Postpartum visit with Stephanie and Sean

I had a wonderful visit with new mom Stephanie and her baby boy, Sean. We chatted for over two hours about her birth and just life. I held baby Sean and mom seemed to be doing very well. When I got there, I parked in a spot that I would have to move my car in 1 hour 45 mins because I thought I would be leaving by then but time just flew by because we were chit-chatting away. It was fun and so good to see Stephanie and her son.

A Birth Story

By K.F.

As I am writing the memories of that special day come back to me when my first born was finally handed to me. After having lost my first child due to a miscarriage I was extremely excited but also nervous about this delivery. I will say that I was unprepared for what was to come that day. My Mom, being very old-fashioned, did not exactly explain what was or could happen to me. I was only twenty two years old at the time and my husband was a policeman in the Bronx. He was at work when I went into labor and unfortunately in Court when we tried to contact him. My parents ended up having to take me to the hospital. I must also say that I was, by this time, a little more than two weeks overdue and very big. After getting to the hospital and being examined by my doctor he said he was giving me something to relax me but in actuality it was something to slow down my contractions so that he would be able to go to his office for his office hours.

Well it backfired on me, making me very ill. I began throwing up and feeling miserable. My poor husband arrived and I ended up getting sick all over him. He was a trooper even though neither of us knew what to do or really what was happening. When my doctor finally returned to the hospital he examined me and now wanted to speed things up. Well, my baby had other plans; he was lying sideways and therefore not ready to be delivered. While in the delivery room, the staff hooked me up to the vacuum, not a very nice feeling. I remember sitting at the edge of the delivery table, in excruciating pain, with no pain medication, and trying to help push him out. The doctor also had to use forceps which were extremely painful. I truthfully thought I was going to die. One of the people, and there were many since it was a teaching hospital, was lying across my stomach trying to help. I later found out she also was a doctor, a little more compassionate than my own doctor.

By the time I finally delivered, I had been in labor for a total of about 35 hours. I was all torn up needing many stitches. Our son, William, was born weighing in at 9 lbs. 8 oz. and was pretty marked up. I was initially very concerned since they did not bring him to me for 1 1/2 days but later found out they were very concerned about me. I was not able to get out of bed for the first two days because of the terrible tear and the many stitches. I really do not think I could have stood up on my own anyway. Billy, as we called him, came out of it miraculously well except for some bruising and the marks from the forceps. We were all grateful for the outcome. As I healed I decided not to return to the same doctor since he put me through such hell. He actually did not even step inside my room after Billy was born. I was seen by my roommate’s doctor who was very concerned about me having heard from other doctors what had gone on. I felt it was like a big “show” when I was delivering. There were so many interns and other doctors watching on and I guess learning.

After I healed and time passed I decided I wanted another baby only to find out I was going to have problems. When the delivery doctor stitched me he sewed me all wrong which resulted in a couple of surgeries. Well seven and a half years later I finally had another baby, a girl, with absolutely no problems. I feel my doctors who delivered and saw me all through my ordeal, after Billy and throughout my pregnancy, understood me and helped me to have a smooth delivery. It lasted only twenty minutes, start to finish. I feel with the right care anyone should be able to have a beautiful pregnancy and delivery.

Birthing Fans

Sean’s Birth
June 3, 2009
4:13pm
7 pounds, 14 ounces

From the day Stephanie and I met, I felt we had a great connection. She and I chatted for over an hour and a half about everything from her pregnancy to my doula background to her boyfriends’ life in the US Army. It was a great conversation and when she told me that she wanted me to be her doula, I was excited. We met a few more times over the next three months. Her biggest concern about the birth was that was she very nervous about the pain. I assured her that things would be okay, and that she would never have to be alone during her labor. I promised her emotional support along with some secret doula pain relief strategies.

So when she called me the night she went into labor, I was happy to hear she was at home, contracting steadily and ready for me to come over. When I arrived, Stephanie seemed to be handling the contractions very well. She was calm, relaxed and quiet. During contractions she took deep breaths and I tried to remind her of what her body was doing. She asked me if we should go to the hospital yet or not and I told her that it was ultimately up to her but that we could try to stay at home a little longer as I had just gotten there. We broke up the time into 30 minute intervals. I kept saying, okay, lets just see if we can stay for another 30. That only lasted about 90 minutes. Stephanie said “Okay, I think I’m ready to go.” Since her contractions were every 2 minutes, I knew she was really getting there, making progress.

When Stephanie, her mother, grandmother, and I arrived at the hospital, Stephanie went right into triage. Her mother, grandmother and I waited in the waiting area for over an hour before we found out what was going on back there! They allowed me into triage after the doctor announced that Stephanie was already dilated 7cm. We were all very happy but when I saw Stephanie, she seemed to be in different kind of pain than before. This is when I had to tell her after each contraction that she was almost there and that she was doing beautifully! She didn’t believe me and just asked for some relief. I gave her some ice and tried to relax her with a light massage during contractions. When we finally got into the L&D room 6, she asked for an epidural. When the anesthesiologist came, Stephanie looked relieved. By this time it was 11am and although she was 8 centimeters and was nearing the end of her labor, she felt an epidural would allow her to relax so she could rest before the pushing. It took a while for the anesthesiologist to place the epidural correctly and Stephanie was a real trooper through the whole thing. I was able to stay in the room while this was going on, my first time seeing an epidural placed, and I was so impressed by how calm she was, even during contractions!

By 2:30, she was ready to start pushing. The birthing team, or I guess I should say the birthing fans were geared up and ready to cheer Stephanie on. Between me, the female resident, Stephanie’s mom and grandma, we made a rather strong sound during the final stages of Stephanie’s pushing. Perhaps it was because we felt such energy and excitement from watching a miracle happen before our eyes, or maybe it was the way we instinctively felt Stephanie needed to be supported. Whatever it was, it felt like a true womanhood moment. The two male doctors in the room kept looking at one another like as if to say “yikes”, but managed to keep smiling. When it got a a little too loud the head doctor to give us a “shh.” At 4:13pm on June 3, 2009, Stephanie gave birth to her beautiful baby boy, Sean. He was absolutely stunning. Mom looked shocked and in awe when she laid eyes on her son. To witness the birth of a 4th generation was an amazing thing. Stephanie did a fabulous job and seemed to be feeling good a couple of hours after delivery. I gave them all hugs and well wishes and was on my way.

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Epidurals....

So, why wouldn't I get an epidural? Many people might think that doulas are anti-epidural. I recently read a NY Times article titled And the Doula Makes Four which gave doulas some negative press, I think. I would like to clarify some points about myself as a doula because I can obviously only speak for myself.

As a birth doula, it is my job and goal to provide unconditional, continuous labor support to my clients, epidural or not, planned c-section or not, au natural or not. When I sign on for a job, I commit to offer educational support to the woman so that she can make her own informed decision. I strongly believe that the choices made before, during and after birth are a woman's right and if she has the resources to make an informed choice, we should respect that.

I am proud to be a doula who can support a woman through many different types of labors and births. I respect the woman who chooses to have her baby at home, intervention free. I also respect the woman who decides that she wants some pain relief from an epidural.

So, why are some against epidurals? My guess would be that when a person learns and believes that labor and childbirth are natural processes that occur for a reason, it makes more sense to not mess with that process. Birth is often described as a miracle and some may feel that to intervene or interrupt this miracle would be disrespectful and inhumane. I agree, birth is a miracle and natural is always best. However, what we must remember is that birth is something that occurs within a woman and we must leave the choices surrounding childbirth up to her because after all, it is her body and her birth.

A Big One

Justin’s Birth
June 1, 2009
2:59am
10 pounds, 8.4 ounces
22 ¼ inches

When Katie’s sister, Jo, called me at 11:30pm she told me that Katie’s water had just broken and that they were going to relax because her contractions had not started yet. I told her to call me if things changed. The phone rang again at 1:30am but this time it was Katie. All she said was “can you come over and show me some breathing techniques because the pain is getting bad.” I said yes and got going. I arrived at her house around 2:15am. She was visibly uncomfortable but still chit-chatty so as to seem that she was managing her pain very well. Her sister and mom were asleep. I helped her breath through her contractions as they came, every 4 or 5 minutes. She changed positions every half hour or so and that seemed to help. We went for a walk, she took a hot shower, we ate breakfast and before we knew it, it was 8am. We managed to stay home until 11:30am. If the doctor hadn’t requested that we come in, Katie could have definitely labored at home for a while longer. But since her water broke 12 hours prior, the doctor felt we should come in.

When we arrived at the hospital, it took a while for Katie to get checked out. I noticed how much the hospital atmosphere changed the vibe of Katie and her labor. She seemed a little more scared and anxious to have her baby. When they checked her at 1:30pm, she was 4 centimeters dilated. I could tell this disappointed Katie because she had been in labor for more than 12 hours and was hoping that she was 6 or 7 by now. I tried to reassure her, letting her know that we would labor at the hospital until the job was done. She got an epidural a few hours later to relieve her discomfort and hopefully get some sleep. Katie’s labor might have lasted two days but unfortunately she acquired a fever and her baby’s heart rate was going up. The doctors tried some Tylenol and although Katie was 7 centimeters at 2:30am, 26 hours after her water broke, the doctors agreed that a C-section was the only option. She seemed disappointed but she put in a very good effort, and I was so proud of her. It can be hard to go through such a long labor in a hospital setting.

So, her 10 pound, 8.4 ounce baby boy was born at 2:59am on June 1st. When the doctor came to tell us in the waiting room, we were stunned at the size of this guy! Her Dad said “oh he is definitely going to be a football player!” The doctor had a few pictures to show us so that was exciting. When I saw Katie in recovery a few minutes later, she looked okay but was fast asleep. After all that hard work, how wouldn’t be tired? She needed to rest.

I left around 4am, got home at 5am, and crashed…

Fear in Childbirth

Fear in Childbirth Video

A nice video made by nursing students attempting to capture the issue of fears about childbirth. I think this video does a nice job of stating facts and research while supporting women by saying that fear is NORMAL and natural. It is important for us to support, educate, and tend to women in labor to diminish their fears and help them have a smooth birth experience. A positive birth experience plays a big role in mother's satisfaction about parenting and her ability to have a baby. We need to let women know that they can do it by providing them with that unconditional care and support they really need and is too often overlooked.

A Baby Story

Allison’s Birth
May 21, 2009
9 pounds, 3 ounces

After driving back from the Hamptons, I finally arrived at the hospital where Lindsay had recently been induced. It was obvious from the moment I arrived that Lindsay’s mother was there for more than just her granddaughter’s grand entrance. The two of them were definitely in a rhythm. Her mom was doing all the right things. It was nice to see the way Lindsay and her mother worked together. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my place in this birth would be to take a step back and let Lindsay do her thing with her mom and husband, William, by her side and her supportive father in the waiting room, checking in from time to time. This was truly a “mothering the mother” situation and I wasn’t about to interrupt their beautiful dance.

Lindsay labored for about 21 hours and did a great job managing her pain the entire time. She took deep yogic breaths and seemed very focused on what she was doing. When she got an epidural, she seemed to get some relief but it wore off pretty quickly. The anesthesiologist gave her a top off or two. When she was ready to push, everyone on her birthing team was excited. William, Lindsay’s mother, father and I all cheered her on. She pushed for a little over an hour and delivered her entire baby in one last push at 11:00am. It was an emotional welcoming as Lindsay and William were obviously overcome with joy to meet their little girl. I teared up as I watched them embrace one another with hugs of happiness after they told Lindsay’s mom that the baby would be named after her. I felt like I was watching a movie but it was far from a movie – it was so so real.

Postpartum visit with Catherine and Theresa

The first time I met Catherine, she asked me I was Italian. I told her yes and we joked about having an Italian feast after her birth where we would watch her birth video (originally she wanted me to film it but the hospitals said absolutely not). So before I went to the postpartum visit with Catherine, I made her some baked ziti. She was thrilled. She, her friend who was over, and their daughters even tried it while I was there.


We had a nice time, chatting about this and that and reminiscing about her birth experience a few weeks back. Baby Theresa was in my arms the entire time and I even got to give her a bottle! It was nice to see mom and baby doing so well. We said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch for years to come!

Birth #7

I can't believe I have done so many births in the last month or so. This one came right after #6 but was a bit shorter. Mom labored at home for about 6 hours and when we got to the hospital was already 7 cm! I was so proud of her. She did very well for the entire labor and delivery and gave birth to a 7 pound 14 ounce baby at 4:13pm. It was a fun day!!

One long haul with a big reward!

It was a long labor for my latest birth mom, Sarah, who gave birth at 2:59am on June 1st to a rather large baby boy - 10 pounds, 8.4 ounces, 22 1/4 inches long. He made his entrance in the OR after 27 hours of labor. Mom worked very hard and did everything right but little John just didn't want to come out! Baby was born healthy and mom was unbelievably happy to meet her new little guy.

First births

In my poll about first birth experiences, answers varied. First births are so filled with many different kinds of emotions that it can be an overwhelming experience. Pregnancy with your first baby is usually an exciting time for many women as they prepare for their very first child. In preparing for the birth, mommies to be can't help but picture how they would like their birth to pan out. But as I have learned, one can never predict, or plan. It is important to be well educated about the different situations that can occur before, during and after birth in order to approach your pregnancy and birth with an positive but open mind. Excitement about meeting your baby and being a mom is a perfectly healthy feeling and should be embraced to the fullest!