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"Slow down, calm down, don't worry, don't hurry, trust the process." - Alexandra Stoddard

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My 3 Sons

My 3 Sons
By Margaret

Emmet
dob 2/20/86
due date 3/2/86
birth weight 7 lbs. 12 oz.



Emmet was my first baby and my pregnancy was uneventful. I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy even with the first few months of constant nauseousness. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and even I was amazed at how fast I could gain the weight. One month I gained 9 lbs,! No one seemed concerned about it and I enjoyed that aspect of pregnancy. I was a large pregnant person! Other than the weight gain I did not have any health issues and it was all rather routine. We did take Lamaze classes but my husband was constantly frustrated with me because he felt I did not take it seriously. I don’t think I gave much thought to what I would have to do to get the baby out of me and figured I would worry about it when the time came. I was working in a photography studio during my pregnancy and decided to give myself 2 weeks before my due to date to nest and get ready. By this time nesting was pretty much a full time job for me and I was looking forward to staying home and getting ready. Meanwhile 2 months before he was due I insisted on having the room ready, crib assembled, sheets on etc. I had to undo the room and re-clean the sheets more than once since I had it all ready so far ahead. On the first day of my mini maternity leave I was carrying the vacuum down the stairs and felt a gush of water. My initial thought was that I urinated in my pants, which was an odd sensation. I called my OB/GYN and told the nurse I thought my water broke. She assured me I was wrong since I was a few weeks away from my due date and at my last visit I had not dilated, dropped or had any of the other signs. I went to the office and they tested the discharge and confirmed that my water had broken. They sent me home and said if I went into labor to come to the hospital otherwise the next day I would be induced. The rest of the day absolutely nothing happened except the continued leaking of the fluid. The next day (February 19th) I went to the hospital with my NY Times and nervous husband.

I was hooked up to the monitor and the IV with the Pitocin. At first there wasn’t much of anything happening and I commented to the nurse that I had a high tolerance for pain. She smiled and said “We’ll see.” I was in labor all day and very little was happening. At around 3:00 pm I told the doctor I wanted a Cesarean section. My husband disagreed and my doctor wanted to keep trying and assured me I was doing fine. By 9:00 p.m. I was exhausted, frustrated and a little short tempered with my husband. My husband decided to rest in the Fathers Lounge and I was alone in the room when a new nurse came in and asked innocently if I was alone. I had a total emotional breakdown and made them go wake up my husband. At this point they put a sedative in the IV to help with my anxiety. My midnight I was demanding a Cesarean but again my husband and doctor felt I was doing well and progressing albeit slowly.

Finally I had dilated enough that they were able to give me an epidural and I was trying to push the baby out. This went on for a couple of hours and finally they called for Nurse Mary to come in and she got on a step stool and literally pushed the baby out by putting pressure on my abdomen while the doctor grabbed the baby’s head with the forceps. As hard as I tried there was no way I was going to get the baby out. I wrongly assumed that because I am a big strong girl that it would be no problem for me. Turns out I am a large girl with a very narrow pelvis. I also needed the Pitocin the entire time I was in labor and even afterwards to deliver the placenta. My OB/GYN told me that years ago I would have been a mother who never went into labor and would have not been able to deliver a live baby. I would have gone past my due date and the placenta would eventually stop delivering nutrients to the baby and he would have literally starved to death before even being born. Other than having a bit of a cone head my first son was 100% healthy and came home 2 days later to a very clean house.


Luke
DOB 4/19/89
Due Date 4/4/89
Birth Weight 9 lbs. 9 oz.

Once again I packed on 50 lbs. and ate like it was my job. I didn’t have any nauseousness and other than being a little tired my pregnancy was uneventful. I assumed that since my first baby was early that my second baby would be too. I decided to treat March 17th as my due date, which experienced mothers just smiled at. I was a little anxious about going into labor at night and not having anyone to stay with Emmet. My mother came up to stay and be there in case I went into labor at night. As my real and false due date came and went I got more and more upset. I was clearly used to planning and having my plans work out. Twice I went to the hospital thinking I was in labor but the contractions never amounted to anything. The contractions came and went and each time I was sent home disappointed.

Finally when I was two weeks late they had me come in for a sonogram. At the time there was some discussion as to whether I had gotten the date of my last menstrual period wrong, I still remembered the doctor’s words about my not going into labor on my own and was quite certain my due date was correct however I was very passive about it all. The sonogram showed a large healthy baby and the doctor had a new concern: how to get his broad shoulders through my narrow pelvis. I was told to come back in the morning and go on the IV again. The process was pretty similar. I went on the IV, I progressed very slowly but did not need Nurse Mary or the forceps this time. It took all day and until 9 p.m. but I did push the baby out with the OB/GYN helping him to come through one shoulder at a time. He was a larger baby with broad shoulders but his head was not nearly as large as Emmet’s and I had less trouble delivering him. He did have a little jaundice and although I took him home after 2 days I had to bring him back to be tested and then he was fine. When I gave birth to Emmet he ended up with a yeast infection and was hospitalized at about 3 weeks of age. Luke also ended up with a yeast infection which presented itself as thrush and it took many months to clear it up. He also had lactose intolerance and it took many weeks to find a formula that he could tolerate. Emmet had been a projectile vomiter and although Luke didn’t have that although he did scream for a couple of hours every night until we figured out the formula that worked. It was actually “pre-digested” which is an interesting way to describe it. I was so tired that one night I decided to sterilize a pacifier , put it in boiling water and fell asleep and was wakened who knows how much later by the smoke alarm.


Colin
due date 1/22/92
birth date 1/22/92
birth weight 9 lb. 15 oz.



Once again I gained 50 lbs. and when I went to the doctor for my monthly check ups I got on the scale backwards and told the OB/GYN that I was not interested in discussing my weight gain. This was my last pregnancy and I wanted to enjoy it. The doctor was much more interested in my weight gain with this pregnancy but I was completely unwilling to discuss it or healthy eating. I enjoyed being pregnant and although I was not looking forward to childbirth it was going to my last time and I knew what to expect. The big difference was that I insisted on being induced on my due date. I figured if two times I needed pitocin then I was going to need it for the third and wanted to be in control of my house and my other children.

The doctor wanted to wait and see but I felt strongly that on the due date I was going to have the baby. My mother came again and on my due date I went to hospital to be induced. Once again I had not dilated, the baby had not dropped and there was no sign that I was going to go into labor on my own. The process was the same with the IV except that it seemed they turned the volume up on the machine and it made it go faster, it seemed like the pace was controlled by the pitocin. My water did not break and so they broke it for me. Even so I was not dilating very much and they increased the pitocin again. By mid-afternoon I was ready to push and there was something new at the hospital: a birthing chair. It is funny to look back at this but there had been nothing but a regular hospital bed when I had the other babies and then there was this new exciting invention: a chair.

In any case I seemed to be better at pushing this time, I finally was able to just push and not worry about the fact that I knew I was doing it right when I defecated. This time I was better at it and pushed the baby out! I was in the delivery room and pushing and in the next room there was another mom and we were on the same schedule. It fueled me on to try and get my baby out first. She finished first but I did deliver a healthy large baby around 4 in the afternoon. He did not have jaundice, yeast or other minor issues at birth. What he did have was a ton of black hair. He was just under 10 lbs. and had a full head of hair. The doctor joked when he came out that I must have given birth a month ago and was hiding him somewhere. This was the easiest delivery and largest baby, I attribute this to experience: mine and my husbands. He was an excellent coach but it was hard work for both of us and by the third we were able to get the job done without too much fanfare.

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