of the locals who sat outside their homes on this rainy Honolulu morning just to cheer us on. The support made all the difference. I finished after 5 hours with a smile on my face even though my body was in pain. When I found Jen after the race, we hugged and congratulated each other on our big accomplishment.
When I began my training as a birth doula, I realized that the value of labor support is very necessary and actually quite invaluable, similar to the support I received when I was training and racing. When a pregnant or laboring woman has the unconditional support of another individual who has the passion and energy for the remarkable journey and process of pregnancy and childbirth, she feels safer and has more confidence in herself. When she has this confidence, she can find the inner strength to complete her amazing task of giving birth, whichever way is most satisfying for her. As long as we are there, to provide her with she needs and wants, whether it is a cool cloth, a back or foot rub, or just some kind words of encouragement, she will feel that she has been cared for. Too often these little but significant details are overlooked and not seen as an important part of caring for women in labor. We, as doulas, know better. We know the value of continuous, unconditional (labor) support.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
doula-ing on hold
Unfortunately, I have made the decision to put doula-ing on hold as I have accepted a job at a property management company in CT. I'm excited about the job but very sad to be taking a break from doing what I love - supporting women and families through labor and delivery. I hope to pick it up again soon...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Postpartum visit with Stephanie and Sean
I had a wonderful visit with new mom Stephanie and her baby boy, Sean. We chatted for over two hours about her birth and just life. I held baby Sean and mom seemed to be doing very well. When I got there, I parked in a spot that I would have to move my car in 1 hour 45 mins because I thought I would be leaving by then but time just flew by because we were chit-chatting away. It was fun and so good to see Stephanie and her son.
Friday, June 26, 2009
A Birth Story
By K.F.
As I am writing the memories of that special day come back to me when my first born was finally handed to me. After having lost my first child due to a miscarriage I was extremely excited but also nervous about this delivery. I will say that I was unprepared for what was to come that day. My Mom, being very old-fashioned, did not exactly explain what was or could happen to me. I was only twenty two years old at the time and my husband was a policeman in the Bronx. He was at work when I went into labor and unfortunately in Court when we tried to contact him. My parents ended up having to take me to the hospital. I must also say that I was, by this time, a little more than two weeks overdue and very big. After getting to the hospital and being examined by my doctor he said he was giving me something to relax me but in actuality it was something to slow down my contractions so that he would be able to go to his office for his office hours.
Well it backfired on me, making me very ill. I began throwing up and feeling miserable. My poor husband arrived and I ended up getting sick all over him. He was a trooper even though neither of us knew what to do or really what was happening. When my doctor finally returned to the hospital he examined me and now wanted to speed things up. Well, my baby had other plans; he was lying sideways and therefore not ready to be delivered. While in the delivery room, the staff hooked me up to the vacuum, not a very nice feeling. I remember sitting at the edge of the delivery table, in excruciating pain, with no pain medication, and trying to help push him out. The doctor also had to use forceps which were extremely painful. I truthfully thought I was going to die. One of the people, and there were many since it was a teaching hospital, was lying across my stomach trying to help. I later found out she also was a doctor, a little more compassionate than my own doctor.
By the time I finally delivered, I had been in labor for a total of about 35 hours. I was all torn up needing many stitches. Our son, William, was born weighing in at 9 lbs. 8 oz. and was pretty marked up. I was initially very concerned since they did not bring him to me for 1 1/2 days but later found out they were very concerned about me. I was not able to get out of bed for the first two days because of the terrible tear and the many stitches. I really do not think I could have stood up on my own anyway. Billy, as we called him, came out of it miraculously well except for some bruising and the marks from the forceps. We were all grateful for the outcome. As I healed I decided not to return to the same doctor since he put me through such hell. He actually did not even step inside my room after Billy was born. I was seen by my roommate’s doctor who was very concerned about me having heard from other doctors what had gone on. I felt it was like a big “show” when I was delivering. There were so many interns and other doctors watching on and I guess learning.
After I healed and time passed I decided I wanted another baby only to find out I was going to have problems. When the delivery doctor stitched me he sewed me all wrong which resulted in a couple of surgeries. Well seven and a half years later I finally had another baby, a girl, with absolutely no problems. I feel my doctors who delivered and saw me all through my ordeal, after Billy and throughout my pregnancy, understood me and helped me to have a smooth delivery. It lasted only twenty minutes, start to finish. I feel with the right care anyone should be able to have a beautiful pregnancy and delivery.
As I am writing the memories of that special day come back to me when my first born was finally handed to me. After having lost my first child due to a miscarriage I was extremely excited but also nervous about this delivery. I will say that I was unprepared for what was to come that day. My Mom, being very old-fashioned, did not exactly explain what was or could happen to me. I was only twenty two years old at the time and my husband was a policeman in the Bronx. He was at work when I went into labor and unfortunately in Court when we tried to contact him. My parents ended up having to take me to the hospital. I must also say that I was, by this time, a little more than two weeks overdue and very big. After getting to the hospital and being examined by my doctor he said he was giving me something to relax me but in actuality it was something to slow down my contractions so that he would be able to go to his office for his office hours.
Well it backfired on me, making me very ill. I began throwing up and feeling miserable. My poor husband arrived and I ended up getting sick all over him. He was a trooper even though neither of us knew what to do or really what was happening. When my doctor finally returned to the hospital he examined me and now wanted to speed things up. Well, my baby had other plans; he was lying sideways and therefore not ready to be delivered. While in the delivery room, the staff hooked me up to the vacuum, not a very nice feeling. I remember sitting at the edge of the delivery table, in excruciating pain, with no pain medication, and trying to help push him out. The doctor also had to use forceps which were extremely painful. I truthfully thought I was going to die. One of the people, and there were many since it was a teaching hospital, was lying across my stomach trying to help. I later found out she also was a doctor, a little more compassionate than my own doctor.
By the time I finally delivered, I had been in labor for a total of about 35 hours. I was all torn up needing many stitches. Our son, William, was born weighing in at 9 lbs. 8 oz. and was pretty marked up. I was initially very concerned since they did not bring him to me for 1 1/2 days but later found out they were very concerned about me. I was not able to get out of bed for the first two days because of the terrible tear and the many stitches. I really do not think I could have stood up on my own anyway. Billy, as we called him, came out of it miraculously well except for some bruising and the marks from the forceps. We were all grateful for the outcome. As I healed I decided not to return to the same doctor since he put me through such hell. He actually did not even step inside my room after Billy was born. I was seen by my roommate’s doctor who was very concerned about me having heard from other doctors what had gone on. I felt it was like a big “show” when I was delivering. There were so many interns and other doctors watching on and I guess learning.
After I healed and time passed I decided I wanted another baby only to find out I was going to have problems. When the delivery doctor stitched me he sewed me all wrong which resulted in a couple of surgeries. Well seven and a half years later I finally had another baby, a girl, with absolutely no problems. I feel my doctors who delivered and saw me all through my ordeal, after Billy and throughout my pregnancy, understood me and helped me to have a smooth delivery. It lasted only twenty minutes, start to finish. I feel with the right care anyone should be able to have a beautiful pregnancy and delivery.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Birthing Fans
Sean’s Birth
June 3, 2009
4:13pm
7 pounds, 14 ounces
From the day Stephanie and I met, I felt we had a great connection. She and I chatted for over an hour and a half about everything from her pregnancy to my doula background to her boyfriends’ life in the US Army. It was a great conversation and when she told me that she wanted me to be her doula, I was excited. We met a few more times over the next three months. Her biggest concern about the birth was that was she very nervous about the pain. I assured her that things would be okay, and that she would never have to be alone during her labor. I promised her emotional support along with some secret doula pain relief strategies.
So when she called me the night she went into labor, I was happy to hear she was at home, contracting steadily and ready for me to come over. When I arrived, Stephanie seemed to be handling the contractions very well. She was calm, relaxed and quiet. During contractions she took deep breaths and I tried to remind her of what her body was doing. She asked me if we should go to the hospital yet or not and I told her that it was ultimately up to her but that we could try to stay at home a little longer as I had just gotten there. We broke up the time into 30 minute intervals. I kept saying, okay, lets just see if we can stay for another 30. That only lasted about 90 minutes. Stephanie said “Okay, I think I’m ready to go.” Since her contractions were every 2 minutes, I knew she was really getting there, making progress.
When Stephanie, her mother, grandmother, and I arrived at the hospital, Stephanie went right into triage. Her mother, grandmother and I waited in the waiting area for over an hour before we found out what was going on back there! They allowed me into triage after the doctor announced that Stephanie was already dilated 7cm. We were all very happy but when I saw Stephanie, she seemed to be in different kind of pain than before. This is when I had to tell her after each contraction that she was almost there and that she was doing beautifully! She didn’t believe me and just asked for some relief. I gave her some ice and tried to relax her with a light massage during contractions. When we finally got into the L&D room 6, she asked for an epidural. When the anesthesiologist came, Stephanie looked relieved. By this time it was 11am and although she was 8 centimeters and was nearing the end of her labor, she felt an epidural would allow her to relax so she could rest before the pushing. It took a while for the anesthesiologist to place the epidural correctly and Stephanie was a real trooper through the whole thing. I was able to stay in the room while this was going on, my first time seeing an epidural placed, and I was so impressed by how calm she was, even during contractions!
By 2:30, she was ready to start pushing. The birthing team, or I guess I should say the birthing fans were geared up and ready to cheer Stephanie on. Between me, the female resident, Stephanie’s mom and grandma, we made a rather strong sound during the final stages of Stephanie’s pushing. Perhaps it was because we felt such energy and excitement from watching a miracle happen before our eyes, or
maybe it was the way we instinctively felt Stephanie needed to be supported. Whatever it was, it felt like a true womanhood moment. The two male doctors in the room kept looking at one another like as if to say “yikes”, but managed to keep smiling. When it got a a little too loud the head doctor to give us a “shh.” At 4:13pm on June 3, 2009, Stephanie gave birth to her beautiful baby boy, Sean. He was absolutely stunning. Mom looked shocked and in awe when she laid eyes on her son. To witness the birth of a 4th generation was an amazing thing. Stephanie did a fabulous job and seemed to be feeling good a couple of hours after delivery. I gave them all hugs and well wishes and was on my way.
June 3, 2009
4:13pm
7 pounds, 14 ounces
From the day Stephanie and I met, I felt we had a great connection. She and I chatted for over an hour and a half about everything from her pregnancy to my doula background to her boyfriends’ life in the US Army. It was a great conversation and when she told me that she wanted me to be her doula, I was excited. We met a few more times over the next three months. Her biggest concern about the birth was that was she very nervous about the pain. I assured her that things would be okay, and that she would never have to be alone during her labor. I promised her emotional support along with some secret doula pain relief strategies.
So when she called me the night she went into labor, I was happy to hear she was at home, contracting steadily and ready for me to come over. When I arrived, Stephanie seemed to be handling the contractions very well. She was calm, relaxed and quiet. During contractions she took deep breaths and I tried to remind her of what her body was doing. She asked me if we should go to the hospital yet or not and I told her that it was ultimately up to her but that we could try to stay at home a little longer as I had just gotten there. We broke up the time into 30 minute intervals. I kept saying, okay, lets just see if we can stay for another 30. That only lasted about 90 minutes. Stephanie said “Okay, I think I’m ready to go.” Since her contractions were every 2 minutes, I knew she was really getting there, making progress.
When Stephanie, her mother, grandmother, and I arrived at the hospital, Stephanie went right into triage. Her mother, grandmother and I waited in the waiting area for over an hour before we found out what was going on back there! They allowed me into triage after the doctor announced that Stephanie was already dilated 7cm. We were all very happy but when I saw Stephanie, she seemed to be in different kind of pain than before. This is when I had to tell her after each contraction that she was almost there and that she was doing beautifully! She didn’t believe me and just asked for some relief. I gave her some ice and tried to relax her with a light massage during contractions. When we finally got into the L&D room 6, she asked for an epidural. When the anesthesiologist came, Stephanie looked relieved. By this time it was 11am and although she was 8 centimeters and was nearing the end of her labor, she felt an epidural would allow her to relax so she could rest before the pushing. It took a while for the anesthesiologist to place the epidural correctly and Stephanie was a real trooper through the whole thing. I was able to stay in the room while this was going on, my first time seeing an epidural placed, and I was so impressed by how calm she was, even during contractions!
By 2:30, she was ready to start pushing. The birthing team, or I guess I should say the birthing fans were geared up and ready to cheer Stephanie on. Between me, the female resident, Stephanie’s mom and grandma, we made a rather strong sound during the final stages of Stephanie’s pushing. Perhaps it was because we felt such energy and excitement from watching a miracle happen before our eyes, or
maybe it was the way we instinctively felt Stephanie needed to be supported. Whatever it was, it felt like a true womanhood moment. The two male doctors in the room kept looking at one another like as if to say “yikes”, but managed to keep smiling. When it got a a little too loud the head doctor to give us a “shh.” At 4:13pm on June 3, 2009, Stephanie gave birth to her beautiful baby boy, Sean. He was absolutely stunning. Mom looked shocked and in awe when she laid eyes on her son. To witness the birth of a 4th generation was an amazing thing. Stephanie did a fabulous job and seemed to be feeling good a couple of hours after delivery. I gave them all hugs and well wishes and was on my way.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Epidurals....
So, why wouldn't I get an epidural? Many people might think that doulas are anti-epidural. I recently read a NY Times article titled And the Doula Makes Four which gave doulas some negative press, I think. I would like to clarify some points about myself as a doula because I can obviously only speak for myself.
As a birth doula, it is my job and goal to provide unconditional, continuous labor support to my clients, epidural or not, planned c-section or not, au natural or not. When I sign on for a job, I commit to offer educational support to the woman so that she can make her own informed decision. I strongly believe that the choices made before, during and after birth are a woman's right and if she has the resources to make an informed choice, we should respect that.
I am proud to be a doula who can support a woman through many different types of labors and births. I respect the woman who chooses to have her baby at home, intervention free. I also respect the woman who decides that she wants some pain relief from an epidural.
So, why are some against epidurals? My guess would be that when a person learns and believes that labor and childbirth are natural processes that occur for a reason, it makes more sense to not mess with that process. Birth is often described as a miracle and some may feel that to intervene or interrupt this miracle would be disrespectful and inhumane. I agree, birth is a miracle and natural is always best. However, what we must remember is that birth is something that occurs within a woman and we must leave the choices surrounding childbirth up to her because after all, it is her body and her birth.
As a birth doula, it is my job and goal to provide unconditional, continuous labor support to my clients, epidural or not, planned c-section or not, au natural or not. When I sign on for a job, I commit to offer educational support to the woman so that she can make her own informed decision. I strongly believe that the choices made before, during and after birth are a woman's right and if she has the resources to make an informed choice, we should respect that.
I am proud to be a doula who can support a woman through many different types of labors and births. I respect the woman who chooses to have her baby at home, intervention free. I also respect the woman who decides that she wants some pain relief from an epidural.
So, why are some against epidurals? My guess would be that when a person learns and believes that labor and childbirth are natural processes that occur for a reason, it makes more sense to not mess with that process. Birth is often described as a miracle and some may feel that to intervene or interrupt this miracle would be disrespectful and inhumane. I agree, birth is a miracle and natural is always best. However, what we must remember is that birth is something that occurs within a woman and we must leave the choices surrounding childbirth up to her because after all, it is her body and her birth.
Friday, June 12, 2009
A Big One
Justin’s Birth
June 1, 2009
2:59am
10 pounds, 8.4 ounces
22 ¼ inches
When Katie’s sister, Jo, called me at 11:30pm she told me that Katie’s water had just broken and that they were going to relax because her contractions had not started yet. I told her to call me if things changed. The phone rang again at 1:30am but this time it was Katie. All she said was “can you come over and show me some breathing techniques because the pain is getting bad.” I said yes and got going. I arrived at her house around 2:15am. She was visibly uncomfortable but still chit-chatty so as to seem that she was managing her pain very well. Her sister and mom were asleep. I helped her breath through her contractions as they came, every 4 or 5 minutes. She changed positions every half hour or so and that seemed to help. We went for a walk, she took a hot shower, we ate breakfast and before we knew it, it was 8am. We managed to stay home until 11:30am. If the doctor hadn’t requested that we come in, Katie could have definitely labored at home for a while longer. But since her water broke 12 hours prior, the doctor felt we should come in.
When we arrived at the hospital, it took a while for Katie to get checked out. I noticed how much the hospital atmosphere changed the vibe of Katie and her labor. She seemed a little more scared and anxious to have her baby. When they checked her at 1:30pm, she was 4 centimeters dilated. I could tell this disappointed Katie because she had been in labor for more than 12 hours and was hoping that she was 6 or 7 by now. I tried to reassure her, letting her know that we would labor at the hospital until the job was done. She got an epidural a few hours later to relieve her discomfort and hopefully get some sleep. Katie’s labor might have lasted two days but unfortunately she acquired a fever and her baby’s heart rate was going up. The doctors tried some Tylenol and although Katie was 7 centimeters at 2:30am, 26 hours after her water broke, the doctors agreed that a C-section was the only option. She seemed disappointed but she put in a very good effort, and I was so proud of her. It can be hard to go through such a long labor in a hospital setting.
So, her 10 pound, 8.4 ounce baby boy was born at 2:59am on June 1st. When the doctor came to tell us in the waiting room, we were stunned at the size of this guy! Her Dad said “oh he is definitely going to be a football player!” The doctor had a few pictures to show us so that was exciting. When I saw Katie in recovery a few minutes later, she looked okay but was fast asleep. After all that hard work, how wouldn’t be tired? She needed to rest.
I left around 4am, got home at 5am, and crashed…
June 1, 2009
2:59am
10 pounds, 8.4 ounces
22 ¼ inches
When Katie’s sister, Jo, called me at 11:30pm she told me that Katie’s water had just broken and that they were going to relax because her contractions had not started yet. I told her to call me if things changed. The phone rang again at 1:30am but this time it was Katie. All she said was “can you come over and show me some breathing techniques because the pain is getting bad.” I said yes and got going. I arrived at her house around 2:15am. She was visibly uncomfortable but still chit-chatty so as to seem that she was managing her pain very well. Her sister and mom were asleep. I helped her breath through her contractions as they came, every 4 or 5 minutes. She changed positions every half hour or so and that seemed to help. We went for a walk, she took a hot shower, we ate breakfast and before we knew it, it was 8am. We managed to stay home until 11:30am. If the doctor hadn’t requested that we come in, Katie could have definitely labored at home for a while longer. But since her water broke 12 hours prior, the doctor felt we should come in.
When we arrived at the hospital, it took a while for Katie to get checked out. I noticed how much the hospital atmosphere changed the vibe of Katie and her labor. She seemed a little more scared and anxious to have her baby. When they checked her at 1:30pm, she was 4 centimeters dilated. I could tell this disappointed Katie because she had been in labor for more than 12 hours and was hoping that she was 6 or 7 by now. I tried to reassure her, letting her know that we would labor at the hospital until the job was done. She got an epidural a few hours later to relieve her discomfort and hopefully get some sleep. Katie’s labor might have lasted two days but unfortunately she acquired a fever and her baby’s heart rate was going up. The doctors tried some Tylenol and although Katie was 7 centimeters at 2:30am, 26 hours after her water broke, the doctors agreed that a C-section was the only option. She seemed disappointed but she put in a very good effort, and I was so proud of her. It can be hard to go through such a long labor in a hospital setting.
So, her 10 pound, 8.4 ounce baby boy was born at 2:59am on June 1st. When the doctor came to tell us in the waiting room, we were stunned at the size of this guy! Her Dad said “oh he is definitely going to be a football player!” The doctor had a few pictures to show us so that was exciting. When I saw Katie in recovery a few minutes later, she looked okay but was fast asleep. After all that hard work, how wouldn’t be tired? She needed to rest.
I left around 4am, got home at 5am, and crashed…
Fear in Childbirth
Fear in Childbirth Video
A nice video made by nursing students attempting to capture the issue of fears about childbirth. I think this video does a nice job of stating facts and research while supporting women by saying that fear is NORMAL and natural. It is important for us to support, educate, and tend to women in labor to diminish their fears and help them have a smooth birth experience. A positive birth experience plays a big role in mother's satisfaction about parenting and her ability to have a baby. We need to let women know that they can do it by providing them with that unconditional care and support they really need and is too often overlooked.
A nice video made by nursing students attempting to capture the issue of fears about childbirth. I think this video does a nice job of stating facts and research while supporting women by saying that fear is NORMAL and natural. It is important for us to support, educate, and tend to women in labor to diminish their fears and help them have a smooth birth experience. A positive birth experience plays a big role in mother's satisfaction about parenting and her ability to have a baby. We need to let women know that they can do it by providing them with that unconditional care and support they really need and is too often overlooked.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Baby Story
Allison’s Birth
May 21, 2009
9 pounds, 3 ounces
After driving back from the Hamptons, I finally arrived at the hospital where Lindsay had recently been induced. It was obvious from the moment I arrived that Lindsay’s mother was there for more than just her granddaughter’s grand entrance. The two of them were definitely in a rhythm. Her mom was doing all the right things. It was nice to see the way Lindsay and her mother worked together. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my place in this birth would be to take a step back and let Lindsay do her thing with her mom and husband, William, by her side and her supportive father in the waiting room, checking in from time to time. This was truly a “mothering the mother” situation and I wasn’t about to interrupt their beautiful dance.
Lindsay labored for about 21 hours and did a great job managing her pain the entire time. She took deep yogic breaths and seemed very focused on what she was doing. When she got an epidural, she seemed to get some relief but it wore off pretty quickly. The anesthesiologist gave her a top off or two. When she was ready to push, everyone on her birthing team was excited. William, Lindsay’s mother, father and I all cheered her on. She pushed for a little over an hour and delivered her entire baby in one last push at 11:00am. It was an emotional welcoming as Lindsay and William were obviously overcome with joy to meet their little girl. I teared up as I watched them embrace one another with hugs of happiness after they told Lindsay’s mom that the baby would be named after her. I felt like I was watching a movie but it was far from a movie – it was so so real.
May 21, 2009
9 pounds, 3 ounces
After driving back from the Hamptons, I finally arrived at the hospital where Lindsay had recently been induced. It was obvious from the moment I arrived that Lindsay’s mother was there for more than just her granddaughter’s grand entrance. The two of them were definitely in a rhythm. Her mom was doing all the right things. It was nice to see the way Lindsay and her mother worked together. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my place in this birth would be to take a step back and let Lindsay do her thing with her mom and husband, William, by her side and her supportive father in the waiting room, checking in from time to time. This was truly a “mothering the mother” situation and I wasn’t about to interrupt their beautiful dance.
Lindsay labored for about 21 hours and did a great job managing her pain the entire time. She took deep yogic breaths and seemed very focused on what she was doing. When she got an epidural, she seemed to get some relief but it wore off pretty quickly. The anesthesiologist gave her a top off or two. When she was ready to push, everyone on her birthing team was excited. William, Lindsay’s mother, father and I all cheered her on. She pushed for a little over an hour and delivered her entire baby in one last push at 11:00am. It was an emotional welcoming as Lindsay and William were obviously overcome with joy to meet their little girl. I teared up as I watched them embrace one another with hugs of happiness after they told Lindsay’s mom that the baby would be named after her. I felt like I was watching a movie but it was far from a movie – it was so so real.
Postpartum visit with Catherine and Theresa
The first time I met Catherine, she asked me I was Italian. I told her yes and we joked about having an Italian feast after her birth where we would watch her birth video (originally she wanted me to film it but the hospitals said absolutely not). So before I went to the postpartum visit with Catherine, I made her some baked ziti. She was thrilled. She, her friend who was over, and their daughters even tried it while I was there.
We had a nice time, chatting about this and that and reminiscing about her birth experience a few weeks back. Baby Theresa was in my arms the entire time and I even got to give her a bottle! It was nice to see mom and baby doing so well. We said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch for years to come!
We had a nice time, chatting about this and that and reminiscing about her birth experience a few weeks back. Baby Theresa was in my arms the entire time and I even got to give her a bottle! It was nice to see mom and baby doing so well. We said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch for years to come!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Birth #7
I can't believe I have done so many births in the last month or so. This one came right after #6 but was a bit shorter. Mom labored at home for about 6 hours and when we got to the hospital was already 7 cm! I was so proud of her. She did very well for the entire labor and delivery and gave birth to a 7 pound 14 ounce baby at 4:13pm. It was a fun day!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
One long haul with a big reward!
It was a long labor for my latest birth mom, Sarah, who gave birth at 2:59am on June 1st to a rather large baby boy - 10 pounds, 8.4 ounces, 22 1/4 inches long. He made his entrance in the OR after 27 hours of labor. Mom worked very hard and did everything right but little John just didn't want to come out! Baby was born healthy and mom was unbelievably happy to meet her new little guy.
First births
In my poll about first birth experiences, answers varied. First births are so filled with many different kinds of emotions that it can be an overwhelming experience. Pregnancy with your first baby is usually an exciting time for many women as they prepare for their very first child. In preparing for the birth, mommies to be can't help but picture how they would like their birth to pan out. But as I have learned, one can never predict, or plan. It is important to be well educated about the different situations that can occur before, during and after birth in order to approach your pregnancy and birth with an positive but open mind. Excitement about meeting your baby and being a mom is a perfectly healthy feeling and should be embraced to the fullest!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
5 babies!
Birth Stories
by M.B.
My first pregnancy with JM went really well - I gained 45 pounds and I loved being pregnant! I was young and 3,000 miles away from my family, so I didn't get much guidance. The pregnancy was uneventful- I was happy and healthy. Unfortunately, my father in law died very suddenly when I was 8 mos. pregnant. We hadn't gone through any Lamaze yet and never did - so when my water broke a month later, (on Super Bowl Sunday) I was not prepared. I thought I could handle it but I was desperate for an epidural. Unfortunately, they gave it to me when I was 8 cm. and just beginning transition so it really made it difficult to push.
I ended up pushing for 2 1/2 hrs. and was given an episiotomy from hole to hole! There was a mirror available so I got to watch the whole birth. It was amazing! JM weighed 8lbs. 1oz. The recovery was slow because of the many stitches and nursing was quite challenging, but overall it was a good experience.
My second pregnancy was just as good if not, better, because I knew what to expect and I was much more aware of my body. I truly loved being pregnant! The only issue that bothered me was pain at the tip of my pelvis. It felt like a constant bruising - I found out it was caused by friction where the pelvis bones meet. They separate briefly in order for the baby to pass through. I was trying to be more active during this pregnancy, but with activity, came the pelvic pain. Ann was born in a naval hospital about 40 minutes away so I was nervous about getting there in time. My experience at the naval hospital was quite different from the first hospital. First of all, I had a male nurse. I have to say, he was fabulous! He was very supportive and caring. Unfortunately, I was not in a private room so I was a bit self conscious during and after labor. I didn't have any drugs. I felt very much in control during labor. I only pushed for about half an hour and no episiotomy!
Ann weighed 8 lbs. The down side to being in this facility was that I had to walk down and get my baby in the nursery when I wanted to nurse. She did not sleep with me in the ward. I even had a group of corpsman (navy medics) observe while the doctor put a catheter in me because I had trouble urinating! There is no such thing as humility during childbirth. Ann was a very healthy, alert baby who loved to nurse!
Pregnancy number three - again, I loved being pregnant! It was a little more challenging having two little ones to take care of but overall, I felt great. I remember rollerblading while pushing Ann in the stroller as I took JM to preschool. I had lots of energy and felt really good for the duration of the pregnancy. I was very nervous towards the end about leaving the other two children when I went to the hospital. I ended up being 11 days past my due date (middle of July in Southern California!) I had a neighbor who was signed up to watch them when it was time to go, but she was not available at the time of delivery. So, I had to take them to a day care center where no one knew them. I was sobbing as we dropped them off! I delivered at a private hospital but unfortunately, my doctor was not available to deliver my baby. His partner (I met once) delivered John without a hitch. Again, I had no meds and the pushing was bearable - no episiotomy either. John weighed 7lbs 15oz. I learned later that I burst quite a few blood vessels in my face and neck during pushing - it looked like I had the measles! My skin eventually returned to normal. John was a healthy, very calm baby.
Another good nurser! One thing that got more painful after each pregnancy was when the uterus would contract to get back to its original size. Each time I nursed it would trigger the uterus to contract......It felt like labor all over again! My mother had warned me of this (she had 8 kids)! I literally had to breathe through the pain, so nursing was not always fun.
My fourth pregnancy was also uneventful......I felt good most of the time aside from the bruising pelvic pain. I really took care of myself, was active and busy with the other children. On the day of a scheduled appointment at the end of my pregnancy, I began labor very early in the morning. We waited to see the doctor for appt. and
when seen, he informed me I was already 6 centimeters. We quickly walked over to the adjoining hospital. I was settled in minutes, and ended up pushing very briefly before my doctor barely made it in to deliver my daughter, Emily. She weighed 7lbs. 14oz. She was an enthusiastic nurser and sweet as can be! Again, the afterbirth contractions were quite painful but temporary. I geared up for life at home with 4 children under the age of 5........I didn't want to leave the hospital!
After a divorce and remarriage, I wanted to have another child with my new husband. I had a tubal ligation after my last baby, so I went back in for a tubal reversal. After a 4 hour operation, there was a 60% chance that I'd get pregnant. Well, they didn't call me "Fertile Myrtle" for nothing......I conceived right away but suffered a miscarriage. Thankfully, my next pregnancy was successful. I was 38 and felt a difference physically with this pregnancy but I was very healthy. I had taken up yoga prior to getting pregnant and continued all through the pregnancy. I was very active and really took care of myself. I felt great most of the time. When labor began I continued to go about my business, carpooling, helping with homework etc. I labored all though the night, put the kids on the bus and went to the
hospital around 8:00 a.m. We walked the halls of Labor & Delivery, pausing for contractions, I rocked in a chair for a while too (that was soothing). I eventually asked for something for the pain but I can't remember if they even gave me anything. I pushed for about 1/2 an hour. I thought I was in good shape but the pushing took a lot out of me - I was exhausted in the end. Hope was my biggest baby at 9lbs. 2 oz. No episiotomy - I was thrilled! I bounced back pretty well - although I did suffer from postpartum depression for about 6 months. It was tough. She was a very stubborn nurser, I was very frustrated having to pump often - she only nursed for 3 weeks.
......And life goes on. My oldest daughter, Ann married in October and is now expecting! She is an extremely nurturing woman with a wealth of information. The thought of watching my daughter become a mother warms my heart!
by M.B.
My first pregnancy with JM went really well - I gained 45 pounds and I loved being pregnant! I was young and 3,000 miles away from my family, so I didn't get much guidance. The pregnancy was uneventful- I was happy and healthy. Unfortunately, my father in law died very suddenly when I was 8 mos. pregnant. We hadn't gone through any Lamaze yet and never did - so when my water broke a month later, (on Super Bowl Sunday) I was not prepared. I thought I could handle it but I was desperate for an epidural. Unfortunately, they gave it to me when I was 8 cm. and just beginning transition so it really made it difficult to push.
I ended up pushing for 2 1/2 hrs. and was given an episiotomy from hole to hole! There was a mirror available so I got to watch the whole birth. It was amazing! JM weighed 8lbs. 1oz. The recovery was slow because of the many stitches and nursing was quite challenging, but overall it was a good experience. My second pregnancy was just as good if not, better, because I knew what to expect and I was much more aware of my body. I truly loved being pregnant! The only issue that bothered me was pain at the tip of my pelvis. It felt like a constant bruising - I found out it was caused by friction where the pelvis bones meet. They separate briefly in order for the baby to pass through. I was trying to be more active during this pregnancy, but with activity, came the pelvic pain. Ann was born in a naval hospital about 40 minutes away so I was nervous about getting there in time. My experience at the naval hospital was quite different from the first hospital. First of all, I had a male nurse. I have to say, he was fabulous! He was very supportive and caring. Unfortunately, I was not in a private room so I was a bit self conscious during and after labor. I didn't have any drugs. I felt very much in control during labor. I only pushed for about half an hour and no episiotomy!
Ann weighed 8 lbs. The down side to being in this facility was that I had to walk down and get my baby in the nursery when I wanted to nurse. She did not sleep with me in the ward. I even had a group of corpsman (navy medics) observe while the doctor put a catheter in me because I had trouble urinating! There is no such thing as humility during childbirth. Ann was a very healthy, alert baby who loved to nurse!Pregnancy number three - again, I loved being pregnant! It was a little more challenging having two little ones to take care of but overall, I felt great. I remember rollerblading while pushing Ann in the stroller as I took JM to preschool. I had lots of energy and felt really good for the duration of the pregnancy. I was very nervous towards the end about leaving the other two children when I went to the hospital. I ended up being 11 days past my due date (middle of July in Southern California!) I had a neighbor who was signed up to watch them when it was time to go, but she was not available at the time of delivery. So, I had to take them to a day care center where no one knew them. I was sobbing as we dropped them off! I delivered at a private hospital but unfortunately, my doctor was not available to deliver my baby. His partner (I met once) delivered John without a hitch. Again, I had no meds and the pushing was bearable - no episiotomy either. John weighed 7lbs 15oz. I learned later that I burst quite a few blood vessels in my face and neck during pushing - it looked like I had the measles! My skin eventually returned to normal. John was a healthy, very calm baby.
Another good nurser! One thing that got more painful after each pregnancy was when the uterus would contract to get back to its original size. Each time I nursed it would trigger the uterus to contract......It felt like labor all over again! My mother had warned me of this (she had 8 kids)! I literally had to breathe through the pain, so nursing was not always fun.My fourth pregnancy was also uneventful......I felt good most of the time aside from the bruising pelvic pain. I really took care of myself, was active and busy with the other children. On the day of a scheduled appointment at the end of my pregnancy, I began labor very early in the morning. We waited to see the doctor for appt. and
when seen, he informed me I was already 6 centimeters. We quickly walked over to the adjoining hospital. I was settled in minutes, and ended up pushing very briefly before my doctor barely made it in to deliver my daughter, Emily. She weighed 7lbs. 14oz. She was an enthusiastic nurser and sweet as can be! Again, the afterbirth contractions were quite painful but temporary. I geared up for life at home with 4 children under the age of 5........I didn't want to leave the hospital!After a divorce and remarriage, I wanted to have another child with my new husband. I had a tubal ligation after my last baby, so I went back in for a tubal reversal. After a 4 hour operation, there was a 60% chance that I'd get pregnant. Well, they didn't call me "Fertile Myrtle" for nothing......I conceived right away but suffered a miscarriage. Thankfully, my next pregnancy was successful. I was 38 and felt a difference physically with this pregnancy but I was very healthy. I had taken up yoga prior to getting pregnant and continued all through the pregnancy. I was very active and really took care of myself. I felt great most of the time. When labor began I continued to go about my business, carpooling, helping with homework etc. I labored all though the night, put the kids on the bus and went to the
hospital around 8:00 a.m. We walked the halls of Labor & Delivery, pausing for contractions, I rocked in a chair for a while too (that was soothing). I eventually asked for something for the pain but I can't remember if they even gave me anything. I pushed for about 1/2 an hour. I thought I was in good shape but the pushing took a lot out of me - I was exhausted in the end. Hope was my biggest baby at 9lbs. 2 oz. No episiotomy - I was thrilled! I bounced back pretty well - although I did suffer from postpartum depression for about 6 months. It was tough. She was a very stubborn nurser, I was very frustrated having to pump often - she only nursed for 3 weeks.......And life goes on. My oldest daughter, Ann married in October and is now expecting! She is an extremely nurturing woman with a wealth of information. The thought of watching my daughter become a mother warms my heart!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Birth #5
I was in Montauk last week with my friend Liz who was in town for the week, when Tina called to say she was at the hospital and about to be induced because a test revealed low amniotic fluid. It was 10:30am. I drove home, going 70 the entire time, took the train into the city and arrived at the hospital - it was 3pm. I was there until noon the next day. Baby was born at 11:00am, Thursday, May 21, a hearty 9 pounds, 3 ounces after a long, hard labor. Mom worked so hard and did an amazing job. This is the 2nd baby out of only 5 to be born on a close friend's birthday...weird. More to come on this birth soon!
Postpartum visit with Loretta, Damien and Baby Raheem
Baby Raheem was doing beautifully when I saw him at our postpartum visit. He looks so different from the last time I saw him, a couple of weeks ago on his birthday. Mom, Loretta, is doing well and said she is busy with baby and looking forward to her trip to Jamaica for the summer. The family seems to be adjusting to life with baby and happy that their son is healthy and home after a 7 day stay in the hospital. I was delighted to meet with them. Mom let me hold little Raheem, which is always fun.
Birth #4
Theresa’s Birth
May 4, 2008
4:16 p.m.
7 pounds, 11 ounces
Theresa's birth was quick. The labor, however, was a different story. Catherine went into labor around 2am on Monday, May 4th. She called me, complaining of back pains. She didn't know what it was because with her previous two labors, her water had broken, and that was her queue to go to the hospital, the baby was on its way. This time, things started differently. When her back pain became unbearable, Catherine decided to go to the hospital. When I arrived, she was strolling the halls to manage her pain, which she was doing very well. I could tell that the contraction feeling was kicking in and she was definitely in labor. We went into her labor room to get settled. Catherine was visibly uncomfortable so I reminded her to focus on her breath, to keep it present and deep. Her partner, Ron, was very supportive and kept the room vibe in the room positive and fun, at least for me. He was cracking jokes, or perhaps just being himself. Either way, he was quite a character. Catherine chimed right on in. Their sense of humor seemed to help pass the time. Catherine’s initial thought was that this labor would be similar to her two previous labors, short and manageable. But, she dilated slowly, she thought. We tried many different positions and pain management resources including the use of a rebozo, massage, and rythmic breathing. Catherine's doctors decided to start her on pitocin after about 7 hours of labor and slow dilation. Her body responded well and her contractions came more frequent and regular. Prior to the pitocin, she received a small dose of morphine. Things were progressing as we continued to change her position and activity every hour or so. By 3:00, Catherine felt she was ready to push. The doctors encouraged her to wait until she felt a really strong urge because they knew it would be a quick second stage if she waited, being that it was her third baby. And that it was, Catherine pushed mightily 3 times and born was her baby, Theresa. It was so fast that the doctors didn't even have time to get the birth kit ready. I am pretty sure the doctors had never seen someone push quite like Catherine, she was a pro! Ron cheered Catherine on
from behind the curtain, while Auntie Vai and I did so by her side. Everyone but Catherine was surprised when she pushed her baby out so quickly. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Theresa was born 7 pounds, 11 ounces, at 4:16 p.m. on May 4, 2008. 
What Catherine thought would be a short labor and delivery turned into a long labor, for her, and a very short delivery. She remained in good spirits through the entire journey, staying positive even when she felt impatient and frustrated. Baby Theresa was born perfectly healthy, bringing Mom and Dad smiles of bliss. It was an adventurous day, one that was filled with patience and perseverance and ended in a bundle joy.
May 4, 2008
4:16 p.m.
7 pounds, 11 ounces
Theresa's birth was quick. The labor, however, was a different story. Catherine went into labor around 2am on Monday, May 4th. She called me, complaining of back pains. She didn't know what it was because with her previous two labors, her water had broken, and that was her queue to go to the hospital, the baby was on its way. This time, things started differently. When her back pain became unbearable, Catherine decided to go to the hospital. When I arrived, she was strolling the halls to manage her pain, which she was doing very well. I could tell that the contraction feeling was kicking in and she was definitely in labor. We went into her labor room to get settled. Catherine was visibly uncomfortable so I reminded her to focus on her breath, to keep it present and deep. Her partner, Ron, was very supportive and kept the room vibe in the room positive and fun, at least for me. He was cracking jokes, or perhaps just being himself. Either way, he was quite a character. Catherine chimed right on in. Their sense of humor seemed to help pass the time. Catherine’s initial thought was that this labor would be similar to her two previous labors, short and manageable. But, she dilated slowly, she thought. We tried many different positions and pain management resources including the use of a rebozo, massage, and rythmic breathing. Catherine's doctors decided to start her on pitocin after about 7 hours of labor and slow dilation. Her body responded well and her contractions came more frequent and regular. Prior to the pitocin, she received a small dose of morphine. Things were progressing as we continued to change her position and activity every hour or so. By 3:00, Catherine felt she was ready to push. The doctors encouraged her to wait until she felt a really strong urge because they knew it would be a quick second stage if she waited, being that it was her third baby. And that it was, Catherine pushed mightily 3 times and born was her baby, Theresa. It was so fast that the doctors didn't even have time to get the birth kit ready. I am pretty sure the doctors had never seen someone push quite like Catherine, she was a pro! Ron cheered Catherine on
from behind the curtain, while Auntie Vai and I did so by her side. Everyone but Catherine was surprised when she pushed her baby out so quickly. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Theresa was born 7 pounds, 11 ounces, at 4:16 p.m. on May 4, 2008. 
What Catherine thought would be a short labor and delivery turned into a long labor, for her, and a very short delivery. She remained in good spirits through the entire journey, staying positive even when she felt impatient and frustrated. Baby Theresa was born perfectly healthy, bringing Mom and Dad smiles of bliss. It was an adventurous day, one that was filled with patience and perseverance and ended in a bundle joy.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Raheem's Birth
Raheem’s Birth
May 3, 2009
10:59am
7 pounds, 0 ounces
When I met with Loretta for the first time, I was very fond of her. She was a sweet Jamaican woman, pregnant with her first baby, and a little bit nervous about her upcoming labor and delivery. I assured her that we would labor at home for as long as possible, hoping that would progress her labor some before we arrived at the hospital. But, you can never be sure about the plan of action until the day actually comes. Loretta’s labor started a few days after her due date but seemed to keep slowing down and stalling over the course of about 3 days. And than, early Sunday morning, at about 3:30 a.m. she called me to say that they were going to the hospital because her contractions had picked up quite a bit. I was happy and excited and on my way. When I arrived, I was surprised when the nurse at the Labor and Delivery check in desk told me to wait in the waiting area until Loretta was out of the triage room. Okay, fine, I thought, at least she has her partner, Damien, with her. A few minutes later, Damien comes strolling off the elevator. Now I was a little confused and upset that Loretta was by herself. Damien went to the L&D desk and asked if he could go back there to be with Loretta. The same nurse replied, with the same answer. We waited patiently for a few minutes which turned into an hour. Finally, we were allowed to go see Loretta. She looked a little scared and was hooked up to monitors, IVs and an oxygen mask already. The doctor explained that there had been some meconium in her water when they were broken so they had to keep a close eye on her and her baby. We got settled and figured out ways to work with the machines to help her get through her contractions. She did an amazing job, breathing through each one, and taking them one at a time. Hours passed and she was slowly but surely dilating. Dr. Josephs was very supportive and allowed her to stand up, in hopes of making Loretta as comfortable as possible. By 9:00 a.m., Loretta was beginning to feel very uncomfortable so she decided to request an epidural. There was an emergency in the hospital so the anesthesiologist was unavailable. Loretta managed her pain beautifully, and I was very impressed with her goddess-like strength. Damien and I worked together to provide emotional support for Loretta as she progressed. Soon she reached 10 centimeters but still wanted an epidural. Dr. Josephs said that it might be a good idea because she would probably be pushing for a while.
When the head doctor came in to check to see if she would be a good candidate for an epidural at this point, she announced that Loretta would need to deliver her baby via C-section. We were all a bit shocked because there was no mention of this possibility up until this point. They explained that there were a few different factors stacked up against her, and did not think the baby would handle the pushing stage very well. I could tell Loretta was confused. All of that, for a C-section? I tried to reassure her, telling her she did well and the best she could. Damien seemed a little bit sad but realized that his baby’s health might be in jeopardy if he was not delivered soon. The next couple of hours were slow, as I waited for Loretta and Damien to come out of the operating room. Baby Raheem was born at 10:59 on Sunday, May 3rd. He was 7 pounds. I was able to see Loretta in recovery after her surgery. She seemed tired but happy that her baby was here. I gave her my best, and left, as she needed to rest up. Raheem was in the NICU, being monitored. I got the chance to go with Dad to visit him, which was very exciting and is usually not allowed in this hospital. I was grateful. He looked beautiful. It was a long journey but Mom, Dad and baby seemed to be happy, and healthy. I was happy and proud of Loretta for all of her hard work.
May 3, 2009
10:59am
7 pounds, 0 ounces
When I met with Loretta for the first time, I was very fond of her. She was a sweet Jamaican woman, pregnant with her first baby, and a little bit nervous about her upcoming labor and delivery. I assured her that we would labor at home for as long as possible, hoping that would progress her labor some before we arrived at the hospital. But, you can never be sure about the plan of action until the day actually comes. Loretta’s labor started a few days after her due date but seemed to keep slowing down and stalling over the course of about 3 days. And than, early Sunday morning, at about 3:30 a.m. she called me to say that they were going to the hospital because her contractions had picked up quite a bit. I was happy and excited and on my way. When I arrived, I was surprised when the nurse at the Labor and Delivery check in desk told me to wait in the waiting area until Loretta was out of the triage room. Okay, fine, I thought, at least she has her partner, Damien, with her. A few minutes later, Damien comes strolling off the elevator. Now I was a little confused and upset that Loretta was by herself. Damien went to the L&D desk and asked if he could go back there to be with Loretta. The same nurse replied, with the same answer. We waited patiently for a few minutes which turned into an hour. Finally, we were allowed to go see Loretta. She looked a little scared and was hooked up to monitors, IVs and an oxygen mask already. The doctor explained that there had been some meconium in her water when they were broken so they had to keep a close eye on her and her baby. We got settled and figured out ways to work with the machines to help her get through her contractions. She did an amazing job, breathing through each one, and taking them one at a time. Hours passed and she was slowly but surely dilating. Dr. Josephs was very supportive and allowed her to stand up, in hopes of making Loretta as comfortable as possible. By 9:00 a.m., Loretta was beginning to feel very uncomfortable so she decided to request an epidural. There was an emergency in the hospital so the anesthesiologist was unavailable. Loretta managed her pain beautifully, and I was very impressed with her goddess-like strength. Damien and I worked together to provide emotional support for Loretta as she progressed. Soon she reached 10 centimeters but still wanted an epidural. Dr. Josephs said that it might be a good idea because she would probably be pushing for a while.
When the head doctor came in to check to see if she would be a good candidate for an epidural at this point, she announced that Loretta would need to deliver her baby via C-section. We were all a bit shocked because there was no mention of this possibility up until this point. They explained that there were a few different factors stacked up against her, and did not think the baby would handle the pushing stage very well. I could tell Loretta was confused. All of that, for a C-section? I tried to reassure her, telling her she did well and the best she could. Damien seemed a little bit sad but realized that his baby’s health might be in jeopardy if he was not delivered soon. The next couple of hours were slow, as I waited for Loretta and Damien to come out of the operating room. Baby Raheem was born at 10:59 on Sunday, May 3rd. He was 7 pounds. I was able to see Loretta in recovery after her surgery. She seemed tired but happy that her baby was here. I gave her my best, and left, as she needed to rest up. Raheem was in the NICU, being monitored. I got the chance to go with Dad to visit him, which was very exciting and is usually not allowed in this hospital. I was grateful. He looked beautiful. It was a long journey but Mom, Dad and baby seemed to be happy, and healthy. I was happy and proud of Loretta for all of her hard work.
A Story
Unnamed
by A.K.
I found out that I was pregnant with the second one in October 2008. My parents happened to be visiting us in Honolulu, so I was thrilled to break that news when they landed. My partner and I were excited to have a sibling for Isato, our son, and everything felt right.
But one Friday as I was preparing to go to a meeting, I noticed that I was bleeding. First I thought nothing about it, but then started to freak out. In panic, I called my OB/GYN whom I just met for the first time several weeks before. She called back and told me casually that "well, there is nothing we can do about it. When it passes, you'll know" and told me to come on Monday if bleeding continues and then hang up. I was left to myself, trying to understand what she meant by "passing," and shuddered when realized that she meant a miscarriage. How could she be so unsympathetic?
I spent next two days not knowing what to do. Bleeding continued, and the slightest change in the amount of blood in the pad made me hopeful in one moment devastated in the next. I googled the web looking for information and tips, and found that 15-25 % of all pregnancies end up in what doctors call "spontaneous miscarriage." I could not believe how high the ratio was, and thought back about my oblivious carelessness during the first pregnancy when I did not even think about a possibility of losing the fetus I was carrying.
Monday, I called and demanded the appointment with the doctor. She squeezed me in and my partner and I were in the room by 8:30. She pulled out the ultrasound machined and looked for the heartbeat, but it was not there. My miscarriage was confirmed. She then went on to talk about three options of removing the "pregnancy." (1) wait until it naturally "passes," (2) surgery, and (3) off-the label use of pills. She did not recommend (1) and suggested (3) to which I simply nodded. But I decided to wait to take the pills until after I go home, as I was warned of possible side effects.
I had to teach a course two hours after that bad news. I am not sure how I lectured, but students seemed not to notice my swollen eyes, and I managed until the last 5 minutes of class. As I was showing a clip from a video to demonstrate some points I was making earlier, I felt a strong contraction in my lower abdomen. It brought back the memory of my first son's birth-- painful, but powerful urge that I had forgotten. After several seconds, I felt the gush between my legs.
I somehow managed to finish my lecture as if nothing happened, ran out of the classroom hoping that the pad was able to hold for a while. In a lavatory, I saw the tiny pink object on the pad. It was so small, shining like a creature from the sea. The doctor instructed me to put the "pregnancy" in the plastic container to bring it to the lab, so I put my little dead fetus in it.
After crying while in my office, I walked down the University Avenue to the lab with my container. The bright sunshine of Hawai'i made me even sadder and the walk felt terribly long. When I finally found the lab, I was glad that I was wearing sunglasses to hide behind it and simply wanted to get the business done without bursting into tears again in front of strangers. I wanted to do a minimum conversation, so I handed one of the receptionists the paper work from my doctor and the container in a brown bag. The woman took the form but then yelled "what is this? I don't understand this order form. What did your doctor say?" and summoned another woman in the office "can you read this? I don't understand..."
As I tried to utter the word "miscarriage,"another woman grabbed my brown bag from the other, opened it, took out the container, and (I swear she said this) "yikes! It's a baby!" At that point, I had no use of these insensitive people and ran out of the door crying.
After that incident, I dreamed about my pink fetus. I did not understand why I was able to leave it with those people. I wanted to bury it properly, and I regretted not thinking through what I was told by the doctor. At the next appointment I asked whether I could take it back, but the doctor did not think so. I needed some closure, a tangible evidence that it was there, even for a brief moment, for us. I took crayons, wrote the pink creature from the sea, and burnt with flowers in the back of our yard. The unknown lavender flowers were blooming and it felt like a perfect place for the fetus to rest.
I had told some of my students about my pregnancy, and hearing the news, Laura lent me a book by a midwife and one section of the book was about miscarriage. I was glad to see that among many stories of happy births in the book, miscarriage was given a space.
When I told people that I had a miscarriage, it was surprising how many said "oh you know, I did too." Miscarriage is an unspoken, yet a natural part of pregnancy. With baby magazines and advertisements emphasizing rosy and cheerful sides of childbirth, we do not have words to talk about it. Yet birth and death are together and inseparable. Life is sacred, yes, but fragile.
Now I am pregnant again. I approach this pregnancy with more acute awareness about possibility of going wrong and greater appreciation of normalcy. I am going to Japan in a week, and there I plan to visit a temple famous as the guardian for the unborn and aborted babies. My mother had gotten me a small jizo (small Buddha) after the miscarriage. The thought of my small one among thousands of cute jizos comforts me-- at least it is not alone. I will be praying for it and the safe arrival of the one that I am carrying.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Rebozo in action!
This shot was taken when I was using my newly purchased rebozo at my 4th and most recent birth. I love it! Thanks girl.
Postpartum visit with Mary, Tom and Baby Ben
Only a few hours after my 3rd birth, I had the chance to go visit the new mommy from my 2nd birth, Mary, her hubby, Tom and their little baby boy, Ben. I was extremely tired but had been excited to see this family so I went. The visit was wonderful. We caught up and also had a long chat about all of our memories of her birth (see Hearth Strength). It was really fun to see the family after they had a few weeks to adjust to their new life. Baby Ben is just adorable and seems like a content little guy.
Mom shared that she had positive memories of her birth, which was music to my ears. As her doula, it was nice to hear her speak of her birth experience in this way. We definitely bonded before her birth, but even more so during and after. I was so lucky to work with such a great couple who I hope to keep in touch with for many years to come.
Mom shared that she had positive memories of her birth, which was music to my ears. As her doula, it was nice to hear her speak of her birth experience in this way. We definitely bonded before her birth, but even more so during and after. I was so lucky to work with such a great couple who I hope to keep in touch with for many years to come.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Mommies love to meet their babies
In my recent poll I asked "What is the best part of pregnancy/childbirth" and the most popular answer was "meeting my baby". This part is my favorite, too, even though I myself have not been pregnant or given birth. I LOVE to see a new moms face when she sees her baby for the first time. Seeing a mom fall in love at first sight with her newborn after what can sometimes be a long, strenuous labor and delivery is for me, the ultimate reward of being a birth doula.
Welcome little baby!
A beautiful baby girl was born on Monday, May 4th at 4:16pm after her mother labored with confidence and efficiency for 14 hours. It was an adventurous day, to say the least. Daddy stayed close by, lending a soothing hand when it was needed. This couple kept the energy flowing the entire day, cracking jokes, chitchatting, and watching entertaining TV shows. The baby was born in perfect condition after only a few strong and hard pushes from her mommy. Congratulations Mama!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Deja vu?
Not deja vu...just another birth! Next day, same time, same hosptial, same doctor, two totally different experiences. This morning, around 3am, one of my clients called and said she was feeling some back pains but wasn't sure it they were just back pains or if it was early labor. When she started experiencing more intense pains, she went to the hospital and found out she was 3cm dilated and definitely in labor! Needless to say, I was on my way to the hospital yet again. I am too tired to write the whole birth story so stay tuned.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Birth #3
I attended my 3rd birth this morning. My client called at 4am and said she was heading to the hospital after 2 days of sporadic contractions. It was time! She did a fabulous job laboring the entire time without any pain meds whatsoever but unfortunately ended up with a C-section due to baby in distress. There was a lot of meconium present when he was delivered via C-section so everyone was grateful that he was born with only a few minor issues. He was transferred immediately to the NICU where he is now being watched closely to make sure his lungs are strong. The doctors are confident that he will be just fine. When I left them, Mom and Dad were tired but ecstatic about their baby boy.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Bellissimo!
"un bambino bellissimo"
(from a Gigantino after seeing this pic on facebook of me and baby Ben)
(from a Gigantino after seeing this pic on facebook of me and baby Ben)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Heart Strength
Heart Strength
Ben's Birth
April 15, 2009
12:56 p.m.
7 lbs, 13 oz, 19 inches
When I woke up to a phone call at 2:20 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I thought it must be a wrong number or a call from a friend in Hawaii forgetting about the time difference. But, it was Tom King, one of my dads-to-be. I was immediately awake. He explained that
Mary’s water had broken and that they would be heading to the hospital to be checked out. I put on my game face because I knew that it had the potential of becoming a long night/day. I had been excited about Mary and Tom’s birth since the day I met them. They seemed like such a great couple, excited about their labor and delivery, and to become parents. So when I talked to Tom early that morning, I told him to call me after they got settled at the hospital to let me know if it was really labor or not. But a few minutes after I hung up with him, I felt something telling me it might really be labor, and that I, too, should go to the hospital. I got ready and took off at 3 a.m. It was raining buckets and just nasty out so I took my time driving. When I arrived at Stamford Hospital at 3:50, Mary and Tom had just arrived. I met them in their room. They seemed excited about the possibility that this was it, and I shared their excitement. Nurse Jane came in and gave us the low down – no food, no water, no birth plan, no nothing. This was a little disconcerting but Mary and Tom remained calm and took the news as best as they could. Mary explained to the nurse that she and Tom were very open, and that these were more “birthing preferences” than a plan. Nurse Jane replied that she liked the term birthing preferences more than birth plan because in her experience, one can never plan a birth! We got comfortable because Mary’s contractions had begun to pick up and after the resident doctor checked her, she knew it was real labor.
Time passed fairly quickly, and Mary’s contractions came frequently and were increasingly stronger. Mary took deep breaths through each one and managed quite nicely. I watched Mary and Tom take one contraction at a time. It was a beautiful sight, to see the love, compassion and friendship that they share. All the while, their little baby’s mighty heart kept beating strong, on and on. At 7 a.m., it was time for shift change, and so we got a new nurse, Jen. She was very kind and seemed to bring a new positive light to the room. Mary took a shower with her supportive husband by her side, which seemed like a relaxing and helpful option for pain relief at that time. When the doctor checked Mary after the shower, she was 4 centimeters dilated and definitely on her way. She was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable and slightly weak. At that point, Mary decided to get an epidural because she felt it might bring her some relief and a chance to nap and hopefully re-fuel. Almost immediately after the epidural was in place, the doctor announced that Mary was already 6 centimeters! We all got excited, knowing that she was making such great progress. She remained strong, despite her feelings of sleepiness and nausea. The epidural brought on some relief, but that only lasted about an hour. Mary was still pretty uncomfortable so the doctor decided to check her again. He gave us the news that she was 10 centimeters dilated! We were all in shock! Mary seemed happy but very surprised that she went from 6 to 10 centimeters in only one hour, and pushing seemed like the furthest thing from her mind. We tried to encourage her, knowing that she could do it. Her baby was ready, and she just needed a little encouragement before she discovered that deep inner heart strength that would help her do what she was meant to.
It only took a few pushes for Mary to whip out her hidden power. It was unbelievably moving to see someone transform this way. Mary stunned everyone, including the nurses and doctors, with her might. She took advantage of every contraction, using them to move her baby down. Mary kept a positive attitude for the entire two hours that she pushed, which surely contributed to her efficiency. Tom cheered her on, every step of the way, making sure she knew how proud he was of her hard work to deliver their baby.
At 12:56 p.m. on Wednesday, April 15, 2009, Mary gave a final push and delivered her son, Ben. Mary immediately embraced her baby boy, showering him with love and kisses. The feelings of love between Mary, Tom and little Ben radiated throughout the room. I had the chance to take some pictures, in an attempt to capture this truly beautiful moment. Ben stayed snuggled close against his mommy, and breastfed perfectly.
Dad stood next to his wife, watching her cuddle with his son. These are the best moments in life. I could feel this new family’s heart strength.
Tom’s parents were waiting anxiously in the lobby, waiting to meet their first grandchild. When they came into the room, I saw their faces light up. They explained how amazing and unreal it was to have a grandson. Tom’s mom even said “I have been waiting for this moment since Thomas was born.” After they were settled, I left Tom, Mary, and Ben because it was time for them to bond and rest after a long night and day of hard work. I left feeling lucky to be a part of something as real as this birth.
Ben's Birth
April 15, 2009
12:56 p.m.
7 lbs, 13 oz, 19 inches
When I woke up to a phone call at 2:20 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I thought it must be a wrong number or a call from a friend in Hawaii forgetting about the time difference. But, it was Tom King, one of my dads-to-be. I was immediately awake. He explained that
Mary’s water had broken and that they would be heading to the hospital to be checked out. I put on my game face because I knew that it had the potential of becoming a long night/day. I had been excited about Mary and Tom’s birth since the day I met them. They seemed like such a great couple, excited about their labor and delivery, and to become parents. So when I talked to Tom early that morning, I told him to call me after they got settled at the hospital to let me know if it was really labor or not. But a few minutes after I hung up with him, I felt something telling me it might really be labor, and that I, too, should go to the hospital. I got ready and took off at 3 a.m. It was raining buckets and just nasty out so I took my time driving. When I arrived at Stamford Hospital at 3:50, Mary and Tom had just arrived. I met them in their room. They seemed excited about the possibility that this was it, and I shared their excitement. Nurse Jane came in and gave us the low down – no food, no water, no birth plan, no nothing. This was a little disconcerting but Mary and Tom remained calm and took the news as best as they could. Mary explained to the nurse that she and Tom were very open, and that these were more “birthing preferences” than a plan. Nurse Jane replied that she liked the term birthing preferences more than birth plan because in her experience, one can never plan a birth! We got comfortable because Mary’s contractions had begun to pick up and after the resident doctor checked her, she knew it was real labor. Time passed fairly quickly, and Mary’s contractions came frequently and were increasingly stronger. Mary took deep breaths through each one and managed quite nicely. I watched Mary and Tom take one contraction at a time. It was a beautiful sight, to see the love, compassion and friendship that they share. All the while, their little baby’s mighty heart kept beating strong, on and on. At 7 a.m., it was time for shift change, and so we got a new nurse, Jen. She was very kind and seemed to bring a new positive light to the room. Mary took a shower with her supportive husband by her side, which seemed like a relaxing and helpful option for pain relief at that time. When the doctor checked Mary after the shower, she was 4 centimeters dilated and definitely on her way. She was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable and slightly weak. At that point, Mary decided to get an epidural because she felt it might bring her some relief and a chance to nap and hopefully re-fuel. Almost immediately after the epidural was in place, the doctor announced that Mary was already 6 centimeters! We all got excited, knowing that she was making such great progress. She remained strong, despite her feelings of sleepiness and nausea. The epidural brought on some relief, but that only lasted about an hour. Mary was still pretty uncomfortable so the doctor decided to check her again. He gave us the news that she was 10 centimeters dilated! We were all in shock! Mary seemed happy but very surprised that she went from 6 to 10 centimeters in only one hour, and pushing seemed like the furthest thing from her mind. We tried to encourage her, knowing that she could do it. Her baby was ready, and she just needed a little encouragement before she discovered that deep inner heart strength that would help her do what she was meant to.
It only took a few pushes for Mary to whip out her hidden power. It was unbelievably moving to see someone transform this way. Mary stunned everyone, including the nurses and doctors, with her might. She took advantage of every contraction, using them to move her baby down. Mary kept a positive attitude for the entire two hours that she pushed, which surely contributed to her efficiency. Tom cheered her on, every step of the way, making sure she knew how proud he was of her hard work to deliver their baby.
At 12:56 p.m. on Wednesday, April 15, 2009, Mary gave a final push and delivered her son, Ben. Mary immediately embraced her baby boy, showering him with love and kisses. The feelings of love between Mary, Tom and little Ben radiated throughout the room. I had the chance to take some pictures, in an attempt to capture this truly beautiful moment. Ben stayed snuggled close against his mommy, and breastfed perfectly.
Dad stood next to his wife, watching her cuddle with his son. These are the best moments in life. I could feel this new family’s heart strength.Tom’s parents were waiting anxiously in the lobby, waiting to meet their first grandchild. When they came into the room, I saw their faces light up. They explained how amazing and unreal it was to have a grandson. Tom’s mom even said “I have been waiting for this moment since Thomas was born.” After they were settled, I left Tom, Mary, and Ben because it was time for them to bond and rest after a long night and day of hard work. I left feeling lucky to be a part of something as real as this birth.
Lord, Protect My Child
Lord, Protect My Child by Bob Dylan
For his age, he's wise
He's got his mother's eyes
There's gladness in his heart
He's young and he's wild
My only prayer is, if I can't be there,
Lord, protect my child
As his youth now unfolds
He is centuries old
Just to see him at play makes me smile
No matter what happens to me
No matter what my destiny
Lord, protect my child
While the world is asleep
You can look at it and weep
Few things you find are worthwhile
And though I don't ask for much
No material things to touch
Lord, protect my child
He's young and on fire
Full of hope and desire
In a world that's been raped, raped and defiled
If I fall along the way
And can't see another day
Lord, protect my child
There'll be a time I hear tell
When all will be well
When God and man will be reconciled
But until men lose their chains
And righteousness reigns
Lord, protect my child
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Well one of my moms' EDD (estimated due date) was today - April 28th. I spoke with her today and she said she has been having light cramping. She also mentioned that when she went to the doctor yesterday, he said she would have her baby probably by the end of the week. I have another mama due May 3rd whom I spoke to today. This mama said she is not feeling ready yet to have her baby, which makes me feel better in knowing that their EDDs are so close to one another!
I also got a job last week working for a country club in Mamaroneck. They seem to be understanding about my doula obligations but the true test will be when I am actually called away from my day job to attend to my mamas who are always my number 1 priority.
So now I am just sitting, waiting, and wishing, but mostly just praying that it all works out! I know it will...it always does, somehow.
I also got a job last week working for a country club in Mamaroneck. They seem to be understanding about my doula obligations but the true test will be when I am actually called away from my day job to attend to my mamas who are always my number 1 priority.
So now I am just sitting, waiting, and wishing, but mostly just praying that it all works out! I know it will...it always does, somehow.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Congratulations! Another beautiful baby has been born!
Congratulations to my latest Mama and Dad on a healthy baby boy delivered at 12:56 on Wednesday, April 15, 2009! What an amazing day. This beautiful Mama tackled her birth like it was nobody's business - giving birth to her first baby after 10 hours of labor. I was amazed by the amount of strength that she exerted during the entire process.
More on this story soon! See: Heart Strength post - May 1, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Every woman deserves a doula!!
There are always newly trained, or newly certified doulas who are looking to take on clients who cannot, for whatever reason, pay for a super duper experienced doula (their prices can range anywhere from $800-$1,500). *Contact DONA international for a list of doulas in your area who might offer their doula services for a price reasonable for you.
*If you live in New York City or Westchester County, please contact me directly if you are interested in a lower cost doula at 914-374-1523 or doulaura@gmail.com
*If you live in New York City or Westchester County, please contact me directly if you are interested in a lower cost doula at 914-374-1523 or doulaura@gmail.com
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Laboring Positions
Standing with foot resting on something sturdy is a good position for opening up your hips and pelvis. You can sway back and forth or just rest with your leg raised and bent.
Sitting on the ball with pillows on a chair, couch or bed to lean on is a very comfortable position and allows the hips to stay open and wide.
Leaning against the ball on a wall or chair can provide a gentle pressure massage against your back. If you are having trouble balancing, try leaning forward on your partner or doula for support.
The ball provides support so leaning on it while resting in childs pose can be quite nice. Ask your partner to rub your back.
Just resting on the ball is always a great position for laboring. If you would like, ask someone to massage your back or to just stand behind you for comfort, it's a great way to stay relaxed.
Slow dancing or just standing and leaning while swaying is a good way to stay in a supported stance for labor. This will gravity to help bring your baby down.
Squatting with the help of a partner can be a comfortable and effective position.
Leaning with your back against a partner can help you into a slight squat. If your partner feels its comfortable to have his or her back against the wall, that might help keep both of you in this position for longer if it is working.
Simply relaxing by sitting backwards on a chair is nice for labor.
Pressure on your lower back while in labor can relieve back pains and pressure.
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