Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Well one of my moms' EDD (estimated due date) was today - April 28th. I spoke with her today and she said she has been having light cramping. She also mentioned that when she went to the doctor yesterday, he said she would have her baby probably by the end of the week. I have another mama due May 3rd whom I spoke to today. This mama said she is not feeling ready yet to have her baby, which makes me feel better in knowing that their EDDs are so close to one another!

I also got a job last week working for a country club in Mamaroneck. They seem to be understanding about my doula obligations but the true test will be when I am actually called away from my day job to attend to my mamas who are always my number 1 priority.

So now I am just sitting, waiting, and wishing, but mostly just praying that it all works out! I know it will...it always does, somehow.

Congratulations! Another beautiful baby has been born!

Congratulations to my latest Mama and Dad on a healthy baby boy delivered at 12:56 on Wednesday, April 15, 2009! What an amazing day. This beautiful Mama tackled her birth like it was nobody's business - giving birth to her first baby after 10 hours of labor. I was amazed by the amount of strength that she exerted during the entire process.

More on this story soon! See: Heart Strength post - May 1, 2009

Every woman deserves a doula!!

There are always newly trained, or newly certified doulas who are looking to take on clients who cannot, for whatever reason, pay for a super duper experienced doula (their prices can range anywhere from $800-$1,500). *Contact DONA international for a list of doulas in your area who might offer their doula services for a price reasonable for you.

*If you live in New York City or Westchester County, please contact me directly if you are interested in a lower cost doula at 914-374-1523 or doulaura@gmail.com

Laboring Positions

Standing with foot resting on something sturdy is a good position for opening up your hips and pelvis. You can sway back and forth or just rest with your leg raised and bent.


Sitting on the ball with pillows on a chair, couch or bed to lean on is a very comfortable position and allows the hips to stay open and wide.



Leaning against the ball on a wall or chair can provide a gentle pressure massage against your back. If you are having trouble balancing, try leaning forward on your partner or doula for support.


The ball provides support so leaning on it while resting in childs pose can be quite nice. Ask your partner to rub your back.




Just resting on the ball is always a great position for laboring. If you would like, ask someone to massage your back or to just stand behind you for comfort, it's a great way to stay relaxed.










Slow dancing or just standing and leaning while swaying is a good way to stay in a supported stance for labor. This will gravity to help bring your baby down.





Squatting with the help of a partner can be a comfortable and effective position.






Leaning with your back against a partner can help you into a slight squat. If your partner feels its comfortable to have his or her back against the wall, that might help keep both of you in this position for longer if it is working.




Simply relaxing by sitting backwards on a chair is nice for labor.







Pressure on your lower back while in labor can relieve back pains and pressure.

Triplets!!

My cousin and her husband had triplets - 3 boys!! Now they have 5 kids under the age of 3! I am so happy to share these adorable pictures of the triplets, who are now around 6 months old. I am hoping to share her birth story one of these days but as you can imagine, she is quite busy.

Childbirth Simulator?

A friend sent me this link. You should check it out:

CLICK HERE

Painful Childbirth

How painful is childbirth, really???

This subject is a tough one. Women who have experienced childbirth will tell you all different answers to this question. My wonderful mother who gave birth to three children completely naturally gave me this answer:

"It all depends on your expectations of the pain before your birth. If you expect it to be hard, you will find that you are right, but fear is different than difficulty. I went in knowing it was going to be hard, but I wasn't necessarily scared. The good part about natural birth is that you forget the pain as soon as you look into your babys eyes, reflect on the experience and realize that you now have this tremendous, amazing responsibility. It is supposed to be painful and that is part of having a baby. It is important to embrace your womanhood and realize that it is a blessing, not a burden. The pain is all part of the process."

Please share your thoughts about birth and the pain!

Below is a link about this subject:

Unnecessary Pain During Childbirth

Early labor...stay at home, if you can

Staying at home where you are most comfortable, as long as possible can help a woman get to the hospital when her labor is active and can lead to fewer interventions. Here are a few things you can do while you are at home in early labor to keep busy, kill time, progress your labor while staying comfortable:

-eat a meal
-hydrate yourself
-take a shower or a bath (if your water has not broken yet)
-take a walk
-read a book
-play a game
-ask your partner for a massage
-dance (slow dance, hula, anything that keeps your pelvis and hips moving)
-watch TV or a movie
-do some yoga
-smooch with your partner
-urinate frequently
-relax!

Adoption

I was passed along this information from a colleague. If you, or someone you know is thinking of adoption, please visit this website:

Elizabeth and Keith Adoption Site

My 3 Sons

My 3 Sons
By Margaret

Emmet
dob 2/20/86
due date 3/2/86
birth weight 7 lbs. 12 oz.



Emmet was my first baby and my pregnancy was uneventful. I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy even with the first few months of constant nauseousness. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and even I was amazed at how fast I could gain the weight. One month I gained 9 lbs,! No one seemed concerned about it and I enjoyed that aspect of pregnancy. I was a large pregnant person! Other than the weight gain I did not have any health issues and it was all rather routine. We did take Lamaze classes but my husband was constantly frustrated with me because he felt I did not take it seriously. I don’t think I gave much thought to what I would have to do to get the baby out of me and figured I would worry about it when the time came. I was working in a photography studio during my pregnancy and decided to give myself 2 weeks before my due to date to nest and get ready. By this time nesting was pretty much a full time job for me and I was looking forward to staying home and getting ready. Meanwhile 2 months before he was due I insisted on having the room ready, crib assembled, sheets on etc. I had to undo the room and re-clean the sheets more than once since I had it all ready so far ahead. On the first day of my mini maternity leave I was carrying the vacuum down the stairs and felt a gush of water. My initial thought was that I urinated in my pants, which was an odd sensation. I called my OB/GYN and told the nurse I thought my water broke. She assured me I was wrong since I was a few weeks away from my due date and at my last visit I had not dilated, dropped or had any of the other signs. I went to the office and they tested the discharge and confirmed that my water had broken. They sent me home and said if I went into labor to come to the hospital otherwise the next day I would be induced. The rest of the day absolutely nothing happened except the continued leaking of the fluid. The next day (February 19th) I went to the hospital with my NY Times and nervous husband.

I was hooked up to the monitor and the IV with the Pitocin. At first there wasn’t much of anything happening and I commented to the nurse that I had a high tolerance for pain. She smiled and said “We’ll see.” I was in labor all day and very little was happening. At around 3:00 pm I told the doctor I wanted a Cesarean section. My husband disagreed and my doctor wanted to keep trying and assured me I was doing fine. By 9:00 p.m. I was exhausted, frustrated and a little short tempered with my husband. My husband decided to rest in the Fathers Lounge and I was alone in the room when a new nurse came in and asked innocently if I was alone. I had a total emotional breakdown and made them go wake up my husband. At this point they put a sedative in the IV to help with my anxiety. My midnight I was demanding a Cesarean but again my husband and doctor felt I was doing well and progressing albeit slowly.

Finally I had dilated enough that they were able to give me an epidural and I was trying to push the baby out. This went on for a couple of hours and finally they called for Nurse Mary to come in and she got on a step stool and literally pushed the baby out by putting pressure on my abdomen while the doctor grabbed the baby’s head with the forceps. As hard as I tried there was no way I was going to get the baby out. I wrongly assumed that because I am a big strong girl that it would be no problem for me. Turns out I am a large girl with a very narrow pelvis. I also needed the Pitocin the entire time I was in labor and even afterwards to deliver the placenta. My OB/GYN told me that years ago I would have been a mother who never went into labor and would have not been able to deliver a live baby. I would have gone past my due date and the placenta would eventually stop delivering nutrients to the baby and he would have literally starved to death before even being born. Other than having a bit of a cone head my first son was 100% healthy and came home 2 days later to a very clean house.


Luke
DOB 4/19/89
Due Date 4/4/89
Birth Weight 9 lbs. 9 oz.

Once again I packed on 50 lbs. and ate like it was my job. I didn’t have any nauseousness and other than being a little tired my pregnancy was uneventful. I assumed that since my first baby was early that my second baby would be too. I decided to treat March 17th as my due date, which experienced mothers just smiled at. I was a little anxious about going into labor at night and not having anyone to stay with Emmet. My mother came up to stay and be there in case I went into labor at night. As my real and false due date came and went I got more and more upset. I was clearly used to planning and having my plans work out. Twice I went to the hospital thinking I was in labor but the contractions never amounted to anything. The contractions came and went and each time I was sent home disappointed.

Finally when I was two weeks late they had me come in for a sonogram. At the time there was some discussion as to whether I had gotten the date of my last menstrual period wrong, I still remembered the doctor’s words about my not going into labor on my own and was quite certain my due date was correct however I was very passive about it all. The sonogram showed a large healthy baby and the doctor had a new concern: how to get his broad shoulders through my narrow pelvis. I was told to come back in the morning and go on the IV again. The process was pretty similar. I went on the IV, I progressed very slowly but did not need Nurse Mary or the forceps this time. It took all day and until 9 p.m. but I did push the baby out with the OB/GYN helping him to come through one shoulder at a time. He was a larger baby with broad shoulders but his head was not nearly as large as Emmet’s and I had less trouble delivering him. He did have a little jaundice and although I took him home after 2 days I had to bring him back to be tested and then he was fine. When I gave birth to Emmet he ended up with a yeast infection and was hospitalized at about 3 weeks of age. Luke also ended up with a yeast infection which presented itself as thrush and it took many months to clear it up. He also had lactose intolerance and it took many weeks to find a formula that he could tolerate. Emmet had been a projectile vomiter and although Luke didn’t have that although he did scream for a couple of hours every night until we figured out the formula that worked. It was actually “pre-digested” which is an interesting way to describe it. I was so tired that one night I decided to sterilize a pacifier , put it in boiling water and fell asleep and was wakened who knows how much later by the smoke alarm.


Colin
due date 1/22/92
birth date 1/22/92
birth weight 9 lb. 15 oz.



Once again I gained 50 lbs. and when I went to the doctor for my monthly check ups I got on the scale backwards and told the OB/GYN that I was not interested in discussing my weight gain. This was my last pregnancy and I wanted to enjoy it. The doctor was much more interested in my weight gain with this pregnancy but I was completely unwilling to discuss it or healthy eating. I enjoyed being pregnant and although I was not looking forward to childbirth it was going to my last time and I knew what to expect. The big difference was that I insisted on being induced on my due date. I figured if two times I needed pitocin then I was going to need it for the third and wanted to be in control of my house and my other children.

The doctor wanted to wait and see but I felt strongly that on the due date I was going to have the baby. My mother came again and on my due date I went to hospital to be induced. Once again I had not dilated, the baby had not dropped and there was no sign that I was going to go into labor on my own. The process was the same with the IV except that it seemed they turned the volume up on the machine and it made it go faster, it seemed like the pace was controlled by the pitocin. My water did not break and so they broke it for me. Even so I was not dilating very much and they increased the pitocin again. By mid-afternoon I was ready to push and there was something new at the hospital: a birthing chair. It is funny to look back at this but there had been nothing but a regular hospital bed when I had the other babies and then there was this new exciting invention: a chair.

In any case I seemed to be better at pushing this time, I finally was able to just push and not worry about the fact that I knew I was doing it right when I defecated. This time I was better at it and pushed the baby out! I was in the delivery room and pushing and in the next room there was another mom and we were on the same schedule. It fueled me on to try and get my baby out first. She finished first but I did deliver a healthy large baby around 4 in the afternoon. He did not have jaundice, yeast or other minor issues at birth. What he did have was a ton of black hair. He was just under 10 lbs. and had a full head of hair. The doctor joked when he came out that I must have given birth a month ago and was hiding him somewhere. This was the easiest delivery and largest baby, I attribute this to experience: mine and my husbands. He was an excellent coach but it was hard work for both of us and by the third we were able to get the job done without too much fanfare.

If I go with a midwife, should I still hire a doula?

Many people might think if you are seeing a midwife, hiring a doula might be redundant. However, midwives and doulas complement each other nicely and hiring both can make for a wonderful birth experience. The responsibilities of a midwife differ from those of a doula.

So, what is the difference?

A midwife is not always there to provide the continuous support that a doula can offer. Her responsibilities are more clinical and it is therefore important for the midwife to have full energy and focus. She also might be tending to more than 1 laboring mother if you are in a hospital. A doula can help the mom and her partner stay comfortable during the early stages of labor by providing suggestions about how to remain in good spirits while practicing techniques that help the labor progress.

A doula can provide a gentle touch and kind words during your labor and delivery, keeping the mother and her partner in a well informed, calm place. It is reassuring for mom to know there is someone there for her who is educated in childbirth and can offer physical support, emotional, educational support when it is needed.

Keeping a mom comfortable is a doulas main priority during labor and delivery. Doulas can help a mom have a satisfying birth experience by honoring her wishes, respecting her decisions while allowing her to feel that she has the information she needs to make the right decisions for her body, her birth and her baby.

See below for a midwife's opinion on this subject:

Click here

Pushhhh

The act of pushing a baby out of one's body...sounds crazy, doesn't it? People seem to have very different views of pushing, and how it should be done. I have heard the words "beautiful", "amazing", "unbelievable", "difficult", "weird", "gross", "cool", "painful", used in many different combos when talking about this activity that happens every single day to women all over the world. So, whats the deal?

Pushing is what the birthing community has named "second stage" of labor. There is no telling how long this stage will last, as it varies greatly depending on whether the mother has done it before, or its her first time, what position she is in, what types of interventions she has faced, her support system, the size of her baby, among other factors.

"Laboring Down the Baby"
A term used to describe the waiting period between full dilation of the cervix and pushing. Mothers can use this time to allow her baby to naturally move down her pelvis, making the active pushing phase more successful in a shorter period of time. This time can also be used to move around, allowing for the baby to turn as he must before he is welcomed into the world.

Laboring down is a technique that is becoming more and more popular in birthing centers and hospitals. Midwives, in essence, have been using this technique for centuries as they encourage women to embrace the signals they receive from their bodies and to just do what they feel. This allows the laboring mother to push only when she is feeling that natural urge.

I have taken an interest to this particular aspect of pregnancy and childbirth and will continue to research the different areas of this fascinating subject.

Birth Stories

Aloha! During the past year, I have heard many many different birth stories from women from all walks of life. I am hoping to make a portion of this blog dedicated to birth stories because I find them all so interesting, passionate and unique.

If this is something you might be open to, please let me know! I would love to be able to hear and share your birth stories.